Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey podcast, where your guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth.
Each week, we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way.
Please note, this podcast should not replace medical care or advice. We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists.
If you enjoy enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions.
So, explorers, let's dive into today's episode.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: Hey, explorers, it's Tara.
Wherever you are, you made it. You showed up. And that matters.
Before Karen and I begin this episode, we invite you to pause, to breathe, and to set down the invisible weight you've been carrying.
Today, we're exploring something our culture rarely makes. Room for. Rest.
Not rest as a reward. Not rest as a collapse. Not rest as a luxury.
But rest as liberation.
[00:01:26] Speaker C: Love this concept so much.
That's not something you have to learn. Just slow down. Take care.
[00:01:33] Speaker B: Yes. All right, quick check in, Explorers. When's the last time you truly rested? Not because you checked everything off your list, but because you needed it.
[00:01:43] Speaker C: That is on your list.
[00:01:44] Speaker B: That is the only thing on your list.
[00:01:46] Speaker C: It's like on your list to rest.
[00:01:49] Speaker B: We venture to say that this episode is for anyone who's ever felt guilty for sitting down, who struggled to slow down, or believed that rest had to be earned. Spoiler alert. It doesn't.
We were not created to grind ourselves into the ground. We were created to live, breathe, create, and yes, rest and experience.
[00:02:12] Speaker C: You can only truly experience and be in that moment and presence that you can get once you are rested.
[00:02:21] Speaker B: She dropping tea already in the. In the introduction?
All right, so we have been conditioned to believe that rest is lazy. So let's talk about it.
[00:02:34] Speaker C: Yeah, let's talk about.
[00:02:35] Speaker B: Let's talk about that. We live in a culture that worships productivity.
[00:02:42] Speaker C: No, literally, like, if you're not that there's something wrong with you. Right.
I believe in Central South America and also Spain. Perhaps they have it right, which is like, let me siesta in the middle of the day. Let me refill my. Well, let me rest. I am a huge proponent of rest.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: We live in a culture where being busy is worn like a badge of honor, where burnout is normalized.
[00:03:12] Speaker C: What? That is so wrong.
Can't we see that that's wrong? Jimmy's like, exhaustion is like, you win. Y. You're the most exhausted out of everyone in this room.
[00:03:22] Speaker B: Don't you hear in the conversations that we observe, maybe even participate in where it's like, I did this. I'm a one up, how tired I am, one up how much I actually did versus what you did. Like it's some weird competition.
[00:03:33] Speaker C: Yeah. I try to turn those conversations into, I don't want to know what you do or did. I want to know who you are.
[00:03:41] Speaker B: From a very early age, we learned that rest is something to be done after our work is done.
But what happens when the work is never done?
[00:03:49] Speaker C: Because that's kind of what adulting is like. If you are a homeowner or a parent, it's like triple that.
[00:03:55] Speaker B: The work is never done.
[00:03:57] Speaker C: There's no Joneses, there's no finish line. There's no race. The only finish line is when you live out your life.
[00:04:03] Speaker B: That's the race.
[00:04:04] Speaker C: So then just take your rest in the places and times that you need it. If your body is telling you if you're getting sick, often that's the biggest flag.
[00:04:13] Speaker B: Think about it. Explorers. Is there a story you're telling yourself about rest? Are you telling yourself that it's something you have to earn or something that you're allowed to claim?
We internalize the belief that slowing down means falling behind and that rest is lazy and that our worth is tied to our output. Remember a culture that worships productivity tied to our output.
[00:04:34] Speaker C: Oh, I love that. I like the way you just said that. I feel like for a second you were like a flow.
[00:04:39] Speaker B: Yeah, but those are lies. Lies that keep us exhausted, overextended, and disconnected from ourselves.
[00:04:47] Speaker C: And that's what they want. You know who they are?
[00:04:50] Speaker B: The infamous. They. Could they just leave us alone? Can they do that?
[00:04:55] Speaker C: Can't rise up if you're exhausted.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I know.
It's a wife, a mother, a partner, a daughter, a sister, a friend, all of these things. There is a season of time or where it was almost like I couldn't sit still, which is very out of character for me. A true born to the bone Southern woman where everything is easy.
[00:05:18] Speaker C: Right.
[00:05:19] Speaker B: But there is this time when I couldn't sit still. And it's not because I didn't want to, but it's almost like rest was unsafe. Like, if I stopped, then none of these things would happen and that would be the end of the world.
