Choose Happiness, Choose You: Creating a Life That Feels Like Yours

[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey podcast, where your guides, Tara and Karen, invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth. Each week, we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way. Please note, this podcast should not replace medical care or advice. We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists. If you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions. So, explorers, let's dive into today's episode. Hey, explorers, it's Tara. Karen and I are so excited that you press play. Today we are joined by an amazing guest, and I cannot wait for you to hear everything that she has to share with you. We have been exploring this month about returning to ourselves, and we could not think of a more perfect example of what it means to live your life authentically, with courage and with joy. So, without further ado, I introduce you to our guest for this episode, Lorraine. Hello, everyone. [00:01:28] Speaker B: I'm Lorraine Toth, and I'm so excited to be here. [00:01:32] Speaker C: So happy to have you here. [00:01:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:34] Speaker C: A little quick backstory. Lorraine and I met last March in Costa Rica during an amazing retreat down there led by Patricia Chica. And Lorraine was not only an attendee, but you were offering a service, or did I? That's not the right thing to call it. And I'm like, that's another. That's another. That's something at JCPenneys, for crying out loud. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. But you were the photographer there. I was. And you captured so many beautiful photographs. And so that is where we met, and that is where we connected. I feel like towards the end of the week, we really connected energetically and decided to stay in touch. You had me on your podcast months back. I'm so excited that you're here because you have been such a shining example of choosing happiness, of creating your life. [00:02:24] Speaker B: Yes. [00:02:24] Speaker C: And. And rolling with circumstances and taking a risk even when it felt scary and you didn't know where the hell it was going to lead. [00:02:32] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:02:32] Speaker C: Do I have that right? [00:02:34] Speaker B: You do have that 100% right. You and I connected because we were into the woo, in the energy. And I will never forget, you taught me how to clear my energy and put up a shield, and I use that skill daily. So thank you. [00:02:47] Speaker C: You're so welcome. It's my honor. I'm always. You know, and it's funny because I was kind of. It was a spiritual retreat. I mean, it was in a spiritual place, and. And I know it was for actors and. And People in sort of the industry, film and TV industry. And somehow I ended up there. And anyway, whenever I go somewhere and it's a smaller setting of people, like, I can just, I can feel I'm like, oh, yep, they're. Yep, they're my. Yep, they're my people. They're my people. And so there was a handful of select people and you were definitely, you were definitely in it, man. And I just love your energy too. Your joy is just palpable and contagious. [00:03:24] Speaker B: Well, thank you. We. We're in the tribe. The joy. [00:03:27] Speaker C: We're in the tribe. Yep. [00:03:28] Speaker A: In the Joy tribe. I love that. So, Karen, in your intro for Lorraine, you said a little bit about living her life in alignment and choosing joy. So I guess that's where we're start for this episode. What happens in the before times? Before you chose to live your life this openly and joyfully? Like, what was it like when you were living against that? Like when that moment right before you realized your life doesn't quite fit you anymore. Can you walk us through that? [00:04:00] Speaker B: I can walk you through that. So that was me last November, December. I was living at my home in New York, which is a huge four bedroom, three bath home. And it felt like constricting. It felt like squeezing the life out of me. I was depressed, I was overweight. I was 25 pounds heavier than I am now. To give you an idea. I didn't want to leave the house. I had no motivation. I lost all of my creative abilities and I was just in a dark place and I knew it was no longer working for me. I was also settling on my values at that point in a relationship where the person I wanted to marry and to have a life with and grow with didn't want that formal commitment. So I was kind of sacrificing my goals to appease them. So I was basically putting myself in a box that I shouldn't. And I as the Sagittarius in full. Yeah, I should never be in a box. So I was like, okay, I cannot do this anymore. Come January, I put my house on the market to rent it, found the perfect tenant, which I manifested and then packed up my home. [00:05:05] Speaker C: Yeah, you did? Yes. [00:05:06] Speaker B: I took my little 16 foot Airstream, which is an RV, and January 31st [00:05:12] Speaker C: I moved to Florida. And that's how you do it. [00:05:15] Speaker B: And that's how you do it. [00:05:16] Speaker C: Oh, my God. What on earth? Yes. Like you have to get to such a point of just feeling so fed up and frustrated, even angry, like, what? This is not my Life, like, just so to be able to just make that decision, be like, no more. Yes, this is. This is it. No more. Yeah, I choose me. [00:05:36] Speaker B: Exactly. And that's what I did. I chose me. And absolutely. It's scary to choose yourself when you've got that familiar there and to completely upheave your life. But I now, six months in, feel so much better than I did there. [00:05:51] Speaker C: It's clearly serving you right. You're just absolutely