Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey podcast, where your guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth.
Each week we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way.
Please note, this podcast should not replace medical care or advice.
We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists.
If you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions.
So, explorers, let's dive into today's episode.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: Hey, explorers, it's Tara. Karen and I are so excited that you pressed play today.
[00:01:00] Speaker C: Yay.
[00:01:00] Speaker B: Yay.
[00:01:01] Speaker C: Good for you.
[00:01:01] Speaker D: Yay.
[00:01:02] Speaker B: Good for you. Good for us. Thank you for joining us. Explorer. Have you ever looked up from the busyness of your life and wondered, when did I stop feeling like me?
Because I know for me, between the responsibilities, the routines, the showing up for everyone and everything else and trying to keep all of the plate spinning like I'm a circus performer, I sometimes let my voice go quiet. So maybe you become the incredibly capable person that everyone depends on. And from the outside, life is going and looking exactly the way that you hoped it would. And yet.
[00:01:41] Speaker C: And yet you're freaking exhausted.
You're like, who am I? Where am I? What's happening?
Yeah, yeah, that's real.
[00:01:51] Speaker B: It is. And there's this part of you that misses something. Like you can't quite name or pinpoint what it is. And this month on the pod, we are exploring what it means to return to yourself by remembering who you've been all along.
It's very on brand for us.
[00:02:09] Speaker C: It's very on brand for us. And also, it's just such an exciting concept to just be like, wait, I can stop and think about that. Like, I can enjoy. I can dream about that. I can remember, I can recall. I can bring in more awareness of the things that bring me joy that I detached from or let go of because of responsibilities and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, I hate that word, responsibilities. I'm like, it's all supposed to be fun.
So if you're not having fun, check. Look at it. Let's look at it.
[00:02:44] Speaker B: Yes. And Karen and I truly believe that coming home to yourself isn't a destination. It is truly about the relationship that you can begin rebuilding today, right now with yourself. Yes.
[00:02:58] Speaker C: If that wasn't clear.
[00:02:59] Speaker B: Yes. So, Karen, let's talk a little bit about the noticing the things that we've noticed in.
Yeah, this is a shows up in our life and the missing piece of it, I think feel like we have As a culture, as a people, normalized self sacrifice and not self sacrifice in the way we have completely disappeared, but we've slowly slipped out of focus by always pouring into other people.
[00:03:29] Speaker C: Yeah. And we've talked about that from so many vantage points. But that feeling, that sense that you're.
How can I say this gently? That you're drying up and blowing away, that's an indicator.
That's a very clear indicator that there are things in your life that are not being addressed in terms of your own self care. So I just think it's really, really important to notice the indicators. Not to judge or to critique yourself, but to just be like, huh, okay.
Yep. I'm gonna look at that. How can I fill my cup? How can I nourish myself in this season and just balance the scales a bit? Balance and harmony, baby.
[00:04:15] Speaker B: Yeah. I like what you said about looking at it and the noticing without judging. Because in all actuality, sometimes we've become like these shadow versions of ourselves because that's what we needed to do to survive. If we didn't do that, then would you say blow away? We would literally be gone. And we have.
It's so subtle. And so what is the word?
[00:04:42] Speaker C: It's very slow moving. It's imperceptible.
[00:04:45] Speaker B: Right?
That's it. It's like. And we become who our families, our workplaces, our religious systems or our communities need us to be. It's like there is this role and we've identified it, and then we start feeling it. And then in doing that, we get rewarded for being dependable, for being agreeable, for being selfless and productive.
And in doing right and in doing that, like, our preferences and our dreams and our desires and who we are becomes negotiable.
[00:05:24] Speaker C: All of this, this striving and this doing that you're talking about these messages and these roles that we see and that are either thrust upon us or that we sort of just feel like we have concede to. All of that is happening in what's called beta consciousness, Right. Which is that mode of consciousness where you're like, I got to go. I got to push. I got a job I got to do. I got to make this amount of money. I got to get my kids to school. I got. It's all really intense, like, outpouring of energy, right? And that will kick your ass.
That will literally, at some point, and I'm not saying this lightly, will kill you. That will kill you. Because you cannot continue to operate that way. And push and push and go and go without Filling the well without, right? Like what happens when your car runs out of oil, right? Literally the engine sees, it's like you're done.
Just leave it on the side of the road because that shit ain't moving. I think I'm not supposed to swear, but that's okay. We'll bleep it out.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: Change our thing a long time ago. Sometimes, like, sometimes we need a little bit of the. I was like, now don't even sound right. So I was like, yeah, listen at your own whatever. Because grown ups use grown up words.
[00:06:33] Speaker C: My point being is like when we start to slow down and remember who we really are, you know, and start to feel into the things that bring us joy and, and the things we want to be and have in this life, we start to settle into a different vantage point, right? We just were talking about it off, off call, like a different perspective that all of a sudden we're like, huh, I, I didn't even know that was available to me.
And then that opens up a whole bunch of doors where I. What I believe is that like energy, right, the like the life force that you are can sort of flow a little bit easier and a little bit and more authentically more true to you. And it's not so hard. Everything's not so hard.
You just start becoming more flow and less rocks in the river, right?