And the to do list is over here. Like, screaming like, you have to get this done.
[00:05:37] Speaker C: You have to do this. You have to do that.
[00:05:39] Speaker B: And then I'd be like, all right, roger that. Back in motion.
I will rest later.
And later never came.
And then I realized that I wasn't really living my life. It's more like I was managing all of the things, like surviving, reacting. And it became evident that that's what I was doing when I stopped creating.
[00:06:02] Speaker C: Yes, you were like chief management and.
[00:06:04] Speaker B: Officer and logistics coordinator 4 this.
[00:06:07] Speaker C: You were like robot mode.
[00:06:09] Speaker B: Like, boom, get it done.
[00:06:10] Speaker C: Boom, get it done. Boom, get it done. You said something interesting, which I think a lot of women feel in society, which is, if I don't do it, it won't get done. Or if I don't do it, who's going to do it if I don't do it? Meaning the world will fall apart.
[00:06:24] Speaker B: It will absolutely end.
[00:06:26] Speaker C: Like people will die.
[00:06:27] Speaker B: Like that Earth is going to tilt off the axis.
[00:06:30] Speaker C: That's how.
[00:06:31] Speaker B: Yes, that's how.
[00:06:32] Speaker C: Internalized and ingrained and harmful, you know, hard to feel about.
[00:06:36] Speaker B: But what if rest could look differently than what we were taught?
What if we told a new story?
What if rest isn't the opposite of productivity, but the foundation of clarity, creativity and connection?
[00:06:53] Speaker C: Rest as the foundation for clarity, creativity and connection.
[00:06:58] Speaker B: You know how I am about my consonants and a little.
[00:07:02] Speaker C: And it's so true.
It's that rest period, that pause. Right. They talk about this too in developmental research. There are moments when there's a pause because there's so much going on behind the scenes.
[00:07:13] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:14] Speaker C: Like your body and your mind and your heart. They're all doing things behind the scenes. Like when you rest. Like we heal when we sleep. Everything is going on while we're sleeping. Like we have to sleep for that. It's the same as rest.
For our mental clarity, for our creativity, for just time and space. Just creating time and space for life to occur in the real life. I'm not talking about the busy life. I'm talking about real life. Actual interactions, actual sitting down with some pencils and creating something.
[00:07:48] Speaker B: Rest isn't weakness, it's wisdom.
It's resistance. It's a radical act in a world that profits from our exhaustion. I ain't saying nothing else about that.
[00:08:01] Speaker C: That's. You don't have to. You don't have to all the way around.
[00:08:05] Speaker B: When we choose rest, we're saying that our well being matters, our body matters, and we don't have to burn out to be enough.
[00:08:14] Speaker C: Choosing rest puts ourselves first. We are not accustomed to that. People feel uncomfortable putting themselves first. Like it's selfish or like it's a terrible thing.
[00:08:25] Speaker B: Yeah, let's be real.
Our body will whisper that we need rest until it screams we need rest.
[00:08:35] Speaker C: Oh yeah, there's. There's whispers for sure. Until you like, all of a sudden you're like, how did I get the flu?
[00:08:41] Speaker B: Right.
[00:08:41] Speaker C: Well, I could tell you about what the last month looked like, like why you probably got it.
[00:08:46] Speaker B: Rest is how we listen before the breakdown.
[00:08:49] Speaker C: Rest is proactive.
[00:08:51] Speaker B: Yes, yes.
Explore. What would it mean for you to rest before you're depleted? Reimagining rest means asking new questions.
[00:09:01] Speaker C: Let's hear some of those new questions.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: What if I could be still and still be valuable?
[00:09:08] Speaker C: Oh, well, that. Okay, let's just get right to the.
[00:09:11] Speaker B: Heart of the matter.
[00:09:12] Speaker C: I mean, that's why most people don't rest, because they don't want to sit still enough to think, am I valuable? Do I matter?
Yes, you do.
I had to believe myself on that. Yes, I matter.
And. And yes, yes, it's okay to take rest. I do want to point out, for men, there's a lot of pressure on everyone.
Right. And sometimes my heart breaks for men who oftentimes feel like work wise, they just gotta go, go, go. And it is truly, boy. I mean, that's why there's such a high rate of heart attacks and cancer and stroke in men. It's like someone is just constantly beating them with a stick to keep moving. Keep moving. Yeah.
[00:09:57] Speaker B: What if my body didn't have to earn?