glowing. Your creativity's off the charts. I saw that you have art in an art gallery showing. You're obviously back to the podcast. You look amazing. You've shed whatever weight was sort of weighing you down, literally, and holding you back. And, man, that is just such a beautiful example of what can happen when you take that first step, that risk that you know is pulling you, but is scary af. [00:06:19] Speaker B: It is. Yeah. But it's staying in that box and staying stuck is scary, too. [00:06:25] Speaker C: So much scarier, in fact. Wow. I didn't realize you were Sagittarius. I'm also now I'm in the middle [00:06:31] Speaker A: of two Sagittarius women on the call. Okay, sure. [00:06:34] Speaker B: You're going to have to ground us. [00:06:36] Speaker A: Come on, guys, bring us back. Think about your life. And before deciding, this relationship is not working out for me, I need to change that. Like, were there moments, looking back now that your body and your spirit, or your spirit was informing your body that this is not working before your mind caught up? [00:06:54] Speaker B: Yes. So your body definitely talks, and it gives you the clues, and it's up to you to listen. And for me, it was just. I was extremely inflamed. I had no motivation to go to the gym. I just wanted to stay home and eat and just be a vegetable. All I wanted to do was lay on the couch. That's all I had energy for. I didn't have energy to write again, to paint again, to go to the gym. Nothing. And it was just like existing. It wasn't living. It was just existing. [00:07:22] Speaker C: Sometimes that creeps in very slowly over years, right? But sometimes you are just hit with something. Like all of that was coming together in November and December, and you were just. It was like you were protecting yourself. Right? Cocooning. Because you're like, I know this is not right, but what is right? Like a detachment from self. There are clues. You know, there are clues. There's a nudge, there's a voice. And sometimes we're moving so fast that we either don't hear it or choose to ignore it. And then it'll. It'll. It'll come back around. [00:07:53] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah, it keeps knocking. And disease equals disease. Right? You know, my asthma kicked in. I couldn't breathe again. You just feel off. And that's your body talking to you. It's a teacher. It's a red flag. It's like, hey, you're not listening to me. You're not paying attention to me. I'm trying to tell you this is not how it's supposed to be. Right. [00:08:14] Speaker C: Right. It's really saying, like, you're not loving yourself. Like, I love you. Like, the universe is like, you are more than this. You are loved, you are worthy, you are better than this. And I'm going to try to help you realize that. [00:08:28] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:30] Speaker A: I don't. [00:08:31] Speaker C: Personally, I don't know. [00:08:32] Speaker A: Yeah, it's just like, I don't know why. When you said that, like, I just saw this little blur. We went to go see Spider man on Wednesday and there was this clip of, like, spiders molting. There becomes a point in your life like. Or you think like hermit crab, like, where the shell and the life that you've insulated yourself with is not enough anymore. Like, you've outgrown that space. And the hope is, you know, you get to it before, like, your body starts bumping up against the edges of your life. Lorraine, you said a little bit about you manifested your tenant. What was that like? What was the shift from December to January and that return back to yourself? [00:09:11] Speaker B: Yes. So in manifesting and bringing about my ideal tenant to pay my rent, and also for me, I owned my home for 12 years. At that point, I was living in it. You're trusting someone else to move into your home and take care of it like you did. So I knew I needed that ideal tenant to care for it. And so November, December, I was in that anxiety, like, constricted mode. And then I shifted into just trusting and knowing that the perfect tenant was coming. And they did. And I knew instantly when I took that call. I could hear the vibration. I could feel it. It was aligned. I'm like, she's the one. And sure enough, she was. And it's been fantastic. You know, my first six months as a landlord, it's like, wow, I'm so glad I trusted it and said no to the other people before that didn't feel aligned. [00:10:01] Speaker C: Yeah, right. I think that's the biggest piece of, well, self trust, too. But trusting life, sort of trusting the things that are always working out for your highest good is just releasing control, like surrendering to allowing and knowing and trusting and really believing like, this is going to work out, best case scenario, you know, and you really just. That's what you focus on. [00:10:24] Speaker B: And in the minute you get that anxious energy, it's just going to constrict everything. Yeah. You have to allow. Yeah, yeah. [00:10:33] Speaker A: And they're in that allowance, like the shift to be more expansive, to like actually ask for and call down what you want. Like, you've made room in your life for the things that you get to do now for the return of your creativity. Like from New York all the way down to Florida. [00:10:49] Speaker C: Are you in the Keys? [00:10:51] Speaker B: I'm close to the Keys, yeah. [00:10:53] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, wow. Yes. [00:10:56] Speaker A: So in this space now, do you find yourself that you've stopped saying yes to things out of obligation and you really are listening inward and outward to the universe, that difference in your life. Do you recognize that now? [00:11:08] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. The