Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey podcast, where your guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth.
Each week, we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way.
Please note, this podcast should not replace medical care or advice.
We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists.
If you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions.
So, explorers, let's dive into today's episode.
Hey, explorers, it's Tara. Karen and I are so glad you're here.
[00:00:59] Speaker B: Really, really? Are we?
[00:01:01] Speaker A: Really, really, really are we?
[00:01:02] Speaker B: Really?
[00:01:03] Speaker A: We talked about the women who shaped us, you know, from inheritance to interruption, and how that evolves our identities.
Today is really about what happens after that, because sometimes once something inside of you wakes up, you have a responsibility with what you do with that awakening.
[00:01:28] Speaker B: That seems to be my problem right now, explorers.
I know, and I have accepted the responsibility, and now I'm acting like a toddler.
That's. I feel. I was like, you know what?
[00:01:43] Speaker A: Oh, like, when you try to feed them and they're like, their mouth is like.
This episode, you get to witness what we share, what we unfold as we go through it. Today is about stewardship. It's about how stewardship feels like tending. And tending is oftentimes quieter and slower than we expect it to be. I'm laughing at myself because of how this has shifted in the planning and the.
[00:02:15] Speaker B: You felt it coming.
[00:02:16] Speaker A: Okay, so quick backstory. Like, these episodes are, and out roughly a quarter in advance. And then as you get closer, like, there's a listening, there's an awareness. There's a lot of time shifting in what we originally thought we were going to be talking about to something that is very timely and relevant accidentally.
[00:02:37] Speaker B: But even though the listening really is, that's the connection to the bigger picture, which therefore leads us to, oh, we were here anyway.
[00:02:45] Speaker A: This is where we're actually going. I'm laughing and giving that little backstory because this is a question that I added in last night. And I'm like, today, today especially, this is great. So, Karen.
[00:02:57] Speaker B: Oh, great.
Explorers, you might want to buckle up.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: So, Karen, when you think about this season of your life, what has shifted from inspiration to responsibility?
Literally, last night, Karen, Literally.
[00:03:18] Speaker B: Honestly, too much, right?
Like, when I am living in that flow state, that connected, coherent state of inspiration and. And listening and creating out of that and awareness, that is a beautiful thing for me.
So for me, when it becomes clear that, like, that I owe this to Myself and that I owe this to the world, that this is sort of.
This is what I bring.
It's a tricky dance because then that becomes responsibility, which historically, for me is very heavily weighted negatively.
So I think the idea of being in that creative flow space and then accepting and owning, like, who I am as a sovereign being over my experience and what I bring to this big old Broadway show we're all putting on, if I can look at it as more of an honor and a right and, you know, understand it from that perspective, it helps me when things start feeling weighty.
I know it means that I'm getting more out of alignment. So I have a funny relationship with that word responsibility.
[00:04:44] Speaker A: As you were talking in your answer, I was like, we really. We collectively as people, not just me. And you have to really renegotiate or re.
Relearn what? Or unlearn. That's what I'm looking for. Unlearn. Unlearn the weightiness of responsibility. Because there is something different between what you said, like an honor and the duty of it. Like, responsibility always feels heavy, especially if you are used to being the person in your family that carries all of the things, that has all of the answers, that has. Hey, Tara. Strong, capable one. I'm retired. The cape. And I'm like, oh, the cape is coming back. And I don't like that, because right there is an unlearning that has to happen when we think about the word responsibility. And the reframe of honor feels easier to manage as we unlearn the weightiness of that word. Responsibility.
[00:05:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Even duty. When you said that, like, I felt that as a spiritual calling. Duty, like a duty to self. I like. But responsibility, God, I just get pulled right into the everyday adulting world of, oh, just. Oh, I can't even. But, like, yeah. Owning the really. Honestly, the gift that it is. It really is a gift. Right. When we're in a better space and we can look at it, we're like, this is something that I. It is part of me, and I get to bring this. I am responsible in that way for my taking action from this place.