[00:10:03] Speaker C: Hmm. It's not a point system. It's not a reward, as you said earlier. Yeah. What if I could just rest? What if rest, the ultimate, like, form of proactive self care and self love.
[00:10:19] Speaker B: What if I believed I was worth the pause?
[00:10:24] Speaker C: See what I'm saying? About how it's connected to our worth and our identity? It is.
And it's worth taking the pause and seeing that you're uncomfortable taking the pause because that is going to indicate, oh, there's a little something here about what if I slow down and I don't pull my weight and I'm not valuable? You are valuable by the fact that you are by a one in a million chance born and here.
So boom, like just that's. That's a given.
[00:10:55] Speaker B: So, explorer, maybe for you. Rest looks like a walk with no destination.
A deep breath between tasks, a nap without apology, a no without explanation.
Maybe it's canceling a meeting, turning off your phone, crying in the car, laughing with your kids, journaling at night. Whatever it looks like, let it be.
[00:11:18] Speaker C: Yours consistently daily, many times throughout the day, perhaps, but we'll still say once daily.
Start there. It really feels foreign. My God. When we're go, go, going, we don't have time to process and to feel and to just be with that. Yeah, it's so important to just be with that, to really take part in the human journey.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: Rest is not self indulgence, is self honoring. And that is sacred.
We rest.
We reconnect with our humanity. We soften the sharp edges. We remember who we are beneath the performance.
Rest makes space for renewal, for remembering that we were never meant to do it all alone, to be creative, to.
[00:12:07] Speaker C: Be like a blank canvas, to entertain new thoughts and ideas, to entertain new choices.
[00:12:14] Speaker B: You know, for me, I'm gonna come back to my Sabbath and like, if God rested, who am I not to rest? Like what, What I look like?
[00:12:21] Speaker C: How dare you?
[00:12:21] Speaker B: What does that even look like?
Okay, explorers, let's redefine rest. It's not just naps and bubble baths. It's boundaries. It's silence. It's joy. It's time. Away from the noise. Rest is a reset. Rest is where clarity finds us. Not laziness Is strategy.
[00:12:41] Speaker C: Oh, man, the doers out there are gonna. They're gonna be like, wait, strategy.
She said strategy. Wait, I like strategy. What is it? Wait, so like, I can.
It's strategy in the organization of your day in your life to maintain optimum whatever it is for you. Yes.
[00:13:00] Speaker B: So like Karen said, start simple. We schedule rest with the same intention that we schedule our work. We protect it, we prioritize it. And we don't need permission.
[00:13:11] Speaker C: Put it in the calendar. I didn't do it on the slide too, but put it in the count.
[00:13:16] Speaker B: But explorer, in case you do need permission, here it is. You're allowed to rest.
[00:13:24] Speaker C: You are allowed to rest, my friend.
That's it, Karen. Allowed to rest. Go rest.
[00:13:31] Speaker B: As soon as you finish this episode as you can, come back to it. You know what? Go ahead. Right now.
We'll be here. Yes. Karen and I are going to move into this song.
[00:13:41] Speaker C: Yeah, we are.
[00:13:42] Speaker B: All right, let's take a moment to pause with this song. Let the lyrics wash over you. Let yourself just be. No fixing, no striving, no guilt. Just be.
The song is Sunrise by Nora Jones.
[00:14:00] Speaker A: Check out this week's song on the.
[00:14:02] Speaker B: YO Podcast playlist on Spotify.
[00:14:10] Speaker C: What a lovely, lovely tune.
[00:14:14] Speaker B: I feel like I can just go take a nap right now.
[00:14:17] Speaker C: I feel like I just took a nap.
[00:14:18] Speaker B: Oh, maybe that's like I just woke up. This is Sunrise.
[00:14:22] Speaker C: It's just so meditative and calming. I just, like, was move my body back and forth and I was like, I feel like how I feel when I come out of one of my meditations I'm just like, oh, I feel.
[00:14:31] Speaker B: That was nice.
[00:14:33] Speaker C: What was that?
[00:14:33] Speaker B: Four minutes? Three and a half. Barely.
[00:14:36] Speaker C: In three and a half minutes, you can create that state, that rest and digest healing state. It's the thing I talk about more than anything. The parasympathetic nervous system kicking in to help you relaxed. So your body can heal. Your soul, your spirit, your heart. Everything can just take a break. That is what that we didn't do.
