Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey Podcast, where your guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth. Each week we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way.
Please note this podcast should not replace medical care or advice. We are not licensed health care professionals or mental health therapists.
If you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions.
So, explorers, let's dive into today's episode.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: Welcome explorers. It's Tara. Today, Karen and I are unpacking transitions.
[00:01:00] Speaker C: Unpacking transitions.
[00:01:02] Speaker B: I love that life is full of shifts. New jobs, big moves, relationship changes. These shifts can stir up a whirlwind of emotions, from uncertainty to excitement. It's crucial to recognize that transitions are a natural part of life. They are not just obstacles to overcome, but essential experiences that shape who we are. Embracing these moments can help us navigate them with greater ease and understanding.
[00:01:32] Speaker C: Yeah, I love the way you said that. Make it not be so freak out oriented, but just be like, oh, this is a natural part. Just like the seasons come and go, things rise and fall, yada yada, ebb and flow, there's all these signs in nature that this is just how it rolls and human get into their heads and then they get all bunched up about it and we get fixated on wanting to stay in our comfort zone, but also wanting to be in the new place. It's that bridge, that liminal space between the old and the new paradigm that can really freak us out if we don't expect it and prepare for it.
[00:02:13] Speaker B: Would you believe us if we told you that every transition is a doorway to a new chapter in your life? Transitions hold incredible potential for growth and transformation. Transformation.
[00:02:24] Speaker C: So good.
[00:02:25] Speaker B: So grab your journal and a comfy seat and let's get started.
I'm saying that to myself as much as I'm saying it to Karen and to you explorers.
[00:02:35] Speaker C: True, we're both in transition periods. We're all always in transition periods. But sometimes we think we're gonna ride this for a little bit. But things are constantly changing, evolving. That's just the nature.
[00:02:45] Speaker B: So transitions are those changes from one state or condition or stage to another. Each transition carries its own unique challenges and experiences. I pulled out three very specific transitions that.
[00:03:01] Speaker C: Why are you laughing? I feel like you're already big on your face and I'm like, what is waiting for me?
[00:03:08] Speaker B: All right.
[00:03:09] Speaker C: Oh God.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: First, I love it. It's like trying to ease you into this conversation. It's Going to be fun. It's going to be light.
[00:03:18] Speaker C: I'm excited.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: It's gonna be, yes. This is the excitement for transition. All right.
[00:03:23] Speaker C: I love it.
[00:03:23] Speaker B: So one transition is a life stage transition. These occur as we navigate through different phases of life. Events like graduating from school, entering the workforce, becoming a parent, or retiring are all significant transitions that often redefine our identities and roles in society. Life stage transitions. What, my dear sister, do you have to say about life stage transitions?
[00:03:52] Speaker C: You're just gonna leave it wide open like that, aren't you?
[00:03:55] Speaker B: I absolutely am. I am.
[00:03:56] Speaker C: Well, I will say a few things. One is they're wonderful and beautiful. Two is they're necessary. And three is I've had so many. Yeah, I've had so many. And each one comes with its own challenges, but also its own gifts. Just gems and nuggets of, oh, yeah, this is good. There's a freedom, I think, that happens as we transition, as we get older each decade. There are just gifts of the moments, gifts of the season. Oftentimes when we pigeonhole ourselves in one phase of our lives, it's almost like, especially in my life, I'm just playing catch up. I'm just like running all the bases all the time because I guess there's a feeling in my heart that I'm making up for lost time. Now I know that that concept of lost time is. That doesn't feel right when I say it because not only is time not lost, it's really not even real. So it's just really my experience that's a little bit of a panic, That's a little bit of a fear mode, focus. But once you make these transitions enough, and if you have people in your life, especially as a younger adult, that model for you, you can go through these phases and these transitions, and you're not gonna blow up or melt or die, any combination of those things. And there wasn't a whole lot of transition modeled for me. I would say things were pretty status quo. The biggest transition was my father dying when I was young. I don't think anyone would necessarily handle that well because it's so big and traumatic and so very definitive. Humans are thrown into. In a. In a life phase that maybe aren't expected or sort of natural for that time of your life. But in general, I have always loved change and welcomed change. And I don't know if that's part of my neuro way of being and the way I process the world, but I love change. I actually love change. And there was a long time That I was just sort of standing still, and it was not good for me standing still. How about you, my dear?