minute I say yes and. Or I have that idea where I commit to it, it just. The reassurance comes in. Like I talk to the right person or I make that right connection, or I feel better. Like my body feels so much better by saying yes to myself. And, and another thing is when I moved here, I took a job remotely in January, signed up for a job, a full time 9 to 5 job, which we all know is not me. But anyway, so I did the job for five months and every day I would go in, I'm like, this, this doesn't feel good. Like, I was like not breathing. So I quit the job and I'm like, no. So to your point, I said no to that. I'm like, this does not work for me. I'm gonna say no. Trust that something better is coming. So that's where I'm at. [00:11:54] Speaker C: I love that, taking that risk. Because clearly when you move to a new location, you don't have maybe contacts, you don't have maybe an income. Obviously you had a tenant paying for your house. But you know, you can panic and be like, let me just take the first thing that is gonna be able to help me feel like I can breathe and pay my bills and like there's so much more going on than that. Like, it's so much bigger than we know. Like so much of our life and our experience and the possibilities off the radar of what we can see on that tiny screen. And so we have to trust that it's rolling, it's coming, it's rolling through. And so I think that's amazing that you did that. And then you're like, nope, still doesn't feel good. And you listen to It. And then boom. Like what? The last two months have been just like, boom, boom. [00:12:40] Speaker B: And again, once you, you're opening yourself up to more possibilities, more things are coming in. Like, I get the gallery in Naples with my art. I developed an app two days ago that I've been thinking about for years. So, like, by saying yes to yourself and no to things that no longer serve you, you're just going to open up your possibilities. Yeah. [00:12:59] Speaker C: And there's a right, so there's that layer of. It's bravery, it's courage to take that risk, to believe so wholeheartedly, to trust so wholeheartedly that you just know it's gonna work out. Like, you know, I'm sure there are explorers listening, going, absolutely not. Yes. Like, what on earth are you talking about? Right? Like, I, I get it. Like, I feel that. But there comes a point where you have to take that risk, you have to take that step, that leap so that you can see that there is a safety net, that you are cared for. Right. And that things are working out, you know, for your highest good. [00:13:34] Speaker A: And to that point, Karen and I always talk about the other side of that. So, Lorraine, people may look at you and see someone who is adventurous and courageous and centered and joyful, but is there a side or the part that they don't see? Like, I know for me in my life, people see this person, as Karen said before we started recording with this high executive functioning and doing all of these things, and I'm like, and then there's doubt in the chronic over planner. So what is the other side of that for you in this choosing yourself and being in alignment with the universe, what is it that people don't see? So in case someone is like, I chose joy and I feel horrible. So you don't feel like they're the only one in that. [00:14:10] Speaker B: Oh gosh, I can totally speak on that. So I moved here to Florida not knowing anyone making that leap and then sitting in my 16 foot home now, alone, completely, no one to talk to. But I chose to sit with that unknowing. I chose to sit with that discomfort because then I got to know myself. You're talking to your skeletons in the closet. Really tapping into, okay, what do I need? This phase is about me and what is going to bring me joy. But with that, yeah, I was definitely like, alone, very lonely and all you've got is your own thoughts. But journaling helps. Every single day I would journal and I could see the trajectory in my journal. I started out really like, oh, I'm so sad what I'm gonna do today. And now it's like, you know, I'm okay being alone. I'm okay going to the restaurants by myself. It's okay. I don't know anyone. I'm gonna meet some people. So there's definitely that dark season. Yeah. But again, you're telling yourself you matter by staying in alignment with your dreams. Whereas back November, December, Lorraine, she was compromising her goals and dreams, and that was just even more suffocating and lonely. So choose you and then show that you matter. Right. And that your dreams matter. Don't. You don't have to compromise [00:15:26] Speaker C: showing up for yourself and choosing you as the primary relationship in your life because the other relationships will follow. Right. But if you're choosing you and focusing on your heart, you know what you desire, your vision, your goals, your dreams, there is a lot to be said for that and the momentum that comes from that. [00:15:44] Speaker B: And, Tara, for your listeners, you're like, I did this and it feels horrible. Yes, it felt horrible. The first three months, I was a complete hermit. Like, I stayed in, I was alone. And now I've gotten to the point, okay, six months in, I'm like, I'm going out, I'm meeting people, I'm doing things. But I consciously chose not to have the crutches. Like, I stop drinking alcohol in 2024. I chose consciously not to get on the dating apps. I chose not to waste my energy on things that were not aligned. So, like, you consciously choose not to have those crutches and cover up that pain phase and just hit it head on, like you're going to grow. [00:16:21] Speaker A: That just reminds me of, I think it's like a Native American proverb how the. The bison or water buffalo, they