Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey Podcast where your guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth.
Each week we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way.
Please note this podcast should not replace medical care or advice.
We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists.
If you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions.
So Explorers, let's dive into today's episode.
Hey Explorers, it's Tara. Before Karen and I say anything else, we want to say thank you. Thank you for the conversations, the ones we've had here and the ones you've been having in your lives right alongside us.
This episode is a celebration, a reflective celebration, a pause to notice what's been lived, learned and carried forward.
[00:01:17] Speaker B: I just can't believe what has transpired in our lives, personally and professionally. How we've shown up for 100 episodes and gained so much ourselves from real open conversation. That encourages me. I feel like that might encourage explorers to have these open, honest conversations with the people in their lives to deepen their connection and give them a different perspective or self awareness. I just think it's so valuable and I'm so glad we started this journey.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: It's been so fun. Even with the technical difficulties, figuring out where we're recording, how this was going to go, all of those early details that like you said, I cannot believe we are sitting here at episode 100 and it feels good to have that level of commitment to that level of stick to itness, even when it was a little janky. Thank you to Explorers for riding it out with us.
This isn't really a best of episode or a highlight reel. I'm not gonna play 100 clips from our could you imagine not?
No, I'm not. We're not gonna do that. What I really wanted to do for this episode is look back at these 100 conversations, 99 plus this 1 to what they have taught us. And the theme that I noticed in this reflection is that most people aren't looking for secret life hacks or the key to life. They' for permission. Permission to be honest with themselves. Permission to stop pretending they have it all figured out. Permission to trust themselves. Permission to become the best and truest version of themselves possible.
[00:03:01] Speaker B: And honestly, if we haven't inspired you by showing up in our messiness and our honesty and our tears and our inappropriate jokes and all of the ways that we show up, then I don't know what will. But I Will say I have enjoyed.
[00:03:16] Speaker A: But we're gonna keep doing it.
[00:03:17] Speaker B: I've enjoyed the process. And honestly, you said, hit me like. Like, we just. We said yes and just kept showing up. And there is such beauty in that. And there's such. I. I'm just so. Like, I'm so proud of that. I'm proud of us for saying yes and doing it. No matter what the logistics or the actual sound was. Like, we didn't know what the hell we were doing. And we're just like this.
[00:03:42] Speaker A: And I mean, honestly, still don't, but it feels true. We're two soul sisters. Started in a coffee shop conversation. Just out here saying yes and moving with intention and modesty, with hearts full of love. Baby, what is it? Oh, that's the thing. Heart. Heart driven.
[00:03:59] Speaker B: Heart driven. That is the engine of everything we do.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, Today, we're not offering you any secret life hacks, any hidden rules, any specific tips or tricks. We're just going to offer you a few reminders that have come as a result of these conversations.
Buckle up, minder number one.
[00:04:16] Speaker B: Here we go.
[00:04:17] Speaker A: Most people don't need fixing.
[00:04:21] Speaker B: Nobody needs fixing.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: Nobody. And that has been a huge one. One of the clearest lessons in this journey. People need safety. People need space. People need to be heard without being rushed towards some solution.
True healing and the depth of and longevity of your healing doesn't actually begin with advice. It begins with being witnessed, begins with.
[00:04:49] Speaker B: Being seen and heard, with really holding space for someone, for being present. We've done that for each other, and we do it for the people in our lives, and they do it for us. And there is no more beautiful act of love.
[00:05:03] Speaker A: And, yeah, we have seen this over and over.
So I guess the question.
This is lesson question, conversation. What do you notice that shifts when someone, be it someone you love personally or a professional relationship, like, what do you see that shifts inside that person when they finally feel seen?
[00:05:23] Speaker B: Oh, there is a softness. That's the way I want to describe it. Oh, there is a softness that it's like almost like they relax into.
Oh, my God, the softness. You can see it in their eyes, in their face, in their body language. Absolutely.
[00:05:38] Speaker A: I love that. A softness. It's like the hard edges, the armor that they may have put on to protect themselves. Like, they can finally take that off and show the vulnerable messiness of their humanity.
[00:05:50] Speaker B: I've seen my own. I've seen children do it. It's beautiful.
[00:05:54] Speaker A: Yeah. And that's something I notice in myself, like, when I feel seen safe and supported. I definitely soften. So I have this tattoo I got with one of my friends. It's a pineapple, but not in the weird swinger way.
[00:06:06] Speaker B: Is that a thing?
Does the pineapple. Oh, you're right. Actually, I did know that. Okay. Yeah, I'd heard that.