[00:06:21] Speaker B: Life stages. As I currently navigate many simultaneously.
[00:06:27] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:06:28] Speaker B: There is a visual that comes to mind as navigating different stages of life. Like a nesting doll. There is this first layer, and the more we live, the more we grow, the more we learn, like, the closer we get to who we are designed to be. So that's, like, when I think life stages, I'm like, well, all right. Took out that big layer. Now I'm going down a little bit deeper and a little bit deeper into the core of who I am. Looking back at my life and navigating those life stage transitions of being out on your own, being in the world, doing things for yourself, navigating the change in relationships. Like, all of that makes me who I am right now, the core of who I am. And I'm like, yeah, bring it on. Like, that's a cool transition.
[00:07:15] Speaker C: I love that image. That is such a great image of taking off cloaks. You're just sort of taking off the coats. Taking off the coats until you get down to, oh, there you are.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: And then for a good portion of my life, I lived behind the mask of who I thought people wanted me to be or who they needed me to be. And then as I navigate the transitions on my own of the life stages, it's like, that doesn't fit. That's not true. So nesting dolls.
[00:07:39] Speaker C: I love it.
[00:07:40] Speaker B: Every face. And it's amazing. Mm.
[00:07:43] Speaker C: Oh, it's exciting, right?
[00:07:45] Speaker B: Yeah. That's why I got the big smile. I'm like, transitions. Yes, please.
Another big transition that we may experience. Career shifts. This may involve moving to a new job, changing careers entirely, or adapting to developments within a current work environment. Career shifts can be prompted by personal choice, economic factors, or company restructuring.
[00:08:09] Speaker C: I think you need to talk about.
[00:08:11] Speaker B: This recent career shifter.
The career shift was happening at the same time that I was changing decades, which. That in and of itself is monumental because you do, like, a mini assessment, like, oh, okay, but where am I going for the next decade? Where was I? The beginning of this decade that I'm just closing out of. So to think of changing careers, moving to entrepreneurship, there's a certain beauty in reclaiming my time that I did not have previously. My time always belonged to someone else. And that mindset shift spills over into other areas of my life because, again, to the nesting effect. I'm becoming more of who I was designed to be. So, okay, title change. That doesn't change who I am like.
[00:09:00] Speaker C: You'Re the constant amidst the flow. You are who you are, whether you're in that setting or this setting. What you carry through is your beingness. That's the red thread. Anything that comes your way is not going to shift you in a terrible or dramatic or negative way, because you are anchored in who you are.
[00:09:18] Speaker B: Absolutely. Early on, it was about proving myself, proving that I deserve a seat at the table. Thank you for inviting me to the table and let me prove my worth at this table. Now I'm bringing the table with me. Like, sit down, don't sit down, whatever.
[00:09:32] Speaker C: You're like, it's my table now. It's just my table. Maybe I'll invite you and maybe I won't.
[00:09:38] Speaker B: Right? Yeah. So that's an interesting space to be in as I grow into who I am. Yeah.
[00:09:45] Speaker C: And it's so interesting how you and I both have these work transitions happening in various ways, stepping into more of who you are and that purpose calling area of your life, and then balancing that with the basic human needs of our existence. And the thing that really is carrying both of us is that we are focusing on our truth and what is true for us, and that's what we're keeping as our North Star. And I think that helps alleviate any doubts, fears, stress, or anxiety involved in the. Oh, my gosh, what does this look like? As long as you have you're focused on where it is you are heading and it feels very aligned for you, then really nothing else can get in the way.
[00:10:37] Speaker B: Except for you. You are the only person that could.