Yeah. It's a funny. It's a fun relationship with that word.
[00:06:25] Speaker A: You know, it is such a funny relationship with that word. And what you said about the heaviness, like, when you feel heavy, like, that's the indicator to you, like, there is some misalignment somewhere. Our case this morning, today, in this moment, almost everywhere.
[00:06:41] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's the clue to me to, first of all, change it up. Go do something, like, unexpected that is light and fun and easy, that brings me great joy, and then come back to it. Like, you know, it's just like, okay, something's out of whack, so just take off the cape. Whatever it is you're feeling, like it's your duty, like in a heavy way to do, and just have fun.
[00:07:06] Speaker A: Bring back the light. Bring the light back into this. So last week, when I was sharing my chapter on Suddenly K and I was thinking about me before and in my Adele voice from the other side of that, like, before that night, before the clarity, before the confirmat, like, there was this tension that lived in my head and my heart, which is sometimes they not in agreement. Sometimes they're like, well, my head knows what my heart don't know, or my heart knows in my head, but on the other side of that, I can look back and see. I definitely felt called, but there was a doubt, a measure of being unsure. And is this really what I'm supposed to do, or.
Tara, everything is working in your life. Why would you want to disrupt it in that manner when it's not even really a disruption when you are called to steward something? Well, it's not a disruption when you get to live your dreams out loud because your dreams don't necessarily inconvenience someone else. What is the inconvenience is when you don't live your dreams out loud.
[00:08:16] Speaker B: Yeah, and that's the thing that is, I think, the humanity piece of it. We get in the way. We hear the thing, we hear the nudge, the call, the little sign, the little something, and then we go.
Really, though? Because pretty comfy right now. Comfort is the kiss of death.
Certainty is the kiss of death. We want to be living in a place of moving forward and growing. Life is a growth centric experience, my mentor says, and I love that because it's not about your comfort and it's not about certainty. It's about bringing all of who you are.
And sometimes that feels a little scary, and sometimes that feels like responsibility and sometimes you just want to stay in bed.
Sometimes I go like, maybe somebody else
[00:09:06] Speaker A: will do this, so you are actually that somebody else. And then there's this tricky thing that we do too. When we are being pulled out of our comfort zones, where we begin negotiating our expansion, where it's like, well, I'll do this, but maybe not all of this. Or I'll do step one, but not step two, or can we skip straight to step three? Like, we start putting parameters around what it is to live out that dream, and it's like, sir, ma', am, sir,
[00:09:31] Speaker B: ma', am, that is not. That is not the way of the universe.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: That. And I am constantly amazed at how.
I don't want to say easy, because there's nothing about the tending, the stewardship, the pulling up the things that don't belong that feels easy, but there's a boldness in saying yes that, Karen, you and I have talked about many times before. Like when we said yesterday is we didn't we just put the yes on the table? That's it. Right.
[00:10:00] Speaker B: That's it. And then left, walked out the room.
[00:10:03] Speaker A: Oh, we're in. Yeah. Like, it's.
[00:10:05] Speaker B: It's funny. Yeah. When things are aligned, when it feels right, when it's a yes, when it's coherent, when head and heart are aligned, it's simple.
[00:10:15] Speaker A: I think that's what it is.
[00:10:16] Speaker B: Right. It's. It's not necessarily easy. And the actions that follow aren't necessarily easy, but they're apparent aligned. And so it's just one at a time, one step at a time.
[00:10:27] Speaker A: Yeah. So it's like the boldness isn't in saying the yes, it's staying in the
[00:10:33] Speaker B: yes, the perseverance of the yes, and it's staying true to that yes in what way that might shift or pivot.
[00:10:42] Speaker A: And it's like saying staying with the habits that match the identity that you've claimed, the idea, the belief, the truth that allows alignment to reshape your days. You and I have been really. Is it an idiom, like the tail wagging the dog? There's been a lot of tail wagging the dog.