head into the storm because if you're running from it, the storm will always catch up to you and you're always in the storm. But what you were saying is, I'm going to face it, I'm going to be here, and the gr. Morning, a relationship, the version of yourself, whatever that is. And like, I feel like when we do that, like the bison, like, we get through it a lot quicker. Like, it won't take as long because we're not running away from the things that cause us a little discomfort or pain. [00:16:49] Speaker B: Yes. And I got massive goosebumps when you were talking about the bison. That is a great analogy. [00:16:54] Speaker C: Yeah, that analogy was killer, Tara. Killer. It's so true. And I was thinking, too, that one of my mentors said recently, like, when you're on the Edge of growth, and especially, like major growth and leaps, it's uncomfortable as hell. Like, it is uncomfortable for a reason, because most people, some people maybe will turn back from it. Right. But if you can hang there and if you could stay there and work through that discomfort, you will get to the other side of it, and that's where growth happens. On the other side of that discomfort. [00:17:24] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah. So keep going to the listeners. Right? Like, don't. [00:17:28] Speaker A: Yes. [00:17:28] Speaker B: Yeah. It will be uncomfortable. [00:17:30] Speaker A: So, Lorraine, what surprises you most about this version of yourself, the one that is choosing her happiness and joy? See what I did there? Leaning into her life this way, it's so empowering. [00:17:43] Speaker B: So every day I'm like, oh, my gosh, I didn't need a man. I can do this on my own. I've learned RV plumbing. Never in a million years would I have thought, oh, this girl knows how to do plumbing on an rv. And, like, things that I'm learning, you know, even as simple as hooking up my hammock to two palm trees by challenging myself. It's so empowering. So this phase, the thing that's just lit me up is I can do this on my own. I don't need anyone. So it's kind of shifted from I need a partner to I want a partner, which is a great flip. [00:18:18] Speaker C: Absolutely. [00:18:19] Speaker A: I get goosebumps when you said that, because I see, like, the law of attraction, so to speak. Like, the person who gets the privilege of being your partner, he's going to be completely different. Like, or she or whatever. I don't know, whatever you feeling. [00:18:33] Speaker C: Whoever that person is. [00:18:34] Speaker A: Whoever that person is. But I'm like, what they. They will bring into your life will be a compliment and not a hindrance or a trap, even. [00:18:43] Speaker C: Yeah, right, Absolutely. It'll accentuate what you have going on. It'll be very, you know, begin. [00:18:48] Speaker A: Yang. [00:18:48] Speaker C: It'll work better, and it'll be a completely different person, like you said, Tara, than it would have been six, eight months ago, a year ago, five years ago, whatever. [00:18:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:55] Speaker C: Because you're a different person. And coming from a place of desire and vision as opposed to need, desperation and lack is so much healthier. But that's how you're going to call it in anyway, right? [00:19:08] Speaker B: That's how you attract your equal. Yeah. [00:19:10] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. She is empowered, y'. All. [00:19:13] Speaker C: I know. [00:19:16] Speaker A: So in your data layer, you were talking about the progress of your journaling from the beginning to where you are now. And do you find that joy is more your compass or the byproduct of Your life living in alignment. [00:19:32] Speaker B: Kind of both. I see as I look back on when I first got here to now, I'm like, okay, I can see that I'm more engaged and more empowered. And like, I'm like, oh, today I'm designing an app. Or today I interviewed three podcast guests. Or today I wrote part of my next book. Whereas the January February me was like, I'm just trying to get through the day, you know, and find my way around here and maybe go get some food. Then to now where it's like, I went to the gym today. Like, every single day now I exercise. Either it's going to the gym or for a sunset bike ride. Like, I have the energy to get out. So I see that trajectory in my diary. [00:20:17] Speaker A: Honestly, a sunset bike ride in Naples sounds like this side of heaven. Like, that sounds actually really amazing. [00:20:24] Speaker C: I hope they have a. I don't know what you call tandem. Tara and I are coming. Okay, we're gonna sunset bike with you because that sounds amazing. [00:20:32] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Please. I would love to. [00:20:37] Speaker A: I want to remind our listeners, we talk about being in flow versus being in resistance to or out of alignment in your life. But we're not saying alignment is this perfect life. But I believe, and I could feel like I could speak for both Karen and Lorraine, alignment is a way of living. It's a way of not noticing when the resistance comes up, what's out of alignment. And like I said earlier, do it a little bit more quickly. [00:21:01] Speaker C: To your point about joy, like, joy, you want to always lean toward or. Or move toward joy. Right? Joy. Things that bring you joy are guideposts to your ideal life, like you being all of who you are. So if you're finding that you don't find joy in maybe the. Maybe the community that you're keeping, you don't find joy in the job that you're. You're in right now. You know, pay attention and start maybe journaling about what does bring you joy, because that's going to bring you closer to really that aligned life. And you'll be much more aware