Who Told You That? Rewriting the Rules You Grew Up With

[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey Podcast, where your guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth. Each week we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way. Please note this podcast should not replace medical care or advice. We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists. If you enjoy enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions. So explorers, let's dive into today's episode. Hey explorers, it's Tara, wherever you are. Karen and I are so glad you're here. Today we're talking about the silent roles we've absorbed throughout our lives. Roles that shaped how we show up in the world, even if we never consciously chose them. This episode is for anyone who's ever paused mid thought and realized, wait, do I even believe this or is this just what I was taught? It could be a rule about your worth, about what success is supposed to look like, about how quiet you're meant to be, or how much space you're allowed to take up. [00:01:33] Speaker B: It's all those. [00:01:35] Speaker A: To be clear, we're not here to shame where you've been. We're here to reflect, unravel, and gently rewrite the stories that no longer serve us. Some of those rules were survival strategies, and we're allowed to outgrow them. [00:01:48] Speaker B: We are and celebrate what that means. All the possibility, all the unfolding and unlayering and the blooming that can happen. When you think about when I say those words, how does that feel in my body? Do I even mean that? Do I even believe that? Who told me that? Who told me that? And why do I internalize that? [00:02:11] Speaker A: Yeah, let's talk about the rules that we grew up with, spoken or unspoken, that shaped the very foundation of who we thought we had to be. Explorers, think back to your earliest memories. What were you taught about who you had to be? [00:02:28] Speaker B: I mean, goodness, right? Just when you're thinking back, sometimes it's not necessarily conscious memory, but you. Somewhere in your body and somewhere in your cells, you hold the memory of these very clear expectations, right? That you internalize. That we all internalized from our early years. They did not have to be spoken. The people who thought those things didn't even have to understand that they thought those things. Energy and expectations of things on the cellular level, they just transmit. And we get to take a step back and look at it and decide if we want to ascribe to those things anymore. [00:03:16] Speaker A: Maybe you were told that good girls don't Talk back. Or that real men don't cry. Maybe you weren't told anything out loud, but you noticed who got praised, who got punished, and who got overlooked. [00:03:30] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, because little kids are the observers, watching everything. They don't miss anything. 360 degrees. Yes. [00:03:38] Speaker A: And those rules didn't just shape our choices, they shaped our identities. [00:03:43] Speaker B: Our identities. That's the trouble right there. [00:03:48] Speaker A: In response, we became the peacemakers, the overachievers, the ones who didn't ask for too much. We learned how to anticipate everyone else's needs while burying our own. We learned to stay quiet, stay small, stay pleasant, even when we were breaking inside. [00:04:07] Speaker B: And now you know all of these attributes that you just mentioned, every last one of them is about what you perceived to be your safety and survival. They are primal urges to just stay alive and not piss off your caregivers or the adults in your life so that you can get to X amount of years. [00:04:28] Speaker A: Like, develop society. Like, this is the new survival mechanism. Like survival instinct. Like, this is how we stay alive to respond in this way. These rules, unwritten or spoken, also shaped how we behaved in relationships. Sometimes we became too accommodating, afraid to rock the boat, and always managing how others felt before we even checked in with ourselves. [00:04:49] Speaker B: That's number one on my list. [00:04:51] Speaker A: List. She thinks that. But you, this summer, you've learned this lesson, and I'm like, oh, my baby's growing up. [00:05:00] Speaker B: Yeah, I cracked eggshell on that one. [00:05:03] Speaker A: These rules shaped our emotional lives. Maybe you learned to suppress anger, to perform happiness. [00:05:10] Speaker B: To perform happiness is what she just said I did. To perform happiness. Holy spirit smokes. To just be the great pretender, right? [00:05:23] Speaker A: Oh, yes. [00:05:24] Speaker B: Goodness me. [00:05:26] Speaker A: But here's the thing. When our entire emotional vocabulary is filtered through someone else's expectations, we lose touch with our truth. [00:05:37] Speaker B: I almost just cried when you said that sentence. Oh, my gosh. Repeat it for me. [00:05:46] Speaker A: Your entire emotional