[00:10:59] Speaker B: There has been. There's been a lot of. It feels like almost brute force. Right. Like we're like, we got something backwards, something.
[00:11:06] Speaker A: This is the beautiful invitation for all of us to be okay, to be grounded, to be settled in that the life that you're living now is. And the things that you are responsible for are exactly what you asked for.
And I'm looking at myself.
[00:11:26] Speaker B: You're Did. You're like, did I. Is that what I said?
[00:11:29] Speaker A: No, this is actually exactly what you asked for in the becoming, in the shedding, in the rising from the ashes. Like, oh, yeah, let's do it. Let's go up. But when you on the other side, it's like, oh, I have to be faithful to the thing that I said and what that looks like and the
[00:11:45] Speaker B: things I be willing to let go of, how it's going to unfold or how it's going to look, because it Might not look anything like we thought when we said that originally, but we still know that the yes is coming through. And that's when we lean into trust. That's when we lean into faith. Of like, okay, said yes, and I'm handing it off again. My mentor says, hand it off to your chief how Officer. You know, the what?
Hand off the how.
[00:12:15] Speaker A: I need to speak to the Cho.
[00:12:17] Speaker B: I'd like to speak to my Cho. I've been talking. My Cho this past four days has been on making like. I have a direct speed dial. I like speed dial. I'm like, cho, you got this, right? You guys? Okay? I just wanted to check in. See. See a chicken. Now my teacher's starting to get a little annoyed with that because they're like, I literally said the first time, I've got it. So it's my job to relax, to breathe, to trust, to take action from that quiet place of knowing stewardship.
[00:12:45] Speaker A: It sounds beautiful. It's like, oh, I was a good steward of this. Da, da, da, da, da. But we don't always talk about or think about or remember that stewardship actually has a weight to it. When we stop negotiating with our callings, with our purpose, with our identity, things undoubtedly shift inside. Things shift in the places and the spaces that we used to be. Like, we don't fit everywhere the same way. And as I'm saying this out loud, I'm wondering if some of the friction that is being felt is because we're trying to fit everywhere the same way.
[00:13:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
Right? Or in a way that we thought we were supposed to fit.
[00:13:28] Speaker A: Right. In a way thought we were supposed to fit, or in a way that someone told us we should fit.
There it is.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: I found something there. Yeah. Yeah. There's something in that to explore, this guy. The mind, Bless its heart. Bless its little heart. The mind is, like, trying to, you know, get all the pieces figured out and put it in place and make it make sense. We talk. We, like, make it make sense.
[00:13:55] Speaker A: Make it make sense.
[00:13:56] Speaker B: You say that all the time, like, make it make sense. I'm like, I don't know if I can.
And the heart's like, whatever's going on up there, it doesn't affect what's really happening here. Right. Which is much more of a. An energetic piece that is, you know, intangible and invisible right to the naked eye. So that's where that trust piece comes in. And the commitment to it. The commitment to it, even if you don't know what it ultimately will look
[00:14:22] Speaker A: like, and we don't and we got to be okay with it. And I think there's also this other thing that we don't talk about enough, is that when we are growing, it's tempting to package our growth or put this beautiful shiny label on it and say, you know, these are my boundaries now. I'm still a nice person, or I'm still who I used to be, when, no, you're not.
[00:14:47] Speaker B: And that's actually better, and that's actually good.
[00:14:50] Speaker A: I'm still the same. No, you're not. And sometimes being good stewards or stewarding your gifts, your calling your alignment well, means resisting the urge to package it into something palatable for everyone else. Y' all done heard me say it before. Let them choke.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: Like, I'm thinking about that visual of stewarding the land, right? Like, of people who steward the land, who in whatever capacity. It's like stewarding the land, Mother Earth, taking care of her. You still can't assume you know what's best, right? Like, sometimes we just have to blindly be like, I think this is what needs to happen, and it's not gonna come up looking like you might have thought it was gonna look. And we just have to be okay with that.