[00:14:55] Speaker B: Anything but sit here serenading us about the sunrise. Let the sunrise in. You be enough. Like, just.
[00:15:05] Speaker C: Wow, that felt really good. Holy cow.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: All right, well, I mean, sh.
I guess it's time for the question of the day.
[00:15:11] Speaker C: I feel like I need a minute. Like, I'm out. It was making me think of this playlist. Soothing.
[00:15:17] Speaker B: Z. It's the coffee house vibes, for sure.
[00:15:20] Speaker C: Vibes. And there's like, there's the calm app, right.
[00:15:23] Speaker B: Which has meditations.
[00:15:24] Speaker C: But whatever it is that you can put in your ears, when we hear something, it does something to our nervous system, and we can't fight it.
[00:15:33] Speaker B: It's a lullaby. That baby going to sleep exactly like that.
[00:15:36] Speaker C: That baby's going to sleep like that is a given. Like it's like. So if you need to set yourself up, you know, orally, A U R A L, orally, you know, hearing something that's calm and relaxing, ocean waves, whatever it is for you, do that thing until you become so used to like, oh, this is what it feels like for my nervous system to slow down and calm down. Just be. Have something that you listen to to help you get to that state.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:16:05] Speaker C: Okay, now it's time.
[00:16:06] Speaker B: Time for the question of the day.
What's one way you have reclaimed rest? Not as a reward, but as your right.
[00:16:16] Speaker C: I have started to read for joy again.
[00:16:18] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:16:19] Speaker C: I don't know why I wasn't doing it. I was like, I got to work, got to work. I got to get things. There's lots to do.
[00:16:25] Speaker B: You were in that.
[00:16:25] Speaker C: And the move was probably moving this law.
So, yeah, I've just started taking. Taking books out of my local library or picking up something that I never actually ended up reading. Reading for me is like a beautiful luxury. That's a way for me to sort.
[00:16:41] Speaker B: Of slow down, to study and be in that. Yeah.
[00:16:44] Speaker C: Besides, of course, my meditation. But reading, that's the new one for me. Getting back to reading. How about you, Leyda?
[00:16:50] Speaker B: Oh, definitely in this season. It's about reclaiming softness. You've heard me say before, soft life, hard boundaries.
I have permission to be without performing, without being on a platform, allowing people to share their experience, to hold space for them, without feeling like I need to fix it.
So it's embracing and reclaiming softness.
[00:17:18] Speaker C: For me, it's about the being over, the doing.
[00:17:21] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. Yep. Right from this episode. Feels so good. I can't believe we are amazing.
[00:17:28] Speaker C: Hopefully our listeners are feeling that same kind of like low key, just chill vibes.
[00:17:34] Speaker B: Yes.
I found a quote from American journalist Sydney J. Harris.
He said, the time to rest is when you don't have time for it.
[00:17:48] Speaker C: That's just brilliance in a sense.
[00:17:49] Speaker B: Sentence.
[00:17:52] Speaker C: Exactly what you're saying. I have literally heard people say, I'd love to. I don't have time. And I'm like, we've got all the time in the world. What is time anyway?
[00:18:02] Speaker B: Sydney is reminding us that real rest, the kind that restores our soul, doesn't wait for perfect conditions.
[00:18:09] Speaker C: If you say you can't take it or you don't need it, you probably need it.
[00:18:13] Speaker B: Definitely need it.
Explorers, we want to invite you to reclaim something too. Maybe this week you give yourself 15 minutes of silence or you give yourself that three and a half minutes for Norah Jones sunshine to wash over you, or you cancel that one thing you're dreading or sleep in without guilt. Start where you are.
Start small, but start.
Thanks so much for joining with us today. If this episode stirs something in you, share it with a friend who's overdue for rest.
So until next time, keep choosing yourself.
Rest.
[00:18:51] Speaker C: Well, I love that. Rest is not a luxury.
Take your rest.
Give yourself the gift of time, of pausing, of allowing your nervous system to calm down. We're so glad that you joined us.
Yes, definitely. Get some good rest and take good care.
[00:19:13] Speaker D: Thank you to Queenies in downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for welcoming us so warmly.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: Each week.
[00:19:22] Speaker D: We'd like to give a shout out to Coco Cinnamon, the birthplace of 1023 Media and the yo podcast. Please support your local women owned minority owned coffee shop in downtown Durham.
Brought to you by Durham based 1023 Media, a heart centered woman owned multimedia company.