[00:10:40] Speaker C: Get in the way, especially our minds, our brains. And we are complicated beings, for sure. Like, for me, when I became an entrepreneur the first time, I had no doubt that that's what I needed to do. I had no fear around it, but, boy, the reactions I was getting were like, are you crazy? Are you outta your mind? What are you doing? This is a terrible time. And I'm like, I just gotta do it. I don't know what's waiting on the other side, but it's telling me to go, so I'm gonna listen to that. And I think that we can trust that.
[00:11:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:12] Speaker C: Also, what I love about what's happening in the younger generations, and I know there are a few things that people in the workforce are like, oh, those millennials, they're so entitled, whatever. But they have a beautiful picture of, I'm not stuck in this. I get to choose. I have my say about whether this is the kind of environment I want to work in. And What I will and won't stand in terms of compensation and environment and communication, and I'm teaching my children it's okay. You can graduate with whatever degree or trade. You're probably going to change it every two, three, five years. So just be okay with that transition and you're good to go.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: Here's a big one where I feel like you may take the lead on this transition. This transition is relationships. Changes in our relationships, whether new friendships, romantic partnerships, or losses such as breakups, or experiencing the loss of loved ones, can deeply affect our emotional landscape.
[00:12:16] Speaker C: All right, sister, there's a lot to say here.
[00:12:19] Speaker B: Take your time. I feel like we in church. Take your time, Karen.
[00:12:23] Speaker C: Yeah, just feel it. Breathe into it before I preach.
So relationships, like everything, are energy. I look at my daughter almost heading into her fourth year of college, and I'm thinking, how did this happen? And I'm watching our relationship evolve, and it just feels very natural. I'm not consumed by it or concerned or worried. I just know that the connection that we have is deep and true and will last through all of the transitions. I feel that deep in my heart there are other relationships in my life that are more transitory. We can feel sometimes very attached to someone, and people aren't necessarily in our lives for the long haul.
If you have a handful of people who are your people, who are there through thick and thin, who see you for who you truly are, who show up for you, who give as much as they receive, if you have this deep connection with a handful of people, you are the wealthiest person in the world. Those relationships are the most important. Those are the ones that will sustain you through the challenging times. Those are the people that show up for you when you need it, when you call, when you ask. I'm just picturing that night I called you and you were like, all right, give me 10 minutes. I gotta. I am like, you were in the car before I even said. I actually need you to come over. My heart is big and open, and I do tend to share it fairly easily. I trust people and I trust love, and I trust the nature of life. I don't exist in relationship or any aspect of my life from a place of fear. So when you trust love, even if it's transitory, even if it's temporary, even if it's transactional, I still trust that something important happened or is to be gained from this. Since my divorce seven, eight years ago, I have fallen in love with myself. I have become whole unto myself. I was always looking outside of myself for Validation or love or support from other people and didn't really understand until then. My cancer diagnosis probably started all of this really deep transitional work. But now I see that I am perfectly imperfect. And I love and honor who I am in this moment and who I am becoming in every moment. That is the most important relationship that I will ever be in from this place. This is where I stand as I look for someone to share my life with.
And that is a really great place to be in because I don't feel well now, I've learned, but I don't feel like I have to force anything, Feel like I can be in a place of receptivity, of feminine nature, just being myself and being whole and showing up in the world. The person who is lucky enough to spend a significant period of time with me is going to be the person that really can see me and unconditionally love all of the aspects of me, especially the messy bits.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: I love that there is so much that you said I'm trying to catch up in my brain about what I want to react to. Relationships with our kids, it's a beautiful thing to learn from them as they figure out their way in the world. We seek to be these beautiful role models of self love and self care. But at the same time, mothering my kids, I've learned so much about who I am and what I'm capable of by being their mother. I've learned so much about myself. Like, oh, and I love what you said about the next generation teaching us what to stand for, how to stand for what we believe in. There is a foundation of truth and joy and love. Looking at their willingness to stand in that, it's just like, oh, okay, they are unashamed, like, yeah, this, me, I'm not taking that. I'm not doing that. I will do this, I won't do that. And it's like, okay, be empowered, Be empowered. Stand in that other side of that. Thinking of generations past, the less lessons that we learned from them as well. I think about my grandmothers, I think about my parents, I think about my grandfathers as well. Like, what they endured so I could be here is just like, okay, what other choice do I have but to show up as me?