vocabulary is filtered through someone else's expectations. You lose touch with your truth. [00:05:53] Speaker B: Oh, God. That is everything in a nutshell right there. That is the cause of all of the pain and all of the struggle, all of the grief, all of the limiting beliefs, all the illness. Everything just boom, boom, boom, right down the line. There it is. We can sign off now. Tara just said it. And the end. [00:06:18] Speaker A: Yes. Wow. But that's why we're here. To name those rules, to trace their origins and to ask with curiosity and compassion, who told you that? And do you still believe it? [00:06:32] Speaker B: Nothing wrong with a little analysis, a little clarity, a little awareness. Getting curious Asking the questions and then answering the questions. [00:06:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:42] Speaker B: You know how it feels for you in your body, in this moment. Moment. [00:06:48] Speaker A: Many of these rules came from people who loved us. Some meant well. Others were simply repeating what they were taught. But love doesn't make a message true or helpful. [00:07:00] Speaker B: Oh, what? But they love me. But they love me. Why would they? [00:07:09] Speaker A: No. [00:07:09] Speaker B: But they love me. Why would they? Yes, they do love you in the best way that they can in the way that they learned how to love. It does not necessarily mean that's what you need or that's what you want. That might not be the form of love that you need and want and desire. Yeah. [00:07:29] Speaker A: Wow. [00:07:30] Speaker B: But they love me. [00:07:32] Speaker A: Explorers, let's name it. What silent rules shaped you like, child. Bout to take a nap. Who is. Who is saying this stuff? [00:07:41] Speaker B: I feel like I'm not joking when I say we cannot overstate how important and all encompassing and all infiltrating this in our lives today, in this moment, as a grown adult person who is pretending to live their life according to a set of rules that are not their own rules. And then we just being on the fast lane, on cruise control, and then what's happening? Then you're 70 years old and you're like, who am I? [00:08:11] Speaker A: What was that life that I lived? All right, maybe we'll take it a little bit lighter moving forward until the song break. Because I. That was just like. I came in hot. Do you hear me? Like, swinging. Y' all not ready to rumble? I'm sorry, I didn't. Are you ready to rumble? I didn't do that. I didn't. My bad. I mean, I thought it was going. [00:08:30] Speaker B: To be a dance off, but this is a straight up brawl. [00:08:33] Speaker A: Brawl didn't come to play with y' all today. [00:08:37] Speaker B: She bringing the fire today. [00:08:40] Speaker A: Of course. So there comes a moment, often, quietly, when those rules, spoken or unspoken, stop working. [00:08:49] Speaker B: I was waiting for the next thing you said. We're going to go lighter. [00:08:51] Speaker A: No, no. We'll see. Let's see. Maybe it's when you keep saying yes while your resentment builds. Flashback to reclaiming your no. Or when you're praised for being selfless, but you feel invisible or broken or dead inside. Maybe it's when the smile you wear for everyone else no longer fits. Or when the life that once made sense no longer feels like your own. Okay, so maybe we not lighting it up. I'm just gonna swing and fight, the whole thing. I mean, you just might as well. [00:09:25] Speaker B: Just keep bringing it, because you know what? It's. It's got to be said, and it's gotta be heard. So we're gonna say it, and they're gonna hear it. [00:09:33] Speaker A: We're gonna be fine. [00:09:34] Speaker B: Processing. Sometimes you gotta break it wide open. Sometimes you just gotta bring a sledgehammer and break that thing. [00:09:42] Speaker A: Crack it open to the studs at this point. Okay. [00:09:45] Speaker B: Breaking it down. This is the tension. [00:09:49] Speaker A: Honoring your past while telling the truth about your present. Those old rules were built for a different version of you. They helped you survive, belong, stay safe. But survival is not the same as freedom. [00:10:06] Speaker B: Survival is exhausting. Survival is a constant game, a constant masking, a constant presenting. Survival is high levels of stress on your body all the time. [00:10:21] Speaker A: All the time. Not even. There's not a break in survival. It's just, go, go, go. [00:10:26] Speaker B: I pictured my little dog who is hyper, vigilant, and anxious. And that guy, he is on all. [00:10:34] Speaker A: The time and is able to be on. It's really 0 to 100. Like. [00:10:37] Speaker B: Yeah. And if that's how you feel in your body and your nervous system, to me, that's a pretty good red flag. [00:10:43] Speaker A: Yeah. Sometimes growth means grieving the roles that once defined you, the ones that kept you liked, praised, and accepted, and stepping into new ways of being that might not make sense to everyone else, but