Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey Podcast, where your guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth.
Each week we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way.
Please note, this podcast should not replace medical care or advice.
We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists.
If you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions.
So, explorers, let's dive into today's episode.
Hey, explorers, it's Tara. Karen and I are really glad you're here today. The past couple of episodes, we've been talking about identity, the women who shaped us and the responsibility. That word of staying aligned with who we're becoming.
[00:01:08] Speaker B: That word is so heavy for me.
[00:01:11] Speaker A: No, we lightened it up. We lightened it up. I know we did. I know we renegotiated our relationship with it. So today we're talking about something that doesn't really get much attention in conversations about growth. It is how we sustain the life we're building.
[00:01:27] Speaker B: Sustaining the life we're building. Sustaining while building. While.
[00:01:33] Speaker A: While building.
[00:01:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:37] Speaker A: Becoming requires courage. Stewardship requires discipline. But sustaining the life you're building, that requires care.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:48] Speaker A: Yes, transformation gets celebrated, but sustainability rarely does. When I think about sustainability, I think about sustainability, eco, green, earth efforts, but it's something a little bit different, a little more grounded. When we're talking about sustainability in terms of growth and transformation and the life that you are building. We love the moment when something shifts. Ironically, we were just talking about that on the call. I likened myself to a corpse flower, but not in like, I'm only going to bloom once, but the moment that I am in bloom, people love to see that. People love to see, but they don't see everything that happens before that moment. They don't see the decision, they don't see the breakthrough, they don't see the clarity. And if I can say anything about this month here that we in, there's been a lot of decisions. Breakthrough and clarity in my life and Karen's life and I'm sure explore in your life as well.
[00:02:46] Speaker B: Yeah. This feels like the timely nature season for that as well. And I don't know, like, sustainability for a lot of people, it does resonate with off the grid and solar panels and eco care and all that. But isn't that really all the same? Because we are all energy in the same energy and the same organic matter. And if we're caring for our earth and the environment in that way, then it should I hate the word should. It then would follow that we are, can and are able to and must care for ourselves in that way. Which means as you have talked about a lot right from the deep roots all the way up through the stem
[00:03:28] Speaker A: all the way up through.
[00:03:29] Speaker B: So all of the blooming and the collapsing and the blooming and the collapse, the whole process is organic and, and the thing is like maybe no one's thinking about the watering and the fertilizing and the input and the care and all of the things that happen to make that atmosphere of thrive. But that's exactly what we need to create for ourselves. And especially as we're in transition and transformation, we really must hold on to that. What do I need to thrive and to continue and to sustain this growth centric experience which is my life?
[00:04:09] Speaker A: Yes, because if we don't build a life of sustainable growth that supports not just who we're becoming, but who we are as we're becoming that person, eventually we will burn out trying to do all of the things at once or to do all of the things a little bit late, like not setting the groundwork like you were saying to thrive in that life that you were blossoming into. That's what it is, blossoming.
[00:04:34] Speaker B: I think we get caught up in.
When I blank, then I will be happy, then I will be satisfied, then I'll be fulfilled, then I'll be in this moment right now. You are perfection, right?
Explorer Tara, Karen, we're all perfection in this moment. This moment is what we have and in this moment we're doing the best we can and we're remembering who we are. And if we can get back to that essence of remembering who we are in the truest, purest form of essence and energy and that we are love itself, then everything else will take care of itself. Like I really believe that.
[00:05:17] Speaker A: So when we talk about sustainability in terms of overall wellness, the phrase sacred wellness came to mind for me. So Karen, when you hear the phrase sacred wellness, what pops into mind for you?
[00:05:30] Speaker B: To me that means you are approaching your self care and your wellness and your identity from a 360 view that you are taking care of all of the aspects of self and there's a sacred, I think there's a sacred mission in that. There's sacred purpose to that.
It becomes sacred and it is sacred already.