[00:17:29] Speaker C: Like, honoring that lineage, honoring the ancestors.
[00:17:32] Speaker B: So that's what I heard. That's what I was able to pull back down from what you said. And at the center of all of these transitions, be it career or life and relationships, remembering that you are at the center of that and that you, as a divine being in this experience have the capacity to handle all of it.
Yeah, that's what came down.
[00:17:58] Speaker C: Wow. We have the capacity to handle what comes our way, whether we perceive it as positive or negative, joyful or distressing. Really.
Not that it doesn't matter. I'm not making light of it, but it's not the point.
All of the things that we experience are to help us grow, learn, and deepen our connection with ourselves, to learn to love and care for ourselves. Because it is not until we do that that we can actually stand in any relationship in wholeness and vulnerability and strength.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: Yeah. And it's important to remember as we navigate these transitions, whatever feelings come up, those feelings are valid always. And you're not alone in how you feel in response to a transition.
[00:18:52] Speaker C: Yeah, I love that. Always when the feelings come up, acknowledge and express them in whatever way feels good for you, even if that's moving your body to move it out. Because that's such an important facet of our experience, growth and health. To just allow ourselves to feel things. We don't have to swamp in it for days and weeks and years, but it's important to feel it and then move with it.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: So as we understand our transitions, both intellectually and emotionally, we're better equipped to face these shifts in life with greater clarity and confidence, ultimately shaping us into the individuals we're meant to become. That is the thing that comes with time and experience, the confidence to face whatever it is that's coming your way. Because you do know intellectually that you're able to handle it.
[00:19:45] Speaker C: Right. I guess it's different for everybody as to what physical yearly age are when they experience this. But there comes a point when you appreciate yourself and love yourself so much and you know who you are, that nothing from the external world can. Can shake that. For instance, I was really tired the other night and was talking a little bit of nonsense here or there because I was so tired. And the next day I was like, yeah, so I'm a little weird. And you saw that. But I really love who I am, and it's taken me this long to really get there. The person was like, I think it's great. I think it's really how it should be. We were just connecting on the fact that no matter how long it takes you to become comfortable in your own skin, you do get there. It is the most magnificent place to sit.
[00:20:34] Speaker B: Magnificent and magnetic. I think people should be willing to be weird off the gate that way. No one's surprised. Later on down the road in this relationship, whatever it Is right.
[00:20:45] Speaker C: No surprises. I'm like, no surprises.
[00:20:47] Speaker B: Like, this is it. If you can handle this weirdness at this level, then, okay, you might be one of those people that you were talking about that will show up with the reciprocity. Like, you can handle it and not be weirded out that I'm being weird like you.
[00:21:00] Speaker C: It doesn't really phase you. Right. You're just like, okay, cool. You know, I was feeling a little. A little self conscious. I got a little weird there. I don't know if you noticed. And also, I was probably a little anxious, so, you know, sorry or whatever. I didn't actually apologize, but Texas is.
[00:21:16] Speaker B: Stay weird, Austin. Like, just stay weird.
[00:21:19] Speaker C: Stay weird. I love that. Right. I gotta imagine that you.
[00:21:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:23] Speaker C: You just show it. All right. And I think it just takes another mature being who sees their value and their worth to be able to see yours. Yeah.
[00:21:33] Speaker B: And sometimes it's just two beings willing.
[00:21:36] Speaker C: Okay, you just blew my mind there. It's not necessarily that you're already there, but that you're willing to be in that liminal place at the same time.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Ask my husband. I came in on the Hot Mess Express because of all of the other transitions that didn't quite go, oh, interesting.
[00:21:59] Speaker C: And he saw through that. Right.