of when you get. As you said, when you get pulled slightly out of that, you'll be like, no, if it's. If it's not a full body. Yes, joy. I'm like, I don't think so. [00:21:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:21:46] Speaker A: So my question was, like, how do you guide someone to the difference between just the discomfort of growth and outside of your comfort zone versus actually being out of alignment? [00:21:57] Speaker B: How do. Do they feel when they're out of alignment? Kind of thing. Yeah, that's great. So when you're out of alignment, you feel like, constricted. So maybe your breathing is shallow and short. Maybe you get the headache. Maybe you're just tired at the end of the day and you don't feel like you have energy to even read a book, you know, like, as simple as that. You just want to stay in, go to sleep and maybe have some comfort food. When you're in alignment, it's the opposite. You have those big open breaths. You're excited about the day. You hop out of bed. Like, I going to conquer the world. And for me, I get those champagne kind of bubbly. Goosebumps is what I call it. And that means I'm in alignment. Like, this is a yes. My body's telling me yes. This is something you're supposed to do. And I now have the excitement to get out of bed and be like, I am going to do this, this and this today and make that checklist and actually check off all the things that I wanted to do that day. Whereas when you're not in alignment, you're like just getting by. It is Groundhog Day. You are like happy just to make it through your eight hour work day and just go to sleep. Like, there is not room for anything else. When you're not in alignment, there's not [00:23:04] Speaker A: room for anything else. Yeah, that's a sound bite. Karen, remember when we used to say, like early in our podcast days, goosebumping, like everything for us was goosebumping. That means we're on the right path. I love that. [00:23:17] Speaker C: Yeah, that's definitely been our calibration. We're like, oh, that was goosebumps. Yep. That's a yes. I love that we've talked about this, us, right? That our body is receiver, like, you know, and our really, our minds are the receiver. And we are ever and always putting out vibration. If we are putting out vibration, it's like, I'm miserable, I'm not fulfilled. I don't know my purpose. I feel unappreciated. Any of those things that really sort of weigh down, that's what we're projecting and that's what the universe is going to be like. Oh, yeah, you are seeing. See, look, here's this. Oh, yeah, see, look. Yeah. So it's like taking that leap to the things that bring you joy, the things that you desire and want for your life, even if it feels ridiculous. [00:24:04] Speaker B: Yes. [00:24:04] Speaker C: Whatever it is that lights you up when you just sit with yourself and you're like, ooh, what is the thing I want. Oh, I would love to finger paint for a living. Whatever it is that lights you up, that's something to move towards because you're going to start to listen and you're going to start to get confirmation from the universe. You're going to start to transmit a different frequency and that's going to bring you to new experiences. I don't know how else to say it, but that's the truth. At the end of the day, what we are putting out is what's coming back to us. So if we can consciously be aware of that, and I mean that in terms of thoughts, words, the people that we're hanging around, the things that we think are possible or not possible, if we can watch that, become aware of it, and consciously choose our thoughts and words and consciously calibrate to that vibration of joy, man, things will shift. [00:24:57] Speaker B: They do. It's law of attraction. And as a Reiki master, you know, I'm someone who has the training and energy and I know you do as well, Karen. It's like it's a totally different frequency. Like you said, the old me, I was just kind of closed off. The energy wasn't expansive, it wasn't open. And now I wrote in my journal, it's like my, my cab light is turned back on, which is a sex in the city analogy. She's like, my light's back on. So as soon as my light was back on, open for service, kind of like, you know, I'm ready, people started talking to me. Out of the blue, opportunities came to me. So I could tell my frequency shifted, right? [00:25:34] Speaker C: Like you could feel from within. But you can start to see the evidence of it. The evidence, thank you. That's the word I was looking for. See the evidence of it. It starts to come and you're like, oh, okay, hi. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I imagine there is a level of loyalty to yourself and self trust and manifesting the life that you want and choosing to say in alignment and open to the universe, if someone is listening. What advice would you give her if she was afraid to trust herself? What advice you would even give old Lorraine? What would you tell her? [00:26:09] Speaker B: I would tell her, okay, think of you in six months because I feel like that's a really good time to flip it. What does future you want to feel? How does she want her life to look? And I would say write that down because writing it down is 42% more likely to happen just by writing it down. Pen and paper people. So I would tell her to write out her future dream life and then consciously put her thoughts and herself in that the future her. If don't stay in that stuck current state of negative vibrations, talk to that future woman. And looking back, you're going to be so proud of the person you became. So she has to forward think her way into that alignment of the future her. [00:26:57] Speaker C: Right. That's such good advice. That's how you call it in doing that sort