Joy Isn't Frivolous

[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey Podcast, where your guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth. Each week we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way. Please note, this podcast should not replace medical care or advice. We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists. If you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions. So, explorers, let's dive into today's episode. [00:00:53] Speaker B: Hey explorers, it's Tara. [00:00:56] Speaker C: What's up? What's up? [00:00:58] Speaker B: Today, Karen and I are continuing our discussion on one of our favorite topics. We are talking about joy. [00:01:05] Speaker C: Deep, relentless joy. [00:01:07] Speaker B: The kind of joy that expands your chest, that reminds you that you are human and that there is more to life than just your calendar and your [00:01:17] Speaker C: task list to piggyback on. [00:01:20] Speaker B: Last week in thinking about this episode, this question came up for me. When did we start equating joy as something we had to justify? Why is it that we have to defend the things or we feel like we have to defend our fun or minimize the things that bring us joy? Why do we trust the overwhelm, the burnout, the exhaustion more than we trust joy, delight? [00:01:47] Speaker C: I feel like that is deeply embedded in our subconscious and in our culture of like, well, now it's time to grow up. Now it's time to get serious. Now it's time to be an adult. You know, I think age 7 or 8 is where you start absorbing like, oh, I guess it's supposed to be work. There's work involved here. I thought I was just playing. I thought I was just imagining and, you know, envisioning and oh, I guess that's not. Not really how it goes. [00:02:16] Speaker B: It should. It should not. That sounds. We don't want the workforce play later or like it's all together. [00:02:24] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, it's all together. That makes a good point because play is a great indicator. So if you're inviting play into your life daily, weekly, hourly, for crying out loud, then that's going to lead you there a lot quicker than just trying to intellectually, you know, cerebrally figure out, you know, know, where can I be joyful? How can I be joyful? Just start playing. [00:02:48] Speaker B: Like the message of like, grown ups or serious people do serious things. I know I have unconsciously taken that message of like, in order to be taken seriously, then it has to be, you know, very austere and serious. And it can't be playful or joyful. But some of the most fun is actually delivering some of the deepest joys. The fun is actually what we need versus being serious and stifled all the time. Like, there is balance for sure. I'm not saying, like, if you know, that's your personality and then more power to you. That's just not for me. Like, I'm a joy first. I am a. My productivity does not equal my worth type of woman. [00:03:33] Speaker C: Yeah. And joy is found, I think, in the. In the pursuit of playfulness. You know, I think that when we can remember to be playful and light and airy in whatever is facing us or coming to us, I think that really helps us sort of get back to, ah, I remember what's important. [00:03:50] Speaker B: It helps the joy bubble back up to the surface so we stop treating joy like this luxury instead of a need. [00:03:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:03:57] Speaker B: Is amazing to me how adults, how quickly we'll protect our obligations and how easily we'll cancel the things that are joyful for us. Like, we really know I have to do this thing. So, you know, that's just a little fun thing that can go. [00:04:14] Speaker C: Yeah. Okay, here's how it goes. Oxygen, water, play. Those three are integrally necessary. These things are. That is life, Right? Oxygen, water, Notice I'm not saying food next play, joyful play, curiosity, wonder. Then maybe some protein and then exercise. But I'm saying top three, top three. That's how necessary. [00:04:44] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. It is necessary because joy is the thing that really reminds us and helps us stay human. I think when we're all wrapped up in productivity and checking the things off the list, like, we become like these robots or these machines, when we are not machines. Like we were created to experience love and joy, two highest vibrations in the map of consciousness. Yes. There is something about tapping into joy. That is this rich nervous system nourishment, that connection to ourselves, that connection to God, that connection to each other. Like, that is how we are nourished. What is the quote? You can't wait. [00:05:32] Speaker C: You can't leave joy out of the recipe, is what you're saying. Like, it is so important to our wholeness, our wellness, our beingness. It's so important. [00:05:44] Speaker B: It's so important. But laughter is. Laughter is the best medicine. What you said about play. So it's like laughter and music and play and wonder and awe. Like, those things are regulation. Those things help regulate us. They remember watching how excited our dog would get when his people would come back around. And I was like, I want that. I want the people that I love to know that I am genuinely, truly happy to see them. So if I catch your Eye. And I do this big old Kool Aid smile. That's because I'm reminding you. Like, I am really happy that you are here. You didn't do anything but show up in the room. [00:06:21] Speaker C: But I'm happy. But it brings me such joy. [00:06:23] Speaker B: Right. [00:06:24] Speaker A: Like me. [00:06:24] Speaker B: Such joy. [00:06:26] Speaker C: I love that image of just, like humans just running around in circles around the people that they love. I'm here. I believe you're here. You