[00:06:11] Speaker A: I have this pineapple tattoo. The story of that is we were going to get a prickly pear tattoo, but all of those tattoos looked very disgusting. They look like they didn't look good. But the whole point is we wanted something, at least for me. What I wanted in this tattoo is like, I wanted it to represent, like, yes, it's a little prickly on the outside, but if you just stick with it, if you stick with it, if you are willing to wait for it to soften up, like, there is something sweet and beautiful on the inside. And then like, it morphed into this. Like, you know, be like a pineapple. Like, stand tall and wear a crown. Like, the point is to be like, yeah, it's soft on. It's soft on the inside. But there is this outer layer of protection, like we. That I have, that I've had, that I've held, that has served me well in various seasons. But when I'm seen, when I'm safe and supported, baby, you get the pineapple fruit.
[00:07:05] Speaker B: Seen, safe, supported, soft.
[00:07:08] Speaker A: That is the transition.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: I love it.
[00:07:09] Speaker A: All right, beautiful Reminder number two.
[00:07:12] Speaker B: Dos due.
[00:07:14] Speaker A: Clarity comes after courage.
When you and I sat down in that coffee shop, we had no idea where this was, was going, what we were going to do, how it was going to unfold, but we took action and decided to be courageous in that. Bold. Yes. And so many people are waiting for clarity before they move. Like, I am not going to move until I have this figured out. I'm not going to do this until this happens. But what these conversations have shown me, what this journey with you has shown me, is that clarity comes after courage.
[00:07:55] Speaker B: Yeah. A ten page strategy plan before you make one single action that is an act of perfectionism, which really is based in fear. And you're just looking for certainty and there's not really full certainty. You just gotta feel it in your heart and your gut and take a step.
[00:08:11] Speaker A: Clarity comes after the first small step.
So movement creates clarity, not the other way around.
[00:08:18] Speaker B: Do not wait. It ain't coming first.
[00:08:21] Speaker A: So when I thought it was like, movement creates clarity, not the other way around. The image that came to mind is of a desert oasis. Like, it's super far away. You see, see something. Something could be there.
You could stay where you are and it's not going to get any more clear. Or you can move in the direction of the Oasis and as you get closer, you're like, oh, this is where I'm going to find refreshment. This is where I'm going to find some subtleness. Like the clarity is coming after you. Move.
[00:08:45] Speaker B: Wow, I love that image. That's great.
[00:08:48] Speaker A: Reminder number three.
Identity shapes everything.
[00:08:55] Speaker B: Doesn't it, though?
[00:08:58] Speaker A: I mean, both of us were like, long sigh, long breath out, like, like.
[00:09:03] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I feel that one. Because identity is so tricky. If we attach too intensely or closely to a particular facet of identity, then we limit the other areas of our lives. But we do want to have an idea of. Of who we are and have that GPS locked in, right? This is where I think I want to go. Then you take that step of courage before you actually know, like, is this where I want to go? And is this true for me? And does this resonate and feel right in my body? But, ooh, identity.
[00:09:38] Speaker A: Yes, I did.
[00:09:39] Speaker B: Tricky, tricky. Identity.
[00:09:41] Speaker A: Everything.
Just like how we see ourselves determines what we tolerate, what we pursue and what we believe is possible.
We don't actually live at the level of our goals, we live at the level of our identity. This theme keeps coming up over and over again, which is why I stepped into this year fully aware and like, I am she. I am moving and acting from that identity. I am not asking for permission. I'm not rushing to do the next thing. Like, I'm her right now. And the only way to get to. To where I want to be is by becoming her, by moving like her, by speaking like her, but embodying her. Yeah, so what this is gonna. This might be a big question, but like this. Why do you think identity work is so foundational?
[00:10:31] Speaker B: First of all, anytime I've ever been caught up in an aspect of my identity, it's like a projection, the film running. Anytime I've got caught up in a piece of it, I'm missing the rest of the film. It has limited me. Like, there's so much more going on. And I spent like, no, but I'm. This also, when we start to really uncover, like, identity is our wholeness, our art, it's our inherent value and permission to be here and be all of who we are. We can then start to move, decide and choose from that place that, as.
[00:11:09] Speaker A: You were speaking, the phrase that came to mind is identity over image. So not what you think you should be, but who you actually are. Let that be your North Star. Let that Be your guide in how you show up in the world and how you move through life.