of forecasting and really viscerally hear and feel and see. Experience as best you can in a sensory way what that life is like. What is it like for me to feel like, oh my God, every day is like sunshine and I'm going out and exercising every day. What does that feel like? But think about that project, be in that future person. Experience that because that raises your vibration and then that's what's attracted to you. Absolutely. [00:27:27] Speaker B: I would all. Yeah. I would also tell her to journal while she's in it because there's so much power in vomiting it onto the page, getting it out of your head and onto the page age. And then it's also good to look back and reflect, oh, wow, look how dark it was six months ago. And look how much I've grown. There's so much power in being able to go back and see what you were thinking. So I am huge on journaling your thoughts daily. [00:27:52] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got back into it. I started reading the Artist's Way again and I was like, I'm gonna do these morning page. So I'm doing at least three pages a day. Sometimes it's not in the morning, but I've done a lot of that future casting. And I'm like, oh my God, I see it and I feel it and I'm just writing as if I'm there already. And then sometimes I'll even go back and read that because sometimes it's really powerful. Like whatever comes out, it's just. [00:28:19] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think there is something beautiful too. Like we talk about the life that you're living, like being the current evidence. But like, I remember the toxic work environment that I was in and. But. But choosing to go through Brianna Weiss's pivot year and the things that I wrote in the beginning of that. So it's like past evidence of like, it. Look how far you've actually come. Yes. The life that you are living now is vastly different than what it was before. And if you can do this in this amount of time, then anything is possible. You don't have to stay here in that space. So I love journaling Getting it out, like you said, out of your own head. I'm like, if I'm always in my head, my voice is the only voice that I hear. And, like, that's not. That is not enough to get you to the next level or the next version and of yourself. [00:29:03] Speaker B: So I love that she just love going back and looking at old year and being like, wow, girl. [00:29:07] Speaker A: And also, who was that? Like, who is she? Like, I don't barely recognize her now. Like, oh, that's a stranger. Thank you. [00:29:13] Speaker C: Bless your heart for having the vision and staying in it, because, like, whoa. There's some dark times. Yeah. For sure. [00:29:21] Speaker B: Congrats. [00:29:24] Speaker C: Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. So good. Oh. Choosing yourself requires remembering who you are, requires loving yourself enough to know that you know what's best for you. It's about listening and being connected to your body and allowing that to then light up your heart, right? To propel you towards the things that you really want in your life and to the person who you really are that you're starting to remember. It's that feeling of coming home that we talk about. The returning to yourself is like. Is the ultimate joy, in my opinion. So. And it doesn't have to require huge momentous steps, right? Especially at first. It's in the small choices, the small moments, right? That, like, it's just like this day saying, you know what? What? Instead of sitting here and just binge watching that, I'm gonna go out for a walk. I'm gonna look up at the sky, half hour, whatever it is. It's just in that one little choice. Listen, I binge watch with the best of them, and I am. [00:30:27] Speaker A: There's a time and place for binge watching. [00:30:29] Speaker C: Be clear. I am not dismissing that, because I could not be more pumped about watching Ted Lasso with my son tonight. The new season's out. But my point is. Oh, that's hilarious. That I got. That does bring me joy. Like, sitting with my son. He's almost 14, and he's a soccer player, and, like, I turned him on to Ted Lasso. Like, a year ago. We would watch it, and we laugh till we cry and we have our favorite characters and we quote it, and I'm like, that brings me joy. That might seem small to somebody, but that is awesome for me to quote, right, Kent? I guess what I'm saying is, like, I'm doing that now. It's like, I'm sitting and wondering, like, I could sit here and read that. Like, I read. I. I'm very careful about my input I'm guessing that you both are. The input matters so much like what you're choosing to read, the people you're choosing to surround yourself with, the thoughts and words that you're saying and thinking, the environment that you're putting yourself in, choosing your physical wellness, well being. That's also a big road for some people. And they're like, well I can't stop eating McDonald's twice a week. And I'm like, you really can. How about you go to once a week. And it's important to just know that these little steps, they add up and these little choices matter. [00:31:42] Speaker A: So yeah, so there is a time and place for binge binge watching the programs and bed riding or couch writing or whatever it is. But I will say as a, I don't know if this is a midlife perimenopause woman thing but like I am very protective of my aligned life now. Like I am quicker to say no to the things. I have a lo fi day during the week where I'm like, I'm not doing too much much, not too much output. Like I'm very protective of that. And I'm also intentional about creating more or trying to creating more than I consume. And that creation could be, you know, a relationship or an experience. Like it's not