[00:22:01] Speaker B: We'll send you to Hot Mess Express. Let me go ahead and lay my. Here are my cards. They're all out on the table.
[00:22:07] Speaker C: I love that. I have never thought about it in that way. This is the first time where I'm like, oh, I can be all of who I am. And somebody's gonna really dig that. Somebody's gonna appreciate that and get it. You know, somebody's gonna be able to hang with it and show up for it and just be cool with it. And that's the person. Right. That's the person we're all looking for. If you are looking for someone outside of yourself, like I said, it's a wonderful thing to spend seven years getting to know yourself and to just seeing that you are brave and resilient and it's okay to feel things and that you are loved for exactly who you are. My people have shown me that you've been a really strong force for that, and so I thank you for that.
[00:23:00] Speaker B: Of course. Couldn't imagine showing up any other way.
[00:23:04] Speaker C: I couldn't imagine you showing up any other way. I had to learn it a little bit. I had to realize that it's okay to lean on people. It's okay to be exactly who you are. Yeah. That's all we ever Want is to be who we are and have people love and accept us. Anyway.
[00:23:18] Speaker B: This is nothing. It's not a complicated formula.
[00:23:21] Speaker C: It's really not.
[00:23:22] Speaker B: Can I be me and you be okay with that?
[00:23:25] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:23:26] Speaker B: Will I let you be you? Yes. My answer to that is yes, period. I don't even know where I wanted to go after that, but.
[00:23:34] Speaker C: And did you talk about relationships and transition for you?
[00:23:38] Speaker B: I think I did a little bit.
[00:23:39] Speaker C: Well, the hot mess express is hilarious, but yeah.
[00:23:41] Speaker B: Okay. I wanted to be sure that I called out with seeking professional help. Sometimes what we're doing on our own is not enough and we need a professional therapist or life coach to give us personalized support and strategies. I'm always game for more tools in my toolkit.
[00:23:56] Speaker C: Oh yeah, there's nothing wrong with inviting a coach or mentor or therapist, an outside perspective into your life. It's really, really important, actually.
[00:24:06] Speaker B: And the other two points that I also wanted to call out was to practice self compassion.
Please, please, please be gentle with yourself during transitions.
Understanding that change takes time and feeling uncertain or unprepared is absolutely okay. It's normal to encounter ups and downs and that growth often requires patience. So please be gentle with yourself.
[00:24:34] Speaker C: I just got weepy when you said that because I do think we're so hard on ourselves. What you're doing is you're coming home to yourself. Coming home to the beautiful, purest, brightest light version of yourself. It does require some time and attention and energy and boy, compassion and grace for yourself. Right? Just cut yourself a break. We're all doing the best we can in the moment. You don't know what you don't know.
And if there is anything I can also add to that of having like a coach or a mentor or a therapist, I just find there's so many alternatives, healing modalities that have added so much to my healing and my life and my growth exponentially.
You know, find those things that resonate for you and use all the tools in all the ways. And I just want to say, explorers, if you're sitting there thinking, like, I can't possibly do this work, like we see you, like I feel you in this moment, like I feel the purest essence of you and you are beautiful and just remember that, please.
[00:25:47] Speaker B: And we are living proof that you will be okay. Oh, and then the other thing was to prioritize self care. Transitions can be mentally and emotionally draining. So that means we maintain a healthy lifestyle and make sure we get enough sleep. Naps are great. Engage in activities that bring you joy.
Yes, Taking care of yourself is key to navigating transitions.
[00:26:15] Speaker C: Transitions don't happen overnight. If you're in the middle of something and you're just like, I need a nap or I need to watch a funny movie or something, like, listen to that. Yeah. Like, it's not. It's not gonna make it go any quicker if you are forcing yourself through the things.
[00:26:32] Speaker B: You know, it actually might.
[00:26:34] Speaker C: Yeah, it's actually gonna probably two steps back. Agreed.
[00:26:37] Speaker B: This has been amazing. I have a song.
[00:26:41] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:26:42] Speaker B: It's a little tongue in cheek that speaks to the inevitability of change and the importance of embracing it.