[00:05:49] Speaker A: Yes. The sacred is the becoming of the, of the blossom, if you will. What you just said about like the 360 of wellness. So often I feel like wellness gets packaged into this performance, performative Wellness, where we talk about, you know, my morning routine is this. Or I've cultivated the perfect habits for an amazing life. I drink all of the green drinks. I write in all of the gratitude journals. And I'm not saying like that those things are bad or like, not good.
But I truly believe that Sacred Wellness isn't this aesthetic that you aspire to.
Like, it is structural, it is foundational. It's the systems, the rhythms and the boundaries that support the life you're living and building.
[00:06:34] Speaker B: It's so much more personal, I think, than this aspect, this skill, this routine, this process.
It's deeper.
[00:06:42] Speaker A: It's tailor made. Sacred Wellness is tailor made.
[00:06:45] Speaker B: Tailor made. Sacred Wellness.
[00:06:49] Speaker A: That's a tagline.
[00:06:50] Speaker B: I love it. That is a tagline.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: And for me, this season of Sacred Wellness has looked like recognizing when my calendar or body is out of alignment. Like, my priorities are not lining up with the vision of my life that I hold. Just recently I had that structured recovery week. I'm like, I'm not there and I'm not gonna just flip the switch and get there, you know, overnight, but I'm gonna work my way back into balance, back into the priorities that matter to me. Tailored, Tailored. Sacred Wellness.
I am fiercely protective of my quiet time. And then I also allow rest to be strategic instead of like the prize or indulgent.
Y'. All, that right there from a recovering cape wearer bearer creator, do or do or doer. I don't want to say it's not challenging because it's. It is different perspective shift that I have now about what it means to rest and how rest is more than just not doing work. How rest is how I feel, my spirit, how I. Soul care is a big part of rest for me now. So, like, yeah, for you? Yeah.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: I think that's important to notice because this past week, when I have just been like, gotta get horizontal, gotta take a nap. I have been hearing, though I know better. I've been hearing like way, way back in the back of my mind, like, you really need to be xyz. Like, are you like, really? You're going to take a nap? And I'm like, yeah, I gots to take a nap. I have to. I have to sit here and read this fiction book. Yes, that's. These are the things I do have to do right now. Thank you very much for your way back there. Concern and fear and what anxiety and whatever that is. But in this moment, I am choosing me and downtime and rest and it. But it's still. That voice was still there. That critical voice of like, are you sure you shouldn't be doing something else? I'm like, no, this is doing. I'm doing care and rest. I'm doing rest right now. I had to push back a little bit and. And offer myself that compassion and grace.
And I'm thinking if I am who I am and where I am on my journey, doing the work that I've done, still heard the echoes, that voice. I'm like, whoo. I mean, it must be megaphoning in people's eyes. Like, no, there's no rest. No time to rest. You can't rest. What are you doing? You're such a loser. God, you got, you know, like, oh, my God, like, what? Still hearing that voice after everything that I know and experience and all the lessons and skills, I'm like, wow, that shit.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: You're still here. Like, oh, you're still here. And I don't know if the voice ever goes away. You just know how to handle it. It's like, yeah, I acknowledge. I heard what you said, but you are not in control anym. Like, we are doing this for the good of us. And I know for me, there is a period of my life, and even sometimes now, where I find myself trying to push and sustain something in very unsustainable ways, which is where I end up. Like, baby, I'm spent. Like, the cup is past empty. Like, the bottom is gone. Like, there.
There ain't even.
[00:10:05] Speaker B: No, it's not even.
[00:10:07] Speaker A: Not even. Can't even feel it. It's so empty. Exactly. And in those out of alignment, in those unsust ways of living seasons, like, I've learned to value the balance. I've learned to value the intuitive listening to myself and what I know to be true. For I'm gonna keep saying it. This is my tailored, sacred wellness. Like, I. I've learned to trust the voice of saying, like, no, I'm gonna need to read a fiction book right now. The to do list is still there, but I don't need to do any of it in this moment.
