Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey Podcast, where your guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth.
Each week we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way.
Please note, this podcast should not replace medical care or advice.
We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists.
If you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions.
So, explorers, let's dive into today's episode.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: Hey, explorers, it's Tara. Karen and I are thrilled to talk about one of our favorite topics today. In this episode, we are talking about joy. Yeah, we talk about joy a lot because we love joy. Joy is amazing. And it's also, if you know me, you know I love a good theme. It is also playing off of our content theme for the month, joy and aliveness. But not in the performative spools out for summer sense, but joy, as we said in one of our early episodes, that joy is our birthright. And baby, the way that the world is right now, I know truly and deeply inside of me that we can all use a joy infusion. So that's part of what we are hoping we accomplish. In however many episodes this month that we talk about joy, it'll probably be all five of them, but whatever, it's
[00:01:45] Speaker C: going to be all of them. Let's just, let's just call it what it is. Because you can't skip over joy, my friends, right? Like you, you have to find it every day, at least something, right? That that brings you joy, that that lights you up. It's so important. It's like eating your fiber. It's whatever it is.
[00:02:05] Speaker B: Like, no, I think the trendy thing now is protein. It's not fiber.
[00:02:08] Speaker C: Where, okay, it's pro, like eating your 50 to 60 grams of protein. Like you gotta have your joy intake, right? We are prescribing that right now in this moment.
[00:02:21] Speaker B: And we would be remiss to say, like, joy is.
Where did my brain just go? I swear, perimenopause be tearing me up inside.
It is combined with the hormonal. Oh yeah, where is my brain going? Like, where.
[00:02:37] Speaker C: What was the next word?
[00:02:39] Speaker B: Before we talk about joy, I want to talk a little bit about what comes first because I know it's hard to experience joy when you don't feel like you are actually living your life. So the thing that comes first is aliveness. So in order to even get to the joy, we have to recognize that there's a difference between living and existing. In order to connect and cling to the joy, we have to first move beyond just existing to actually living, AKA aliveness.
[00:03:09] Speaker C: Right. And that requires a bit of self permission, a bit of self awareness to see where you're at and then permission to do so, to bring in the joy, to focus on the joy, to notice.
[00:03:22] Speaker B: Yeah. Because I don't feel like a lot of people are walking around like, oh, I need more joy in my life. They're saying things like, I'm tired, I feel disconnected. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I should be grateful. But I feel like something is missing. And a lot of times what's missing isn't another strategy, another process, another whatever. What's missing is you, like the connection to yourself.
[00:03:45] Speaker C: You connected to you.
[00:03:46] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
It's this, that connection, fundamental of connections. That's what's missing.
[00:03:56] Speaker C: Right. Because if we don't remember who we are, if we don't feel connected to who we are, then how can we possibly access what we think or feel might bring us joy? Right. You gotta do the inventory. You gotta sort of shift into.
Oh, the idea of just existing just makes me want to just cry, you know, because that's not why we're here.
That we're not here just to be in comfort, familiarity zone, stagnant, stuck. Just existing, moving along, counting the days till you meet your maker kind of a thing. Like, let's just live and living equals joy.
[00:04:31] Speaker B: Living equals joy. And moving from like just barely functioning or only functioning to actually feeling the things.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the checklist and the to do list and handling all the things, managing all the things, carrying all the things, doing all of the things that life becomes this thing that we maintain instead of something that we experience.
Oh, creative experiences.
[00:04:59] Speaker C: Imagine. Right. Wait, what do you mean I can create my life?
[00:05:02] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh, you absolutely. You are creating your life every single day. But it is hard to imagine something that you can create, something that you can actively participate in when you are in maybe survival mode or you're burnt out and overwhelmed because you've been giving all of the care to all of the people.
Not just caregiving, but giving it all away or stuck on this achievement cycle loop like, oh, yay, I made it to this next phase and I still something missing. Because you're disconnected.
[00:05:34] Speaker C: It feels empty.
[00:05:35] Speaker B: Right.
[00:05:35] Speaker C: When you get to those goals that you thought, when I get to that goal, I'll be happy. When I get to that goal, I'll feel satisfied, I'll feel Joy, guess what? That ain't gonna happen.