feel more like home to you. [00:11:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, if it feels good, if it feels right, even if there's some fear around, will I lose this person, relationship, job, friend, whatever, you know? Also, there's a little bit of that fear of, this is the person you've known your whole life. According to these rules, this is who I am. And if I let that go, if I drop that and let that fall away, then who am I? Talk about existential identity crisis. When we start to drop these things, if we're not replacing them with new values and identity, that truly resonates, it can seem scary. So I have empathy for that. [00:11:40] Speaker A: Yeah. I have done several reintroductions. It's very much clear my throat. Let me reintroduce myself to you, because obviously you got me really twisted. That's not. That's who I was. That's not who I am. Hi. Nice to meet you. [00:11:57] Speaker B: Hi. Nice to meet you. Yeah. That was 20 years ago, right. 30 years ago, whatever that was. [00:12:02] Speaker A: When I was 4. Exactly. Let me reintroduce you to who I am. [00:12:06] Speaker B: Allow me to introduce myself. [00:12:09] Speaker A: Yeah. And then I remember those seasons of my life where I definitely tried to be everything for everyone else and almost nothing for myself. That was exhausting even, like, doing that and being everything for everybody else, it still didn't feel like enough because there was still the. The whispers of imposter syndrome, or you're not doing it like this person, and you drop the ball here. Why are you dropping balls? Because you only have 20 balls. Why can't you juggle all of them at the same time? And then there was a moment, was like, you know what now? [00:12:38] Speaker B: So much judgment. So much judgment piled on judgment. And then at some point, you're like, I'm gonna lay this down. [00:12:45] Speaker A: Lay it all down. And look at these rules and these roles. And, like, these aren't mine. I don't want this one. This is not mine. This is not mine. And I don't need to keep performing this version of myself that doesn't feel true. [00:13:05] Speaker B: That's when you bring that book back to the library. Thank you very much. I don't need this anymore. [00:13:12] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's in that awakening, that awareness that things begin to shift. It doesn't happen all at once. [00:13:19] Speaker B: It's not going to happen overnight. [00:13:20] Speaker A: It does not happen. [00:13:22] Speaker B: I think we'd explode, right? [00:13:23] Speaker A: And, like, it happens very quietly. Like, you've turned over the page and it's the beginning of a new story. Like, all right, this is where it begins now. [00:13:33] Speaker B: And for me, a really great way to do that is to inventory. Sometimes I'll just write two columns. What are the things that are going on in my life? Are the things that I really enjoy, things that make me happy? And then now, right? [00:13:47] Speaker A: Is it enough of the happy me? [00:13:48] Speaker B: Is there enough of the. Do they cross over enough? Happy me should be in the now column. And if it's not, then it's something I want to take a look at. [00:13:57] Speaker A: Okay, so what do we do when we realize that these beliefs, these rules no longer serve us? We just begin again? We do that curious, compassionate analysis. Who told me that? And do I want to keep carrying it? This unlearning, this rebuilding, doesn't mean we're dishonoring our roots. It means we're honoring our truth. And this truth, it gets clearer when we stop trying to be who they needed and start becoming who we really are. [00:14:29] Speaker B: And it gets clearer and clearer. And then you're like, you're a baby, and then you're a toddler and you're in this new cell. [00:14:36] Speaker A: Yes. Right. [00:14:36] Speaker B: It's gonna feel a little bit like, am I just at the store trying on outfits or what? And it's okay to try on different aspects, see what really vibes with you, what makes you happy, what feels Aligned and resonant with who you really are. Because your intuition and your inner wisdom, it will tell you. [00:14:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:55] Speaker B: As you're asking. It'll be like, yep, nope, don't like that color. Yep. Like that. [00:14:59] Speaker A: Yeah. It absolutely takes courage to hold up the stories and the rules that we've inherited and say, I see why this was given to me. I understand how it shaped me. But I get to decide what I bring with me into this next chapter. [00:15:14] Speaker B: It can happen at any chapter. [00:15:16] Speaker A: You'd be like, you know what, in college right now. [00:15:17] Speaker B: Or you can be about to retire. You can be about to have your second baby. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where you are in the scheme. You can always look at that and start the new chapter. [00:15:30] Speaker A: You can bless where you came from and still walk in a new direction. [00:15:36] Speaker B: I love that feeling. I understand. Thank you. I bless you. That is not for me any longer. Just keep walking. [00:15:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:46] Speaker B: You don't have to be pissed off. You don't have to resent and just be, you know, holding on to just rage and not forgiving or whatever it is, because none of that matters. This moment and how you choose differently is what matters. [00:16:01] Speaker A: Reclaiming what's yours might look like using your voice, choosing rest, honoring your anger, expressing your needs. It might mean finally saying no or daring to say yes to something that scares you. It starts with a single shift. A small, brave choice to show up in alignment, not performance. [00:16:27] Speaker B: The performative, happy person. Wow. [00:16:30] Speaker A: Explorers, try this affirmation. I get to choose what I carry forward. [00:16:37] Speaker B: I get to choose what I carry forward. [00:16:42] Speaker A: Say it out loud. Whisper it. Write it down. Let it root in your bones. [00:16:49] Speaker B: Put it on post. It notes around your entire house. [00:16:53] Speaker A: Everywhere. All of the reminders. I don't know if I actually took it lighter before we got to the song break. I feel like I was still a little scrappy. [00:17:02] Speaker B: I think we eased into. We came in hot. It came in hot. The whole concept, but it's only because of how passionately you feel about it and how passionately I feel about it. [00:17:12] Speaker A: It's a lived experience. [00:17:13] Speaker B: Like, it's lived and it's. It's like the great trauma. It's like the big lie. And so, yeah, of course we're going to feel passionate about that. [00:17:23] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. So we've name the old rules, we've questioned the scripts, and we're choosing what's ours to carry, for that is the real work. It's not loud, it's quiet, but it's powerful. You don't need anyone else's permission. You don't need to prove anything. And you're definitely not waiting for validation. [00:17:41] Speaker B: You don't have to hang up posters. I'm refusing my old identity, and I'm doing the work. I'm gonna be somebody new, and I'll let you know who that is when I figure it out. Nobody needs to know. This is an inside job. [00:17:52] Speaker A: Yeah. You are becoming the version of you that's rooted whole and clear, and that deserves a soundtrack. The song for this episode is a beautiful reminder of the strength that already exists within you. It is Jennifer Hudson's. I got this. Check out this week's song on the YO Podcast playlist on Spotify. Listen, listen, listen. If that didn't stir something in you, I'm gonna need y' all to go ahead and hit the replay. [00:18:36] Speaker B: Try that again, because you weren't listening to that song. What I love about it is. It's just. It's, like, so soothing, but at the same time. So the what power? How she's saying is so powerful, and it reminds me that we are our greatest cheerleaders. I don't care how much someone else loves you. If you are not cheering yourself on, if you are not encouraging yourself to know yourself more deeply, then it doesn't matter how anyone else feels about you, because this is your journey. This is about you. And yes, we are all in relationship to others, but you becoming me, you, all of us becoming our greatest cheerleader and our biggest supporter. Even in those quiet moments, they're not. They're not all going to be, like, superhero, you know, power moments. These are the whispers, as you were saying before. Like the whispers, the quiet nudging. [00:19:34] Speaker A: Yeah. It's the energy, that mellow powerfulness that I feel like we're inviting everyone to bring into this next season of their life. Like, you've done the work. You've let go of what isn't yours. And the reminder is, you've got this. You've got this. [00:19:54] Speaker B: You've got you. No one knows how to do you better than you. And you know deep down what you is and who you is. [00:20:01] Speaker A: Who you is. Who you is. Okay, on that. That sound like, yes, who you is. It's time for the shit QOTD question of the day. That's not the qotd. Who you is. Okay. All right, today's question. What's one story you were told about who you had to be that you've unlearned or are unlearning now? Good. [00:20:29] Speaker B: Like spin the wheel dealer's choice. Probably for me, it's that I don't want to be, nor am I a people pleaser. I don't need to be to survive, not be hurt emotionally or physically. I don't need to be a bend over backwards people pleaser to keep the peace, to take care of other people's emotional baggage and, you know, anger issues. [00:20:58] Speaker A: Right, Right. You don't have to be the dumping ground for that. Oh, I'm like, you like, what? [00:21:03] Speaker B: What? [00:21:03] Speaker A: What? [00:21:04] Speaker B: One story, the first one that popped in. But there's