[00:10:40] Speaker B: And I think that is the evolution of us is noticing and taking those small supportive actions. Right? Noticing, Yes, I hear that and I know that's there. But I'm going to do this because if I don't do this, I can't do that. So thank you very much. Have a nice day.
[00:10:59] Speaker A: And I noticed too, for myself, like, lately I've been diving into growth, being more than just the emotional or spiritual aspects of it, because we've done a lot of Work to get to where we are now. But there's also this retraining, this physiological component, this nervous system reset that I've had to get comfortable with because like my nervous system has had to learn how to live inside the life that I am building towards.
[00:11:25] Speaker B: Let's speak on that. Our nervous systems need to relearn how to be calm and supportive. And so even if we're doing all of this self care, there's part of our nervous system is like you're doing like we have to retrain our nervous system. That is the key.
[00:11:44] Speaker A: I preach that is because like if your life keeps expanding, but your rhythms and systems and ways of being never adjust, something gonna give. This house of cars will collapse. Well, at the end of the day, your nervous system, your brain, all of that is designed to keep you safe. And it's like if you are stepping outside of your comfort zone, that is inherently not safe to your nervous system. So you have to retrain your nervous system to be like, no, this is safe. This is how we live now. This is how we move. And the habit and the practice that comes along with that.
Is it the MasterCard? Like it's priceless. The commercial, like it is priceless once you get in the habit and the rhythm of supporting the life that you are building. And a big part of that is integration.
[00:12:26] Speaker B: Like, like in a way sort of abandoning what, Use your old operating system, right? And as you're adopting the new operating system and bringing it in and getting it online, there's gonna be that little bit of flutter and like, am I connect? Am I connected? I don't know, you know, what's happening because it's a lot to sort of unlearn or unplug from that and get to the new way being. It's a process and it takes time and we must give ourselves that.
Like, it's happening. Just stay with it. Just stay with it. I feel like it's like when a toddler's learning to walk. I'm like, just hang in there. Yep, you fell down. Yep. That's okay. That's okay. Because eventually you're going to be walking and eventually you're going to be running at whatever pace feels good for you.
[00:13:11] Speaker A: It's almost like we need to slow down so our life can catch up with our growth. Like we need to slow down so we can think through the systems and rhythms that support this growth that we are living in and will be living in.
[00:13:25] Speaker B: We're creating completely new systems, completely new ways of being which are really the Original ways of being. We are recreating operating systems, recreating how we function, literally. The more nervous system work I'm doing with this somatic therapist, the more I realized, oh, my God.
For decades, my nervousness, I am undoing decades. I thought it was like this entire
[00:13:54] Speaker A: life of nervous system training, the record that has been on loop.
[00:14:00] Speaker B: Yes.
I'm like, wow, I can't believe my session yesterday. I can't believe that just came up. Some of this stuff is not necessarily, like, traumatic or big or negative, but it's little blips of like, mm, no, your nervous system was like, that's. It wants to sort of default to the old operating system. And I just keep encouraging it and staying connected to it and be like, no, this is actually. This is the safe way. This is the regulated way. This is where we're headed. This is how we are being from now on. And I am here for you.
[00:14:30] Speaker A: Yes. Like, I was talking earlier about my calendar and how that looking at all the things that need to happen, and I could feel the old instinct creeping back in. The instinct to just push and, you know, to push and prove that's what the. To push that I can do all and prove that I can carry all of the things.
And I was like, hold on, girl. What are we doing? This version of you who's trying to live her life aligned doesn't measure strength that way anymore. She doesn't push and prove. She doesn't display her strengths as exhaustion. She uses strength as sustainability.
[00:15:12] Speaker B: That's a lot of masculine energy that wants to come through. When our feminine is like, saying, just flow, ease, receive, settle.
Right?
[00:15:22] Speaker A: And you said something really interesting earlier, too, about the purpose behind it. Like, there is such purpose behind approaching your wellness as sacred. There is a deep realization that these rhythms and these systems will support me and make this life sustainable for the long haul, where I'm not going to crash and burn, where I'm not going to give to the point of exhaustion. Like, y'. All.