And the reason it's not gonna happen is because it has nothing to do with joy. We think we have this mode of doing. Do, do, do, do, do, Reach, reach, reach, strive, strive, strive. That is not where joy lives. Joy lives in those quiet, subtle moments of self awareness, creative expression, feeling connected to self and others. That's where joy lives. Joy doesn't live in the task lists and the agendas and the goals.
[00:06:15] Speaker B: They don't. Because, baby, the task list would be task. Listen, it's like laundry. Like, it's never always for eternity.
[00:06:23] Speaker C: It will never be all boxes checked.
[00:06:27] Speaker B: It will never be that.
[00:06:28] Speaker C: So.
[00:06:29] Speaker B: Oh, and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we can return.
[00:06:33] Speaker C: Exactly.
[00:06:35] Speaker B: I think too, like, the hardest part about this disconnection from self and disconnection from joy is that it happens gradually, is so incremental, like, we don't notice it until someone asks us a seemingly simple question of, like, what brings you joy? And we sit there looking like a deer in the headlights, like.
Like, joy. How do you spell it?
[00:06:57] Speaker C: Yeah, define it for me and then I'll see if I can figure it out.
[00:07:01] Speaker B: We're just sitting there, like, I don't know what brings me joy, or I haven't felt joy in such a long time. Like, I don't remember what it is to be joyful, y'.
[00:07:12] Speaker D: All.
[00:07:12] Speaker B: That made me want to cry.
[00:07:13] Speaker C: Like, dang, that is unacceptable. I'm just. Seriously, that is unacceptable. No, thank you.
Please don't do that. Please don't live like that. There's so much to be experienced.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: The sooner we get out of the task list, the never ending task. Like, as soon as we get out of the productivity trap, I feel like we get closer to being alive and experiencing joy. Because joy is the thing that helps us stay human.
[00:07:36] Speaker C: Liberate yourself. Free yourself from that. Right? And allow yourself to explore your identity. What is it you. What is your identity now? And what is it you want your identity to be? And how can we take small steps to get there? And joy and learning what brings you joy is a piece of that.
[00:07:54] Speaker B: And tapping into joy, being joyful, feeling alive.
It's not always dramatic. Like, it's not always this major life shift, this mountaintop moment where we're like, yes, I did it. I am now truly joyful and alive. But y' all aliveness is so quiet.
It is so. It is so simple. Like, for me, I was driving yesterday and one of my favorite songs came out because my brain is the way it is right now. I don't remember what song it was, but baby, I was jamming out at the stoplight, like singing in the car. I know the people beside me, like she vibing I am little things, little quiet moments, little noticing like that. Like singing in the car, laughing with your friends, walking outside.
Except for when it's 975,000 kelvin outside. I mean, it was still a good walk, but it's not as joyful.
[00:08:46] Speaker C: That's hilarious. You know what joy is to me? What aliveness is to me is the first bird song I hear in the morning.
Like, do you know how happy, how joyful those little birdies are? Man, that sun just starts thinking about coming up, and they're like.
I'm like, it's so simple.
They're just noticing. They're just reacting to the energy and the joy and the beauty of that new day are coming and they just start. And I'm just like, yeah, you got it figured out.
[00:09:20] Speaker B: Another joyful thing is when I lose track of time, like when I'm in the super creative or super focused mode, and I'm like, oh, that's it. I'm locked in. This is joyful. And I don't know how much time has passed and I'm like, oh, we were creating something. Bringing something from vision or dream to reality, that is joyful for me. And the biggest part for me now also has to do with my spiritual wellness. So when I feel connected to God, that is also joyful for me. Because I'm like, it's crazy out everywhere right now, but if I tap in recenter and I'm like, all right, who am I? What am I here to do?
That's joyful.
[00:09:56] Speaker C: Yeah. Honestly, that's isn't.
[00:09:59] Speaker B: That really isn't.
[00:10:00] Speaker C: Isn't really the only question we need to answer for ourselves. Like connecting to something bigger than ourselves and saying, who am I?
What is my purpose? What am I here to do? Express, be, live. And I think you were talking about that flow state, right? That flow state that you get in when you're doing something that just feels so good and aligned and right for you and you lose track of time because, I. E. Time is a construct. So that flow state, that creative expression, that being in that moment, that is so rich, that is so joy filled. That is true aliveness, right? That is when we are so present and so engaged with our creative expression. Whatever form that takes for you that nothing else matters. Nothing else matters. I started recently rereading the Artist's Way, and I've been doing morning Pages for the last 10 days. So that's three pages a morning. You write three.