know, like, running. Running hard. [00:06:35] Speaker B: Yeah. Because we were not designed to live in this constant state of pressure where our bodies are always unsafe. Like, it's never safe enough to soften, to just be. To breathe. Yeah, that. That's not it. [00:06:52] Speaker C: We are. And we are designed to be connected with others. Listen, this is from a recovering introvert. Like, this is like me realizing. Recovering introvert that actually do need people and that it's everything. Right? Connection. And it's just everything. [00:07:11] Speaker B: So I know one of our end of year episodes. It could have been last year. It could have been two years ago. I have no idea is in the past about the joy inventory. So I want to revisit that a little bit because I think we did it as, like, a year end reflection. But I don't want us to think, like, the only time you can do it is, like, at the end of the year as you're preparing for a new year. It's like every day, every gratitude. Not the advanced class gratitude that we've established, firmly established, that Karen participates in, but like, a joy inventory of, like, what is one thing that I'm not gonna not do that I have to. Like, I could be doing the exact same thing, but the way that I talk about it, you would never know. I know a joy inventory of those things. Like, what's one thing that lit me up today? Or one place where I felt most al. Most myself. And, like, keep those running lists of things so you can, like, lean into that on the times that the joy is. Joy's far. [00:08:10] Speaker C: When it's in the distance, you're like, wait, what was that thing again? One. One thing Every night before bed. What was the thing that brought me the most joy today? Boom. Write it down. Call it your joy journal, something journal. [00:08:23] Speaker B: Isn't that our blog? [00:08:24] Speaker C: Joy journal? [00:08:25] Speaker B: Your odyssey journal. I don't know. So it could look like, why are we so scattered right now? It could look like, you know, I had coffee with my friend today. Or what you said was that this episode about, like, the birds in the morning or watching your kids laugh or sitting on the front porch with A because it's North Carolina and we almost at summer with a breeze. Like when the breeze like that. [00:08:48] Speaker C: Oh yeah, watching your puppy, whatever it is, man, like the ridiculous animals are ridiculous. [00:08:52] Speaker B: The little things like all of those warm mug of tea in the morning. [00:08:57] Speaker C: Like yeah, don't, don't let that go by. Just pause. It takes what, five seconds? [00:09:02] Speaker B: Not even that. Small moments, big impact. [00:09:05] Speaker C: Small moments, big impact. Bam. She said it so true. [00:09:11] Speaker B: And like when we do that like joy becomes more than just like a self care practice checklist. It becomes the way that we resist all of the things that is the way that we resist the hustle culture, the productivity equals worth that holds it. Like that's how we. I don't want to say fight back because I don't really want to be fighting, but that's how we invite and balance in harmony. [00:09:35] Speaker C: That's how we invite in balance and [00:09:37] Speaker B: harmony, fight in balance and harmony. And we often postpone our joy. Like we say once the kids are older or once this hard season is done, once work slows down, it's like [00:09:51] Speaker C: baby, baby, I knew she was saying [00:09:55] Speaker B: now counts as well. Like you don't have to wait until everything is all neat and tidy because they probably won't ever get knee and tidy. Then you just joyless. [00:10:06] Speaker C: You know what will wait though? That list, that workflow, that thing. It can wait. [00:10:12] Speaker B: We await. [00:10:13] Speaker C: It can wait. It will be there when you get back. [00:10:16] Speaker B: I remember when we were talking about joy is that emotion, that feeling, that state of being, being that can coexist with other things. So joy can coexist with difficulty. Joy can coexist with reach even. Oh yes, right, Absolutely. Because joy isn't asking you to deny what's real. It's not asking you to live in La La land. It is expanding what's possible for you right now. [00:10:43] Speaker C: It's asking you to notice that it can be both and right. It's asking you to notice that it's here for you no matter what, no matter when, no matter where. [00:10:54] Speaker B: Love, the image of Joy being here for you no matter what. [00:10:58] Speaker C: I'm picturing the movie with the emotions inside out, inside out. I'm pictured inside out Joy, like just imagine her, right? Like your version of that whatever, animated, I don't know, animal, whatever it is, imagine them like literally velcroed to you. Like they're like, I'm here. What do you need? I'm here. What do you want to do? You want to play? You want to play? Let's do it. Should I get the Pencils. Let me go get the colored pencils. Whatever. You know, should we go for a walk? Oh, my gosh. Did you see that sunset? Like, it was a running voice in your head was constantly that joy reminder. [00:11:27] Speaker B: Oh, yes. Because this joy, it's not proof that our life is easy. It's not proof that it's sunshine and rainbows. It's proof that it's bigger than whatever it is that's going on around you right now. Whatever it is. [00:11:39] Speaker C: Yep. [00:11:40] Speaker B: Preach. [00:11:40] Speaker C: It's always there. She's right there. Like, he. [00:11:42] Speaker B: Or she's right there. Like, she's always, like, even in the thunderstorm. [00:11:46] Speaker C: Right. [00:11:47] Speaker B: Listen. Oh, what was it last week here? It was super rainy. I wasn't here, but I was like, I'm so glad it's raining, because now the garden that is left to a floor. Exactly. It's getting water. And we were in a drought, so we needed the