like, one story. [00:21:07] Speaker A: I feel like this is almost like the echo, like, of previous qotd. I don't even know what episode because we record a lot. And I'm like, I don't know where this is. But the story of being small and shrinking to be palatable, to be likable, to shrink the personality that is not really tiny. [00:21:34] Speaker B: Oh, she's big. [00:21:35] Speaker A: Is really tiny. And when I remember that, I definitely credit becoming a girl mom. Like, giving birth to my daughters definitely reminded me, especially when. When the youngest daughter came in. Like, I know when y' all said my due date was gonna be, but I'm actually gonna come on this day. Not the one that y' all thought and not the one that you planned for me, but this one right here. And I'm coming really quick. I don't know who you thought you were gonna give birth to first, but I'm on the way. Cause I've decided right now, like, that one definitely reminded me. I was very protective of the oldest baby, Creating a circle of safety around her so that I'm like, I don't have to be big for that. I get to lean into being her mom. Somewhere along the way, the second one came. Like, don't forget who you are. Watch this. Pow. Like, girl, it was almost like you. [00:22:28] Speaker B: Were rebirthed when she was birthed. [00:22:30] Speaker A: Yes, definitely when she was birthed. But I remember being pregnant with her and I was just like, oh, yeah, no, we don't do that. We don't do that. [00:22:37] Speaker B: Even in the womb. [00:22:38] Speaker A: Even in the messages were coming through. [00:22:40] Speaker B: She was like, listen, by time I come out, you better know who you. [00:22:44] Speaker A: Are, and you better be to be for the week. I'm not for the week. [00:22:50] Speaker B: Come on. And that is exactly so true. [00:22:57] Speaker A: Yeah, that's definitely like, girl, you big. But it remember how big. [00:23:02] Speaker B: We big together. I'm not coming in somebody small. That's not gonna work for me is what she was saying. That's not gonna work for me. So step it on up. Oh, man. [00:23:15] Speaker A: Explorers, we invite you to take this qotd to your journal, your prayers, or your next brave conversation with a trusted friend. Let the answer rise. Write it down. Name the story so you can release it. [00:23:31] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. When you name it and then especially when you speak it, you write it and then you speak it with a trusted friend. You're being witnessed. [00:23:38] Speaker A: There's such a beautiful, especially in the becoming a certain level of accountability that you introduce when you committed to writing, when you committed to speech. When you say it out loud. Remember when you say you was b. You being real little right now. [00:23:54] Speaker B: I just want to point out that you told me this, but you're acting this. Yeah, exactly. [00:24:02] Speaker A: Okay. [00:24:03] Speaker B: This has been so fun. So good. [00:24:05] Speaker A: Amazing. All right. [00:24:07] Speaker B: So empowered. [00:24:08] Speaker A: Yeah. So let's close out this episode with a quote that has been attributed to the late, the great. He float. Floated like a butterfly, stung like a bee. Muhammad Ali. [00:24:21] Speaker B: Ali. [00:24:22] Speaker A: I don't have to be what you want me to be. [00:24:26] Speaker B: I mean, is that the whole quote? Because you say no more. Like, say no more more. Could that be more simply stated? Like, could that be more simply stated? [00:24:38] Speaker A: Quite beautiful. [00:24:39] Speaker B: And could it hit more spot on. Powerful. [00:24:42] Speaker A: No, you don't need much more than that. [00:24:44] Speaker B: Oh, say that to yourself. I don't have to be who anybody wants me to be. I don't have to be who anyone else wants me to be. I'm just gonna say that over and over. [00:24:54] Speaker A: If something stirred in you today, if you're holding a truth that's rising to your. The surface. [00:24:59] Speaker B: I know you did. [00:25:00] Speaker A: I know it did. There's no way that it didn't know this explorer. You don't have to rush. You don't have to explain. You just have to begin gently, boldly, honestly. Unlearning is a process. Becoming is not rebellion. It's a return. You're not abandoning your roots. You're finally tending to your soul. [00:25:27] Speaker B: Okay, I can't. [00:25:28] Speaker A: As you move through your week, carry this with you. You get to choose what you carry forward. Say it again if you need to. And if this episode resonated with you, we'd love to hear about it. Share it with someone who's also rewriting their story. And if you haven't already, make sure to follow the show so you don't miss what's next. Until next time. Keep listening, keep unlearning, and keep. Keep becoming. [00:25:51] Speaker B: We just can't wait to read your new story. Our friends, our explorers, we love you. We love you in the past. We love you in the Present. We love you in the becoming. Thank you for being here with us and for listening to some fire. Take good care opened up. [00:26:10] Speaker A: It's so like not even like, like. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Definitely. Wish it was birth, but I remember being pregnant with her and I was just like, oh, yeah, no, we don't do that. We don't do that. Like even in the womb, even in. [00:26:23] Speaker B: The messages were coming through, she was like, this is. Listen, you better by time I come out, you better know who you are and you better be, you know, I'm. [00:26:32] Speaker A: Not about to be for the week. I'm not for the week. [00:26:36] Speaker B: Come on. And that is exactly so true, y'. [00:26:44] Speaker A: All. Yeah. So that's definitely like, girl, you big. Remember that. [00:26:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Remember how big we big together. You know, I'm not coming in somebody small. That's not going to work for me is what she was saying. Yeah, that's not going to work for me. So step it on up. [00:27:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:03] Speaker B: Oh, man. [00:27:06] Speaker A: Explorers, we invite you to. To take this qotd to your journal, your prayers or your next brave conversation with a trusted friend. Let the answer rise. Write it down. Name it. Name the story so you can release it. [00:27:25] Speaker B: Oh yeah. It's so true when you name it and then especially like when you speak it, you write it and then you speak it and you speak it in, you know, with. With a trusted friend, as you say. So that's sort of like you're being anointed, right? You're being witnessed. [00:27:40] Speaker A: Yeah. And there's a certain. [00:27:42] Speaker B: There's just such a beautiful. [00:27:43] Speaker A: Especially in the becoming a certain level of accountability that you introduce when you committed to writing, when you committed to speech, when you say it out loud to someone. [00:27:54] Speaker B: Yes, exactly. [00:27:55] Speaker A: Yeah. Remember when you said you was b. You being real little right now. [00:27:59] Speaker B: I just want to out point point out that you told me this, but you're acting this. Yeah, exactly. [00:28:08] Speaker A: Okay. [00:28:09] Speaker B: That was. This has been so fun. So good. [00:28:13] Speaker A: Amazing. All right. [00:28:14] Speaker B: So empowered. [00:28:15] Speaker A: Yeah. So let's close out this episode with a quote that has been attributed to the late, the great. He float floated like a butterfly, stung like a bee. [00:28:27] Speaker B: Muhammad Ali. Ali. [00:28:30] Speaker A: The quotes. I don't have to be what you want me to be. [00:28:38] Speaker B: I mean, is that the whole quote? Cuz you say no more. Like say no more. I don't have to be who you want me to be. Could that be more simply stated? Like could that be more. More simply stated. [00:28:55] Speaker A: Quite beautiful. [00:28:56] Speaker B: And could it hit more spot on. Powerful. [00:29:00] Speaker A: You don't need much more than that. Yeah. [00:29:03] Speaker B: Say that to yourself. Say that to, like, just say that to yourself. I don't have to be who anybody wants me to be. I don't. I don't have to be who anyone else wants me to be. I'm just gonna say that over and over. [00:29:17] Speaker A: If something stirred in you today, if you're holding a truth that's rising to your. To the surface. [00:29:22] Speaker B: I know you did. I know it did. [00:29:24] Speaker A: I know it did. [00:29:25] Speaker B: There's no way that it didn't. [00:29:27] Speaker A: Yes. Know this, explorer. You don't have to rush. You don't have to explain. You just have to begin gently, boldly, honestly. Unlearning is a process. Becoming is not rebellion. It's a return. You're not abandoning your roots. You're finally tender to your soul. [00:29:52] Speaker B: Okay, I can't. [00:29:54] Speaker A: So as you move through your week, carry this with you. You get to choose what you carry for it. Say it again if you need to. And if this episode resonated with you, we'd love to hear about it. Share it with someone who's also rewriting their story. And if you haven't already, make sure to follow the show so you don't miss what's next. Until next time, stay, keep listening, keep unlearning, and keep becoming. [00:30:18] Speaker B: Oh, we just can't wait to read your new story. Our friends, our explorers, we love you. We love you in the past. We love you in the present. We love you in the becoming. Thank you for being here with us and for just listening to some fire. Take good care. Thank you to Queenies in downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for welcoming us so warmly. Each week we'd like to give a shout out to Coco Cinnamon, the birthplace of 1023 Media and the yo podcast. Please support your local women owned minority owned coffee shop in downtown Durham. Brought to you by Durham based 1023 Media, a heart centered woman owned multimedia company.