[00:15:49] Speaker B: Like, we're not creating this platform, this.
Our individual lives and nervous systems and the extension of which that ripples to. We're not creating it for, like, a quick fix. We are creating this safe community and environment for people to show up as they are and to move in the flow and towards sacred wholeness and sacred wellness.
[00:16:15] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:16:16] Speaker B: And we, you and I, as the visionaries of that, need to embody that
[00:16:24] Speaker A: and live that and get that before the.
[00:16:27] Speaker B: Before we keep moving forward. Right.
[00:16:28] Speaker A: Hey, just tell y' all something. Be like, you know what would be really good for you is if you rested or if you paused or if you said no or if you just, you know, just didn't for a minute. While we're at the same time living the life of doing all the things we're we. It is not how that that would call us to be not so good stewards.
[00:16:49] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:16:50] Speaker A: And we want rest and recovery.
Yes. And rest and recovery. That is a part of our sacred wellness. And we want to continue to be good stewards. So it's really amazing that we learned this lesson now.
[00:17:04] Speaker B: It's part of our mission, not just for us, but for all. So that means we gotta do it. We gotta get that message. We gotta be doing that work, being okay with that.
[00:17:14] Speaker A: We gotta be okay with it. Oh, let me cue up our song. If you have anything else while I.
[00:17:19] Speaker B: I'm just loving this conversation. I love that we're both actually experiencing it in our own way right now, which happens so often. I know. I get it. That we're like, what? I can't believe it. But really, we can believe it. And it's timely because that's where we're supposed to be learning and growing so that we can share it. Right.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: So it's from lived experience, from immediate lived experience.
Like, right now, we are actually, like,
[00:17:45] Speaker B: in this moment, like, living it.
[00:17:48] Speaker A: All Right, here we go.
This amazing time that we are having right now. This song. You're gonna love it, Karen. I know. I know I am. You're gonna love this song. It is gonna have so much meaning for you. Okay, so sustaining and sacred wellness. Sustaining a meaningful life isn't about pushing harder. If you take nothing else away from this episode is that we're not pushing, we're not proving it. It sacred wellness and sustainability feel like love that continues, doing work that matters and the commitment to endure.
[00:18:20] Speaker B: This phrase that comes up in my book, I want to say it's open, allow, believe, let go, surrender, receive. There's so much surrender, right? And allowing ourselves to truly care for ourselves and our nervous system and our becoming.
[00:18:36] Speaker A: This song that I'm very excited to use to accompany this episode is Work Song by Hoiser.
Check out this week's song on the YO Podcast playlist on Spotify.
[00:18:57] Speaker B: There's, like, symbolism and tribal and, like, spiritual.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: It was like a heartbeat underneath. And then, like, I substitute like, I am my baby. Like, my purpose and my calling. That is, my baby is not demanding too much of me. Like, it's asking me to be devoted, to come as I am for that moment when my Time comes around to
[00:19:21] Speaker B: be dedicated and committed to that.
That wholeness, that sacred wholeness.
[00:19:27] Speaker A: It is the devotion to keep showing up when life is complicated.
[00:19:33] Speaker B: Right. Showing up for yourself as yourself.
[00:19:35] Speaker A: Oh, yes.
Thank you.
[00:19:39] Speaker B: And then hearing your voice singing, like, in the barrel, and I was, this is a sweet come to Jesus. I don't know what's happening right now, but I'm just soaking it up.
[00:19:47] Speaker A: Goosebumps all over. And I'm like, we gonna harmonize in the in between with the instrument, the heartbeat, like, the echoes.
[00:19:54] Speaker B: And I was, like, calling response to, like, explore. You have spiritual experience.