always a tangible thing. So I wonder, Lorraine, or even using two Karen, because I don't think we've had this conversation before, like do you find yourself more protective of the life of alignment that you lead now? [00:32:28] Speaker B: A hundred percent. Like I, you know, I have no problem not hanging out with the friends that I call negative energy vampires now. I'll be like, oh no. And if someone asked me something I don't want to do or maybe it's not an instant yes, I'm like, let me get back to you. [00:32:43] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:32:44] Speaker B: And then I'm very, as Karen said, I'm very aware of what I take in, you know, like I don't watch the news on purpose because you know, energy, you know. And I'm very mindful of what I watch when I turn on my phone in the morning. I am now choosing sun before screens. So I get out, walk, get the energy 100%. And there's so much power in the pause and allowing yourself to reset. I now to speak on the perimenopause stage, which I'm in. And I'm like, it's okay to give yourself what I call a sloth day, you know, where you are giving yourself permission to just pause. Let's reset, let's recalibrate. My body's going crazy right now. It's okay. [00:33:26] Speaker A: Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People always talk about, like, fomo, but I'm like, if an event gets canceled or whatever, it's Jomo for me. Like, I. The joy of missing out. Like, oh, I get my time back. I love this. I know Jomo all day. [00:33:41] Speaker C: As much as I wanted to go to your 14 year old's birthday party, I'm good with staying home, doing my thing, you know, like, whatever. Yeah, Jomo is the thing. [00:33:52] Speaker A: Is the thing. [00:33:53] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. I think we could do an entire episode, y', all, on perimenopause and menopause. [00:33:57] Speaker B: We totally. [00:33:58] Speaker C: Like, at some point you can have [00:33:59] Speaker B: me back about that. [00:34:00] Speaker C: Get back on that one. Because I. There's so much information that I'm learning now and I'm like, like, where was this information 10 years? Like, what on earth? Why is this hidden? [00:34:09] Speaker A: Why is this not so we're gonna women. We are the superior being. And I will fight some fight me. [00:34:17] Speaker C: Like, yeah, good. Try to argue. Go ahead. [00:34:22] Speaker A: But yeah, like the idea. I would love to do a perimenopause episode or what that looks like, but, like, we absolutely can because we're in charge. We run this program. But all three of us, lasting advice or something that you would leave with [00:34:35] Speaker B: our listeners choose you. And then part of my podcast and my whole theory is happiness is a choice. So choose happiness. You can choose to be miserable every day, you can choose to be stuck, or you can choose happiness. It's just as easy to choose a life of happiness. And in choosing you, you're saying that you matter. There's so much self love and power in choosing you and not settling on life. You don't have to settle on life. Choose happiness. Choose you, I guess would be my last words of advice [00:35:13] Speaker A: for this episode. This is what Lorraine is leaving with. Leaving us with. We want to thank you, Lorraine, for continuously showing us what is possible when we stop living against ourselves and begin living from that. A place of happiness, alignment, and joy. So thank you again for joining us. It's been amazing. [00:35:31] Speaker C: So much. Lorraine, before you go, if people want to find you your podcast, I purchased your gratitude journal. I purchased one for me and Tara and it's coming on Sunday and it's very beautiful and I'm super excited about. So tell people where they can buy your products, where they can see your art, how they can listen to your amazingness and your joy and your just vivacious effervescence. [00:35:56] Speaker B: Oh, thank you all right? They can go to www choose a happy day.com and from there they can buy the books. They can listen to the podcast, which is also a YouTube show. They can go visually watch it on YouTube. [00:36:10] Speaker C: Absolutely. [00:36:11] Speaker B: I've been doing it for two and a half years now. It came to me through a dream, and it's my purpose to help spread happiness. And I'm working on an app which should be beta tested in the month. So I'm hoping to launch that next month. But it brings in all of my skills, my 20 years plus of being a professional photographer and energetic alignment. So I am excited for that. So if they go to the website, they can sign up for the newsletter and when that's launched, they'll be alerted. [00:36:40] Speaker C: Does the app have a name already? [00:36:42] Speaker B: It does. It's called a line. [00:36:46] Speaker A: It is. [00:36:47] Speaker C: And we beta test. We will beta test if you want us. [00:36:49] Speaker B: I will get a beta test. Yes, please. [00:36:51] Speaker C: That. Thank you, Lorraine. Thank you for bringing your beautiful self, beautiful soul to this conversation, for helping to enlighten and lift up our listeners and to share your very lived experience of what it means to go from no to yes, from dark to light, from impossible to all things possible. Thank you. [00:37:14] Speaker A: This has been great. I loved it. This is awesome. Thank you, ladies. [00:37:19] Speaker C: Aw. [00:37:20] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:37:22] Speaker A: This was one of my favorite episodes, and I am so glad that this worked that we were able to get this done this week. [00:37:31] Speaker C: It's been amazing. [00:37:32] Speaker A: And I have a song from British singer, songwriter and musician Michael Kiwanuka. The