rain. [00:12:01] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. It's like, there is joy in the rain. There's joy in all the things. There's joy even in the complicated, challenging messes, because that's where we grow. So that's like a joyful concept. Like, oh, my gosh, I'm growing. What can I learn from this? How can I love myself through this little growth state? How can I stretch with that? Right. How can I stretch with this thing and also notice the joy in it? [00:12:27] Speaker B: Notice the joy in it. Well, I've got nothing else. I don't even know. [00:12:34] Speaker C: I have no idea where we're at. Like, yeah. Is there anything else that we want to share about Joy? [00:12:39] Speaker B: I think we did it. [00:12:41] Speaker C: I think we did it. [00:12:42] Speaker B: Bye, George. We've done it. All right. [00:12:43] Speaker C: Get your little animated Joy character. [00:12:45] Speaker B: Get your little animated Joy character. This song, Karen's gonna love it because it's a gospel song, and it's giving very much gospel church vibes. It's gonna be some. What is it? [00:12:55] Speaker C: Go to church. Let's go to church. Let's do it. I can't. I can't. I want to be in it. [00:13:02] Speaker B: Joy doesn't wait for things to be perfect. Joy is not perfect. Present only after the problems are solved. Because joy has never been dependent on perfect circumstances. Joy is the decision to remain open to goodness while life is still. [00:13:17] Speaker C: Life in Joy is a choice, right? Joy is a choice. Joy is a noticing. Yeah. [00:13:23] Speaker B: And this week's song is Joy by Voices of Fire. [00:13:30] Speaker A: Check out this week's song on the YO Podcast playlist on Spotify. [00:13:40] Speaker C: Dang wang. Dang doodle. Oh, man. Listen, the thing what happened for me is I pictured our live speaking tour event where we just do something like that where you just keep building and you can just one more joy. And we don't response and just like the band is jamming and we're just like [00:14:04] Speaker B: that. I turned into an old school Southern Baptist church mother at the park. When we break like you. Oh yeah, look, it's like you gotta clap. [00:14:16] Speaker C: It was so good. [00:14:20] Speaker B: I'm out of breath. I'm just like what? [00:14:22] Speaker C: I just, I'm just jumping around. [00:14:24] Speaker B: Yes. Inviting it Come through Joy. Before if you are ever in a [00:14:32] Speaker C: mood or and you need a little, [00:14:34] Speaker B: little something something you need to attach [00:14:36] Speaker C: the jumper cables to the little little [00:14:40] Speaker B: injection and this song voices of Fire come through because Voices of fire. I ain't never. [00:14:49] Speaker C: I ain't never. [00:14:53] Speaker B: Are we good? Are we ready? [00:14:55] Speaker C: Oh my God, I feel like I need to smoke a cigarette right now. Like embodied. [00:15:00] Speaker B: There's nothing after that. After you have did the Joy chance explosion dance chant. Yeah, there's nothing left to do after that. But we do actually have a little bit more of the podcast. So it's time for today's question here. [00:15:13] Speaker C: It better not. Bring me down, sister. [00:15:15] Speaker B: Bring you down. It's forward looking. So today's question is what changes when joy doesn't need justification? Please go back and listen to this song. [00:15:28] Speaker C: I mean besides everything. [00:15:30] Speaker B: When joy doesn't need justification, when it don't need you. Defend it, explain it, earn it, prove it. [00:15:37] Speaker C: It just is for the sake of. It is. [00:15:40] Speaker B: Yeah. So that is the answer. What changes you enjoy doesn't need justification. Everything. [00:15:44] Speaker C: Everything. [00:15:45] Speaker B: Period. [00:15:46] Speaker C: Everything. Boom. This brings you right here, right now. Open to joy. Yeah. [00:15:54] Speaker B: So this has been great. We are just going to keep riding on for the song that we just danced our hearts and souls to. The quote for this episode, Karen, you were alluding to it when you were giving us the ranking of joy. This quote is from Maya Angelou. We need joy as we need air. We need love as we need water. We need each other as we need the earth we share. [00:16:21] Speaker C: That is not the quote you picked for today. [00:16:23] Speaker B: It is. [00:16:27] Speaker C: That is hilarious. [00:16:28] Speaker B: Joy is. We need air that we need. [00:16:31] Speaker C: We need the air. We need it. Essential. It is essential. Joy is essential. It is non negotiable. Find it, bring it, lift it, unearth it. Whatever you gotta do, connect to it. Reattach. [00:16:46] Speaker B: Yes, do all of that. Because joy isn't getting in the way of your healing. It's not delaying your healing. It is a part of it. Joy isn't a distraction from your work. It is the fuel for it. So this week pay attention to those moments of joy to what reminds you that you are more than what you produce, more than what you consume. Joy isn't frivolous and neither are you joking. [00:17:13] Speaker C: I can't even. [00:17:14] Speaker B: Yeah, there's nothing I so till next time Explorer. Make room for joy without needing to justify it because it is proof that your heart is still open enough to experience it. [00:17:28] Speaker C: Joy explosion without justification. That's what we wish for you. Enjoy your joy, know that you are loved and take good care. Friends. [00:17:40] Speaker D: Thank you to Queenies in Downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for welcoming us so warmly each week. We'd like to give a shout out to Coco Cinnamon, the birthplace of 1023 Media and the yo podcast. Please support your local women owned minority owned coffee shop in Downtown Durham. Brought to you by Durham based 1023 Media, a heart centered woman owned multimedia company.