It's a scary place for a lot of us to be, right? Uncertainty feels. What's the word? Uncertain.
[00:15:41] Speaker A: Uncertainty feels exactly what it is.
[00:15:44] Speaker B: Like, exactly what it is. And that's why it feels. Because we like to hold on to what we know. We like to hold on to, like, our mind's like, no, that's not familiar. That's terrifying. That's death, right? And sometimes, yeah, there are aspects of your identity that you do, in fact, have to die. Like, just completely separate from, to be able to step into the wholeness and the fullness of who you actually are, which is not what your mind thinks, and it's not your current identity.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: And that type of alignment, it don't need no applause. It doesn't need anyone else's permission. It doesn't need your understanding of how it's all going to work out. It just needs you to show up and stay in what you were called to steward.
[00:16:30] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm going to use the. You know, if, you know, you know what it is, you don't need anybody else to tell you what it is. You know what it is. In those wee small hours and those quiet moments, those reflections and that stillness and that nudges you and the nudges, you know, what no longer serves you, you know, the pieces that need to sort of slink away and There is like, just, you know, bright, new, shiny, all kinds of goodness underneath that.
[00:16:59] Speaker A: So bright, new, shiny goodness underneath. I love the bright new shiny goodness underneath. And we. You forget.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: Yes. I mean, I'm talking to us. I'm talking to me right this second. I'm like, oh, yeah, right there is. Oh, my gosh.
[00:17:13] Speaker A: So.
[00:17:13] Speaker B: So many gifts, so much abundance, so much growth. This is just a temporary, like, bit stuck, you know, in that. Like you ever see in a movie when they have that really dramatic scene where the people are, like, under the bridge in the road and it's pouring rain on both sides and you're stuck under that and you're like, how am I going to get out of here? You're like, you just wait it out. Just wait it out. It's the. The rain is going to stop, the daylight will come, the sun will shine, and you can walk over to the park or wherever you were headed.
[00:17:45] Speaker A: It's just a little temporary, temporary rain is going to happen. Because when you said it's like, stewarding the land and I said something earlier about tending and all of that implies slow, steady, faithful pursuit.
[00:18:00] Speaker B: Right.
And it doesn't mean there aren't going to be weeds coming up through there because they are also like, oh, I kind of like this. Thank you for preparing this for me. And be like you used to be here.
So it's action every day in some way, keeping your eye on that goal, that vision, that destination that you feel so full in your heart as who you truly are and what you're here to bring, what you're here to share.
[00:18:28] Speaker A: That's the new question in the morning. What is one thing I can do today to move towards that vision? And then at the end of the day, did I. I may or may not have done that one thing, but I've set that intention in the morning and I look back and I'd be like, yep, it wasn't what I thought it was going to be, but this thing did move me closer towards that.
[00:18:47] Speaker B: Yes, ma'. Am.
[00:18:48] Speaker A: All right. I have a song for this episode from a Swedish folk duo.
The song is My Silver Lining by First Aid Kid.
Can we the the the title of the song, first of all?
And then as soon as you said
[00:19:11] Speaker B: it, I was like, yeah, the name of the group, First Aid Kit. I'm like, I think this is exactly what we all need right now.
Oh, I can't wait to hear it, because I feel like I need some bomb for my soul.
[00:19:23] Speaker A: Here's the bomb is coming. Here we go.
Check out this week's song on the YO Podcast playlist on Spotify.
[00:19:38] Speaker B: Okay, so, like, bluegrass, country, western, by way of Sweden. First of all, that's a thing.
[00:19:44] Speaker A: And.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: And then second of all, like, I love the message. And also, like, we think it doesn't have to be. Like, we think it has to not be easy. But I really believe in this point in my life that when we are aligned and committed and connected, it actually is easy because it's the most natural thing in the world for us to all.
[00:20:06] Speaker A: You're not swimming upstream. It is so much easier to let the river carry you where you're going to go than swimming or paddling or living in that constant friction of what is not aligned and trying to control.