[00:26:50] Speaker C: What is it?
[00:26:51] Speaker B: It is by David Bowie. Changes.
[00:26:55] Speaker C: I knew it. I knew it. Right before you even said it. I'm like, wait a minute. It's gotta be.
[00:27:00] Speaker B: It's gotta be ch. Ch. Changes.
Check out this week's song on the.
[00:27:08] Speaker A: YO podcast playlist on Spotify.
[00:27:16] Speaker C: Oh, that was so fun.
[00:27:18] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:27:19] Speaker C: I was trying to see when that song first came out, because I'm looking at these other versions of it. I may very well have been eight.
[00:27:27] Speaker B: Let's see.
1971.
[00:27:32] Speaker C: Oh, I was younger. I was quite little.
[00:27:35] Speaker B: Okay, it's time for today's question of the day.
[00:27:39] Speaker C: Oh, dang. Did we not do that already? We did not have so many questions.
[00:27:43] Speaker B: If you could give one piece of advice to someone struggling with a life transition, what would it be?
[00:27:50] Speaker C: Be brave and keep moving.
[00:27:52] Speaker B: That's it.
[00:27:53] Speaker C: That's it. Just the light is coming. It's like, right there. You don't even understand how close you are.
[00:27:59] Speaker B: So be brave, keep moving. And I will add, embrace vulnerability.
[00:28:04] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:28:05] Speaker B: These transitions can feel intimidating. But if we keep those three pieces of advice in mind, you don't have to have all of the answers and you don't have to know what it looks like on the other side of your transition. You just have to be brave, keep moving, and embrace vulnerability.
[00:28:26] Speaker C: Yeah. Just show up and be in it.
[00:28:29] Speaker B: That's it. Wow.
[00:28:31] Speaker C: I mean, you wouldn't want to know, right? The end of the story, the end of the movie, the end of the chapter.
[00:28:35] Speaker B: I knew the next chapter. A lot of times I would probably just be like, I'm a tap out. I'm not gonna do that. I won't make it through that. There is no way that chapter is going to serve me. So, yeah.
[00:28:46] Speaker C: The other side of it is so good.
[00:28:48] Speaker B: That might be the quickest answer to the QOTD we have ever done.
[00:28:52] Speaker C: It was like, right there. We're like this, this, and this. That's what you do. We talked about that too. I'm alluding to the next episode. We talked about that idea of feeling or knowing where you're going or knowing something and then taking the step. Like you must take the steps. Even if you don't fully know where that transition is leading you, you can trust that it's for the best and it's for your highest good. I really believe that I have that.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: Plug for the next episode. Just a little tidbit. Explorers, thanks for joining us in this explanation Exploration of transitions.
Whether you're navigating a change or preparing for one, we hope you feel empowered for the journey ahead. I have a quote by American poet, writer, commentator, activist and educator. It is from the beautiful Nikki Giovanni A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter what it is. Once you do, you can learn about the new world you're in and take advantage of it.
[00:29:56] Speaker C: There's nothing to fear. Embrace the change. Welcome it. You don't have to know all the particulars and all the details, but it's gonna be good.
[00:30:05] Speaker B: It's gonna be good.
[00:30:06] Speaker C: It's gonna be good.
[00:30:07] Speaker B: Each new start is an exciting opportunity to grow, learn and redefine your path. Explorers. Until next time, keep trusting that you have the strength and resilience to navigate whatever comes your way.
[00:30:21] Speaker C: Transitions. They're the bread and butter. That's the stuff of life. Explorers. See you next time. Take good care.
[00:30:30] Speaker D: Thank you to Queenies in Downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for welcoming us so warmly each week.
We'd love to give a shout out to Coco Cinnamon, the birthplace of 1023 Media and the yo podcast. Please support your local women owned minority owned coffee shop in downtown Durham.
Brought to you by Durham based 1023 Media, a heart centered woman owned multimedia company.
[00:31:05] Speaker C: SA.