[00:11:24] Speaker B: And I often envision that as like my soul lantern, like this lantern sort of hanging up however many feet above me. And I'm like, that is my guidepost. And I connect to like, is that true for me? Does that feel right for me?
And I go to that bigger picture self, instead of just being concerned with how it's gonna look or how it's gonna affect someone else. Their perception of me.
Yeah, like, that's not. That's none of my business.
[00:11:52] Speaker A: It's not my business.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: Not my business.
[00:11:55] Speaker A: I'm gonna mind my business.
[00:11:56] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly.
[00:11:57] Speaker A: Reminder number four.
Growth is rarely linear.
[00:12:02] Speaker B: There so many twists and turns. As my mentor says, it's a river. And there's going to be bends and twists and you're still gonna get where you know your life goal, your self identity, your greatest expression of you is still at the end of the river. There are gonna be twists and turns, and sometimes you can't even see that it is where you're going. But if you trust that process, I know that I will get where I need to be. High highest version of self, some people might say, or greatest expression of love that's unfolding in me. I might not be able to see all the twists and turns, but the twists and turns are important.
And as he also says, nature is not linear.
You don't see rivers doing like a paved street, straight line like, like birds, they don't fly along a straight line. They're like, well, I'm getting from here to there.
Nature is nonlinear. We are non linear.
[00:12:58] Speaker A: The idea that growth is linear bubbles up. This idea, like if we circle back or if we have to revisit this lesson again, then we're not making progress. Growth actually often means revisiting old questions with new eyes. It means returning not because we didn't learn the lesson the first time, but we are integrating this identity that we have.
[00:13:21] Speaker B: Yes, absolutely.
[00:13:22] Speaker A: On a different level. Level up.
[00:13:24] Speaker B: We are spiraling up, babies.
[00:13:27] Speaker A: Oh, funny you say spiral because that's like the growth picture that I see. Like a spiral staircase. If you look at it from overhead, it's just a circle. But actually when you look at it straight on, you're going up in this circle. Like you're leveling up.
All right?
[00:13:43] Speaker B: But you are not staying on the same plane.
[00:13:45] Speaker A: You're going up. Even if sometimes up is just. Is one quarter of an inch, it's up.
And lesson number five is that meaning matters more than metrics. Meaning over metrics.
[00:13:59] Speaker B: Meaning over metrics. Meaning over whatever is meaningful to you, whatever you feel called to as purpose, as reflection of who you truly are and your unique gifts and talents. Meaning over whatever it is perceived. Like, whether you got the promotion or not, it doesn't matter, because if you're living from that place of meaning, then you are riding that river. You are doing the thing.
[00:14:26] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think some of our most powerful conversations in.
In this journey weren't always the loudest or the most polished conversations. They were the conversations that were most true. The one that popped in my mind immediately is our forgiveness episode about how like, that was.
[00:14:45] Speaker B: You mean where I cried?
[00:14:48] Speaker A: One of the ones where you cry. That episode was.
[00:14:54] Speaker B: It was raw.
[00:14:55] Speaker A: It was raw. It was honest, but it was true. I felt it was a necessary part of our evolution. Like, we had to have that conversation to move on to that next level of, like, oh, if we. And then another conversation that comes to mind was our suicide awareness.
When we finished recording that episode, we were like, if we can talk about that, we can talk about anything. Right? If we can handle this with grace, honesty, and care, then almost any topic is gonna be safe. Almost any topic is going to invite a level of honesty that you don't always find everywhere else. And.
And bringing this back to the meaning of those things, the topics that we outline, the things that we like, they matter more to us. We've done what we were supposed to do in this. We had a conversation about it, and we put it out in the world, and it always hits and lands where it's supposed to. We're not closely tied to whether 20 people listen to this or 200 people listen. Was the conversation meaningful? Did it get us closer to who we want to be as coaches, as people? Like, that's the question.
[00:16:13] Speaker B: Are we addressing topics that are real and helpful? We hope anyone who it falls in the laps of or on the ears of, and are we doing it from a place of the highest intention of love?
[00:16:27] Speaker A: Because this meaningful life outlasts any measurable metric. This courage that it takes for us to continue showing up, to continue being authentic, changes us in ways that aren't always visible through a metric.
[00:16:42] Speaker B: And anytime we're measuring, you know, any of us, like, in our field, like, we're measuring success, we're measuring people like us. That's that external view. And, you know, meaning comes from within, and it comes from a connection to something bigger than yourself.
[00:16:57] Speaker A: I see it. This has been very fun.
[00:16:59] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:17:00] Speaker A: Like, awesome.