song is Home Again. Check out this week's song on the yo Podcast playlist on Spotify. [00:37:55] Speaker C: Sweet, sweet, sweet song. To start, I was like, yes, my brother. Yes. [00:38:03] Speaker A: Michael, thank you for that amazing song. Thinking in terms like when I hear home again, home again, I feel like if you are in this season right now where you are feeling, like Lorraine said, you're stuck, stuck or constricted or whatever, like this is the future prayer. Like this is how you call yourself Forward one day I know I'll be home again. You don't feel that way right now, but it's coming. And if you just repeat that, that's part of that future casting we were talking about. [00:38:30] Speaker C: Clear. And the fear will fall away. So good. Yeah. That's the ultimate, right? The ultimate. Interesting trusting life and just knowing that there's more. More. [00:38:42] Speaker A: There is more. All right, it is now time for our question of the day. Here we go. This is gonna be fine. Really quick. Okay, question. What has become possible because you stopped living against yourself? [00:39:00] Speaker C: Everything. Everything no, it's true. Like this pause that has been in my life for these last six months. Months. Like there's just been. I've just been giving myself time and space to allow and to grow and to just cultivate a different mindset and a different way of being, a different way of observing the world. It's not something that I'm railing against. It's something that is supportive and here for me and just feeling more connected to the stream of. Of life and wellbeing and allowing that to shift my trajectory. And it is in a big way. It's just happening. So that has been a real, a real beautiful gift. [00:39:48] Speaker A: Yeah. I feel like the answer is everything. What has become possible. Like before there were limits associated, especially me. I know be like, well, I'm not capable of doing that. When I had that conversation with my coach and my therapist in the same day when they really tag teamed me without knowing they were tag teaming me, there was a different between capacity and capability and I was confusing to the two. So now it truly is. The sky's the limit or not even the limit. It's beyond that. There are so many possibilities and opportunities that I know would not be possible if I were out of alignment. The openness and seeing chance and growth and joy everywhere. That choice, that's what's possible. A life of beauty, a life that, that doesn't live on the. It has to be either or the life of the and is more. [00:40:44] Speaker C: That's okay. I mean, just drop a bomb right there, Tara. Yeah, it's so true. Like that seeing that like a vision, that future self, that aligning with that future self and what's possible, which is literally anything and everything. If you can, if your mind can, can see it. Right. You can achieve it. But you, you have to really, truly, deeply believe that it is possible. [00:41:10] Speaker A: Yeah. And I feel this life of living in alignment and agreement. It's not a passive life. I see the thing and it's like I'm going to do everything in partnership with God to get there. The dream and the vision is not all for. Not like, oh, that's possible. Then let's go. [00:41:30] Speaker C: It's like we're being called to be the best version of ourselves, which is the truest, most authentic version of ourselves, which is absolute ultimate love and creativity and gratitude and joy. So that's what's beckoning us. And are we going to say yes and are we going to take that step? [00:41:48] Speaker A: All right, all right. [00:41:50] Speaker C: What you got on a quote there, sister? Because holy cow, this episode this episode [00:41:55] Speaker A: has been absolutely amazing. This quote is from American psychiatrist Jungian analysis and author Gene Shinoda Boland. And it was was wild that Lorraine said goddess because she wrote a book way back in 1984 that is titled Goddesses in Every Woman. And I'm like, y', all, I ain't read it, but it's wild that that would be the quote and that would be the word. So yeah, she said when you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings you joy, way care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life. [00:42:41] Speaker C: Are you serious in this moment that that is the quote for that you found for today? That's all this episode has been about [00:42:50] Speaker A: a recover or discover. [00:42:53] Speaker C: Recover or discover. Like. Yes, Gene. [00:42:57] Speaker A: Yes, ma'. Am. Yes, ma', am, Absolutely. And the choice. Make room for it. That's all. Make room for it. When you make room for it. [00:43:06] Speaker C: That's all I do. [00:43:08] Speaker A: That is all. Oh, I had. Okay. [00:43:11] Speaker C: It's almost like the joy will take care of the rest. I mean, you do have to take action, but if you make room for it, it's gonna keep making more room for itself. [00:43:21] Speaker A: Yes, yes, that's exactly what will happen. This has been. If I say it 400 more times, it's because it really has been amazing. So, explorer, until next time, May you build a life that feels like home. [00:43:38] Speaker C: Explorers, thank you for joining us. Remember that happiness and fulfillment and peace are just one choice away. You deserve it. You are worthy. We love you so much. Take good care. Thank you to Queenies in downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio studio and for welcoming us so warmly. Each week we'd like to give a shout out to Coco Cinnamon, the birthplace of 1023 Media and the yo podcast. Please support your local women owned minority owned coffee shop in downtown Durham. Brought to you by Durham based 1023 Media, a heart centered woman owned multimedia company.