[00:20:01] Speaker A: Have your own spiritual experience through the work song. And reimagine, like, what you are working towards. Reimagine what you are devoted to, because
[00:20:11] Speaker B: hold your heart and your soul sacred. Love yourself. Listen to that song and just hold yourself center. Just. Aw.
[00:20:19] Speaker A: Yeah. And if you don't get it the first time, run it back again, because
[00:20:25] Speaker B: baptize yourself in that right there and
[00:20:27] Speaker A: let it soak in.
All right, now that we done come through the other side of the waters, it is time for today's question of the day.
Okay, here we go.
What sustains the life you're building?
Not what inspires it, not what started it, but what actually helps you keep
[00:20:51] Speaker B: going deep, knowing for me, the holding, the vision of intention and purpose aligned with my values and just breathing into that, like, returning to that. That is my lighthouse. That is my soul, lantern. That is, like, just returning to why I am here.
[00:21:15] Speaker A: Yeah. That guiding light, for me, it piggybacks off. Of course it piggybacks off of what you said. Like, how. How I get there. How do I get to the sustainability it is in those quiet, slow mornings, listening for the whispers, looking for the light. Like, that could be going on a walk that sometimes is just resting and being still.
A lot of times it's prayer, and it's like, lord, I don't know what I'm doing, how I'm gonna do it, but help, like, yeah, call on the
[00:21:44] Speaker B: guys and lay in their bed.
[00:21:46] Speaker A: Listen, I don't know what it is, but you do. So I'm just gonna wait. Okay? That's all I'm gonna do is I'm gonna be quiet and I'm gonna take it easy and stop trying to rush and push and prove that I got this all figured out. Because, right.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: Like, just like that, I intentionally like opening to being a receptor.
[00:22:06] Speaker A: That is the sustainability opening.
[00:22:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
Yeah. And you can't open unless you're relaxed and comfortable and rested enough to be vulnerable. Right. It's vulnerable to be open, to receive, to allow. Right. It's that divine feminine energy.
And unless you're allowing the space for that and the stillness, it's real hard to receive the next message, you know? Yeah, yeah, I love it. Yeah.
[00:22:35] Speaker A: Okay, so I have a quote from writer and baroness I just wanted to say. Baroness, right? It ain't even got nothing to do with nothing. But she also is a baroness. And I hope I'm saying this pen name correctly. It is Isaac Dennison says the cure for anything is salt water, sweat tears or the sea, y'. All.
Wow. Sweat tears or the sea or any
[00:23:07] Speaker B: combination of the above.
[00:23:09] Speaker A: Right? Sometimes at the same time. Yeah, yeah. Sweat to me, is the effort and discipline required for sacred wellness tears. Sometimes there's some grief when we get really honest about our emotions and how we're feeling. And then the sea, that's restoration, that is also perspective and all of these things, the effort, the emotional honesty and the restoration, all of it belongs in the rhythm of sacred wellness.
So, yeah, that's it, y'. All.
[00:23:41] Speaker B: Like, yeah, that sort of floating, buoyant feeling of being held by the sea is a magical and really just beautiful metaphorical vision of what it feels like to be at peace, completely aligned, knowing you're fully supported, knowing that you are the ocean in a drop.
[00:24:05] Speaker A: This has been great. I loved this conversation.
[00:24:09] Speaker B: Me too.
[00:24:10] Speaker A: Like, oh my goodness. Until next time, explore, care for the life you're building. And remember, growth isn't meant to exhaust you, it's meant to deepen you.
[00:24:20] Speaker B: Yes. And we are excited for you to experience that journey, that all of who you are coming forth. We are so happy for you. It's a beautiful thing to grow and be at peace and to be all of who we fully are.
So until next time, explorers, take good care.
Thank you to Queenies in downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for for welcoming us so warmly. Each week.
We'd like to give a shout out to Coco Cinnamon, the birthplace of 1023 Media and the yo podcast. Please support your local women owned minority owned coffee shop in downtown Durham, Brought to you by Durham based 1023 Media, a heart centered woman owned multimedia company.