So in honor of our 100th episode. I wanted a song that celebrated our lives, that isn't looking back at these 100 conversations and like, oh, yay, we made it to 100, and that's it. But I really wanted it to speak to the life that we lived in this process, our willingness to ask better questions, and the choice that we continue to make by showing up whether clarity was there or not. But we gonna keep showing up.
[00:17:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Messy. Or whatnot.
[00:17:34] Speaker A: Or whatnot. A lot of. Or what?
[00:17:37] Speaker B: A lot of not knowing what's happening.
[00:17:39] Speaker A: So this song is like a beautiful reminder of that celebration and that this meaningful life isn't measured by how impressive it looks, but by how honestly it's lived. The song is I lived by one Republic.
[00:17:53] Speaker B: Oh, I don't even know if I know this.
[00:17:59] Speaker A: Check out this week's song on the YO Podcast playlist on Spotify.
[00:18:07] Speaker B: Hell, yes. That's how you want to feel at the end of the movie.
[00:18:12] Speaker A: Right at the end of the movie. Even in the middle of the middle.
Listen, I did it all. I owned every second that this world could give. I hope that you spend your days, but they all add up. Oh, I wanna.
I want that. I want to get to the end of it. I want to be in the middle of it. Like living with no regrets. Yes to the things that are meaningful.
[00:18:37] Speaker B: The things that are calling to you and lighting you up. Like saying yes to those and leaning into those more and more.
[00:18:44] Speaker A: That's what I want. That's what I want. All right.
[00:18:46] Speaker B: That is fulfillment.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: That is it. This brings us to our question of the day.
Oh, here we go.
[00:18:55] Speaker B: Oh, Lord, now.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: Oh, exactly.
Bet here.
[00:19:00] Speaker B: If you sigh, then I'm in deep trouble. Usually you say it and then I sigh. But now if you're sign before you even ask the question.
[00:19:07] Speaker A: Priest side. Okay.
What is one lesson your life has taught you that you don't want to forget?
[00:19:17] Speaker B: In every challenge is an opportunity, and there is always a silver lining. Love is all there is. Love is all that matters.
[00:19:28] Speaker A: The lesson I don't want to forget is you don't have to do this alone.
You need people, girl.
[00:19:35] Speaker B: That resonates.
We need people. We're the historical independent. I got it. Lone wolf. I can take care of it. I got it.
[00:19:42] Speaker A: I got it. I get it.
[00:19:44] Speaker B: You need people.
[00:19:45] Speaker A: You need people, and you don't have to do it alone.
[00:19:48] Speaker B: Love it.
[00:19:49] Speaker A: I have a quote from the Summer Day by American poet Mary Oliver, a question that feels like the heartbeat of our podcast, the heartbeat of our business, the heartbeat of how we live our life. Mary Oliver said, tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? That question isn't meant to pressure you. It's meant to wake you up gently.
And after 100 conversations on this podcast, what I know for sure is that most people aren't afraid of failing. They're afraid of living a life that doesn't feel like their own.
For a second.
[00:20:36] Speaker B: Like, deep down, that's what we're truly afraid of.
And we get stuck and paralyzed trying to cross that bridge. Right?
[00:20:48] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Doing this podcast with you has reminded me that meaning doesn't come from having it figured all out. It doesn't come from having the perfect podcast outline. It doesn't come from perfection at all. It comes from listening. It comes from telling the truth. It comes from choosing to be present.
[00:21:07] Speaker B: Presence. That was the word.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: Everything that we do.
[00:21:11] Speaker B: Yes, that was the word. I was thinking, like, I can't imagine doing this with anyone else. Like, I love being present with you and so open and, and vulnerable and supportive and listening and holding space for you, for me, for all of the listeners.
[00:21:34] Speaker A: So, Explorer, if this podcast has done anything, we hope that it's helped you feel less alone in your questions and more trusting of your inner voice. Thank you so much for walking this journey with us. Until next time, keep listening inward. Keep asking brave questions and living your life out loud.
[00:21:55] Speaker B: Yes, our friends, keep staying true to yourself, finding your joy, using all of those things as a guidepost to living your best, most fulfilling life. You are an authentically brilliant, unique power and presence and we need all of you, all of each of you to show up in the world. And we are going to tip the scales, my friends, tipping towards love. We love you so much. Take good care.
Thank you to Queenies in downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for welcoming us so warmly. Each week.
We'd like to give a shout out to Coco Cinnamon, the birthplace of 1023 Media and the yo podcast.
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