Do you know by day five, I'd written an entire song in my morning pages. I was like, what is happening? What is happening right now?
It's just like, you just start flowing. You start peeling away all of the layers and the. That doesn't matter. And you get down to yourself. Present moment, connection. Boom.
Great. Highly recommend to anyone who's listening. Honestly, I read that book 25 years ago. Like, I read it when it first came out, and I was like, I don't know. I found the book and I'm like, do I want every.
[00:11:28] Speaker B: That was a seed. Like, a seed. You planted a seed 25 years ago.
[00:11:33] Speaker C: I'm like, here we go, let's go. I'm ready for it again. Or ready for it for the.
[00:11:37] Speaker B: Really, the first time you plant is like my feral strawberries out there, baby. I'm totally ignoring them, but they're still flowering and fruiting out there. Like, oh, yeah.
[00:11:45] Speaker C: You know, joy and float doesn't really need us. I mean, it would be great for us to engage with it, but nature's nature and it's not going to wait for us. No, you got to jump in and get connected.
[00:11:56] Speaker B: Jump in, jump in the line. Move your body in time.
So there is this question that I hear people, people, the general the people ask. It's like the question of what should I do with my life? And first of all, is the should in there for me, it's like, number one.
First of all, I don't really feel like it's a fair question question to ask ourselves. I think the better question is, when do I feel most like myself? When do I feel most alive?
Those are the things. Those are the markers. Those are the breadcrumbs that bring you closer to the joy that you're looking for outside of yourself.
[00:12:37] Speaker C: Yeah, those are the guide posts. There's so much information in that. Right? In just answering that, you're like, wait a minute, I want to be a circus performer. Like, whatever. I'm just saying, like, please, like, there's just. So what brings me joy? What lights me up?
What do I feel like I want to be doing?
[00:12:59] Speaker B: And my time that shifts us from, like, this achievement mindset to an awareness mindset, which is like, also inviting in curiosity. Like using curiosity as your compass. Like, oh, let me try this thing. Let's see what happens.
And tapping into how you feel or your energy in certain situations. That is information that you can use. And when we follow our.
Are they inklings, the whispers, the. The desires. Like that is the dreams and nudge information, like those are the breadcrumbs. That's where we should follow and lean into as much as we can.
[00:13:35] Speaker C: Yeah. All of those things, all those little messages and noticings and signs, all those things you're like, oh, wow, man, I really love, I don't know, ping pong. All of those things sort of lead us to something, give us information, as you said. And it's all important to notice and do more of that as a starting point. It doesn't have to be this big extreme. Like, I am going to find myself and I'm going to be joyful and alive, damn it.
[00:14:05] Speaker B: Right.
[00:14:05] Speaker C: It's just like noticing. It's noticing those little things. I think those are really powerful moments. And I think the curiosity, I love that curiosity is the compass because there is no right or wrong. I'm going to say that again. There is no right or wrong.
There are only choices and decisions and choosing towards things that light you up and bring you joy and where you lose yourself in hours and where you're super present.
Those things, that's your soul, spirit speaking to you fairly directly, I might say. Right? That's your soul speaking to you, going, yeah, this way, this is. Yeah, that. All of that leads you to, I don't know, purpose feels like such a lofty thing, right? People get so caught. I myself get caught up and I'm like, what is my purpose? Why am I here? But doing those little things that bring you joy, I really believe that ultimately, at the end of the day, our purpose is to be present and is to be connected to ourselves and to be love in physical form, like love as expression. Whatever that means for you. Whatever makes you feel love and joy.
Yeah, Follow that.
[00:15:24] Speaker B: That's a good transition to write something that makes me feel good, do something that lights me up.
[00:15:32] Speaker C: I was doing this in my kitchen just the other morning.
[00:15:34] Speaker B: Listen.
Explore. Reclaiming yourself.
Starts with remembering that despite or because of everything you've carried, survived, navigated and endured, you are still here.
There is still life left to live for you.
[00:15:52] Speaker C: Celebration in that.
[00:15:54] Speaker B: So on the celebratory note, this episode song is alive by Sia and honestly, right.
[00:16:02] Speaker C: I think music being such an emotional indicator and such a mover and an expression.
[00:16:09] Speaker B: Right.
[00:16:10] Speaker C: We all have songs that we connect to. So you can start there. Just put on your favorite song and listen and move. Right?