Like, listen, I don't know what them sisters, like, what is happening in Sweden? Did y' all grow up there? Like, and just how many words in the phrase.
[00:20:34] Speaker B: It was so great. She was like, there was just so much.
[00:20:37] Speaker A: There is hope. I am living in my silver lining. That is the constant choice to see the good, to be grateful for. Even the awareness of what is and is not in alignment.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: Yeah. How we look at something, the story we tell about it shifts whether we feel great or not.
And so, like, why not choose? Like, this thing is occurring in my life, and I'm going to see what benefit, right? What growth, what beauty and joy there is there for me in this seemingly challenging time.
[00:21:14] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, so I have today's question, which is going to probably make me cry.
I don't know. Last episode when I was crying. So I feel like, tag, you're. It is your turn. Like, so good.
[00:21:26] Speaker B: If you haven't heard the previous episode, y' all need to check it out.
[00:21:29] Speaker A: So it's going to maybe feel like a negative, but it is actually a positive. The question is, what is staying aligned costing you?
[00:21:42] Speaker B: My old self, My old identity, my very, very limited, small, disconnected self. And honestly, good riddance. But also, also, it feels like loss.
[00:21:56] Speaker A: You said it feels like loss. You know where my answer is going with this? Is in the grief of being misunderstood.
And I don't mean that in a conflict way. Like, we're not seeing eye to eye. Like that moment when you kind of what we said earlier, there are spaces and places and people, places and things that you don't entertain of alignment. You realize that someone. You may have known them a long time or they are attached to this other, this older identity of you, and you realize that they are still relating to you from that identity and not who you are now. And you could try to fight and be like, no, that's not who I am. Or just be okay with the grief of being misunderstood. You don't show up in stewardship. You don't tend well by not having some level of awkwardness. But you have to decide, do you explain yourself back into alignment or do you let the misunderstanding exist while you stay aligned?
[00:22:59] Speaker B: Yeah, no explanation necessary, ma'. Am.
[00:23:01] Speaker A: And the grief and the loss associated with that alignment will cost you familiarity, not just with other people, but within yourself. And I believe 100 wholeheartedly that that cost is always worth paying every single time.
[00:23:19] Speaker B: Absolutely. Agreed. Say that as we are like, checking.
[00:23:23] Speaker A: As we. Right.
[00:23:24] Speaker B: As we are checking out, we're like, oh, this is a call.
[00:23:26] Speaker A: See?
[00:23:26] Speaker B: Yep, got it. Okay. Shell it up. It's okay. I'm cool with it. I'm cool, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's, it is, it's always.
I really do believe it is of the highest good.
[00:23:38] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:23:39] Speaker B: Ain't easy. Simple ain't easy.
[00:23:41] Speaker A: It is. Simple is not easy. I have a quote from writer Annie Dillard.
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
Stewardship isn't dramatic.
Maybe it's showing up on a Tuesday, listening to your favorite podcast.
Maybe it's in a good habit that you cultivate. Maybe it's in the boundary that you hold. Maybe it's in you, not over explaining yourself back out of alignment.
[00:24:13] Speaker B: Maybe it's in you just holding on to accepting that you are growing, you are shifting, and you are most definitely allowed and invited to do so.
[00:24:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Because I mean, it really matters how we spend our days.
[00:24:30] Speaker B: Cumulative. Yeah, it's cumulative. Absolutely.
[00:24:33] Speaker A: This has been amazing. So until next time, steward. Well, what's been entrusted to you and let your ordinary days tell the truth about who you are now.
[00:24:44] Speaker B: Right. Like it's in the details. Right. It's in the small stuff. It's in the way that you show up, that I show up, that we show up. And it's in the way that we allow our identity to shift as we come home to ourselves. I think that is really the greatest permission we can give ourselves. So with that, explorers, welcome home.
We love you. Thanks for being here with us. Take good care.
Thank you to Queenies in downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for welcoming us so warmly each week.
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