[00:16:17] Speaker B: Put on your favorite song, listen and move. That's it. All right. Let's dance.
[00:16:24] Speaker A: Check out this week's song on the yo podcast playlist on Spotify.
[00:16:33] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. Up and through this song, Thea was taking us everywhere. Oh, lo, that was good. So it is a whole. Thank you. Thank you, Sia.
[00:16:42] Speaker C: Thank you, Sia. That was the whole journey, from the depths to the arches.
[00:16:49] Speaker B: It's all part of the journey. Every, every. Every bit of it.
Well, well, well, friends.
Oh, explorers.
[00:16:58] Speaker C: Well, is there a question of the day?
[00:17:00] Speaker B: There is absolutely a question of the day.
Today's question. Is there an area of your life where you feel most like yourself, most alive?
[00:17:12] Speaker C: Yeah. And I'm just gonna pause before we answer and ask the explorers to really take that question in themselves, really take inventory, take note what comes up for you.
Because an area of your life, it doesn't have to be specific, right? Like, it doesn't have to be. We're not talking about a skipping down the street. It's like, are you happy with. Really happy with where you live or. You know what I mean? Like, I just think it can be anything, but it's important to take stock.
I know the answer. For me, I was just right in it. Well, it's creating and sharing through musical expression.
And because I've been working on this new project, it's just been happening so often, like mornings, dreams, every which way, they're coming out. And so that is my zone. That is my zone of genius. That is where I feel most alive. That is where I feel most connected with myself 1,000%.
[00:18:11] Speaker B: I love that.
I'm just thinking about my answer to this question now, which, of course, it's like an extension of that. So, yes, I feel most alive, like, when I am creating. But there's also the next level of that when I am sharing the thing that I've created, be it through speaking, participating in group. What? Like, I feel actually most alive in those spaces. Mind you, it still freaks me out a little bit. Like, a little bit of, ooh, anxiety that'll pop up. But it's like the good kind. The kind where I'm like, oh, this is me sharing some of the deepest, rawest, most truest parts of myself. And that extension of creativity in the giving of it, in the sharing of it, is where I feel most like myself.
[00:18:56] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a really great point. Right, because you can feel it in the act.
You could feel it in the sharing. Even better, you could feel it in the act of creation into the sharing. Right? Like, big picture. I think you make a really good point that it's the sharing of the creativity that just Brings it to the next level. I think that's awesome. Yeah.
[00:19:17] Speaker B: Yep. So, yeah, like Karen said, we are asking that you notice where the clues are in your life that your life is currently offering you those reminders, those breadcrumbs. Back to joy. And I was doing this episode and y' all almost completely forgot about doing a quote. Like, completely. It's like two minutes before I was like, oh, probably should find a quote for this episode. And thank goodness I found a quote from Helen Keller.
She said, joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.
[00:19:55] Speaker C: A holy fire.
[00:19:56] Speaker B: A holy fire.
[00:19:58] Speaker C: Yeah. I love that it's a holy fire. Get yourself in that fire.
[00:20:02] Speaker B: Explorer, you don't need to reinvent and overhaul your entire life. You just need to notice the moments where you breathe a little deeper, feel more energized and feel most like yourself. Aliveness. And the path back to joy isn't about something that you've lost. It's about waiting for you to come back to reconnect and notice it.
[00:20:28] Speaker C: Yeah, it's like we talk about the idea of remembering. It's like a reconnecting. It's peeling back the layers that have either consciously or unconsciously sort of gotten onto you and peeling it back and be like, wait a minute, what do I want? What is my dream? What is my soul telling me or directing me towards what brings me joy? How do I feel most alive?
And then respond accordingly.
[00:20:55] Speaker B: Yes, respond accordingly.
Until next time, Explorer. May you give yourself permission to follow the breadcrumbs of curiosity, connection and delight.
[00:21:06] Speaker C: Absolutely. We wish all of the joy and all of the love and all of the experience for you explorers.
Thank you for joining us. Take good care.
[00:21:20] Speaker D: Thank you to Queenies in downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for welcoming us so warmly. Each week we'd like to give a shout out to Cocoa Cinnamon, the birthplace of 1023 Media and the yo podcast. Please support your local women owned minority owned coffee shop in downtown Durham.
Brought to you by Durham based 1023 Media, a heart centered woman owned multimedia company.
Sam.