[00:07:27] Speaker B: The friction of Beta life eases a little bit. When you were talking about Beta, Beta energy, Beta moving and doing and being like. I realized what came to mind is like the Matrix. Like you get pulled out of the Matrix. Like Beta is the Matrix. Like doing that. Like we got to save the world and everything's on fire and we got to do these things. But unplug, get out of there, plug
[00:07:50] Speaker C: and like, and all of a sudden you're like, and you're like just floating. It says, you're like, wait, I can create my life. Like, I can choose, I can decide what.
Yeah, Matrix, great.
[00:08:02] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what came to mind. And we've talked about how these subtle and almost imperceptible changes and distance that we create from our true selves to who we are. Showing up like that form of self abandonment often looks and feels like responsibility before it feels like pain or discomfort.
[00:08:25] Speaker C: Yes. And as you said, our society, our cultures, our systems reward that. They're like, yeah, please do, please be the plebeian, please do the minion work, please do all of the things over here so that I can be enjoying all of life over here. Like our society is like it's set up that way, right. For us to remain unaware, for us to think that this actually is the way it needs to be. And it's a big old bold faced lie.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: Lies.
It's just a lie.
[00:08:57] Speaker C: It's a big lie.
[00:08:58] Speaker B: As we talk about society and culture, I also think that they are constantly telling us that we need to reinvent ourselves or become someone do like, we need new habits, we need better habits, we need new routines. You just need a completely new identity.
But I don't think any of those are the truest goals. The truest goal for me is the remembrance of who I am.
[00:09:25] Speaker C: Yeah. All of those things that you exampled say, those all say they're not doing it. Right.
[00:09:30] Speaker B: Right.
[00:09:30] Speaker C: Not enough. You got to do it a different way. You got to add some things on, you got to take some things off, you know, like there's an actual equation. There's no equation. There's one.
[00:09:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:39] Speaker C: It's just one.
You authentically you.
[00:09:45] Speaker B: Right. When we're doing this, this reinvention over remembrance, we are spending so much of our energy trying to become someone different that we get further and further away and more and more in the forgetting of who we've actually always been.
[00:10:04] Speaker C: It's just more striving in a different costume.
[00:10:08] Speaker B: As I'm talking about this, it leads me to this question. In the remembrance, are there identities or roles that you realize that you have to grieve in doing that in the remembering? Right.
[00:10:27] Speaker C: Just punch me in the face, Tara.
[00:10:29] Speaker B: No warm up. Nothing. Let's go.
[00:10:31] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. And honestly, seriously, Tara Explorers. I think that's the primary reason people don't do it. People don't choose themselves. They're like, there's too much pain in that. It's a letting go of certain things that I refuse to let go of. And I'm not saying those things aren't important, but you can have a different relationship to them as you return home to yourself and you will have a different relationship. But yes, there is grieving in the. In the how I used to do it and the how I used to show up and how I used to. The masks I used to wear and the Personas that I took on. Like, there is grief in letting all of that go. I have multiple examples. I'm experiencing one right now. Letting go of certain responsibilities to family members and needing to remember that I am in my movie, they are in their movie, I am an extra in their movie, they are an extra in my movie. But when it comes down to it, we must choose Remembrance. We must choose ourselves. We must choose our authenticity. And how do you get there? By noticing your dreams and your desires and what brings you joy. Those are the flags. Those are the guideposts that bring us back to ourselves. What brings me joy? Oh, God. I remember I used to love to paint.
How many decades has it been? Whatever it is, you know, like, find those things that. That remind you of what really brings you joy, because that is going to be the direct line. And yes, grief is real, and I promise it doesn't kill you.
[00:12:08] Speaker B: Right. Grief is very real. And I love what you said about, like, the people in your life that you're in relationship with, they are extras in your movie and you are an extra in their movie. I feel like if more people embraced some of the main character energy, but not in the, like, egotistical way, but like, I am the star of this book, this story, this movie, this show. Like, I am the star and I get to decide, you know, who is cast, whether you are, you know, a supporting character or are you extra. Are you just not even on set. You got kicked off set.
[00:12:44] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
But in remembering and coming back to your full main character energy, which is you in alignment there, I'm finding, and I found that there are things that I did when I was younger that actually feed that now. So, like, I grew up in the generation where I got like the.
The personal pan pizzas from Pizza Hut if I read the books and I did the library summer reading club thing. But the thing that will fill me back up now, one of them is reading a book. I will sit down with a page, a book, and read and turn the pages. I will stay up all night. But, like, it's not like a drain. It is absolutely refilling and the main character energy for me, I love Tara. I do too. I've just started. Like, I could continue to scroll on my phone or as I said before, like, I'm working on getting this screen time down because I feel like I'm an iPad baby. But, like, I consciously and intentionally chose to put my phone away and pick up my book. And so I'm like, I'm reading from one book in the morning and then like something else in the evening before I go to bed. One blue light reduction. Thank you. Oh, my goodness. Not just sitting here caught up in the quicksand of social media. What. What even was I doing? But I'm like, reading a book. Oh, this is great.
[00:14:05] Speaker C: Reading a book feels like filling the well.
Diving into the rabbit hole of social media feels like you're just pulling a rubber plug out from under you and you're just like, I'm completely drained. That's how I feel. One of my mentors calls it antisocial
[00:14:19] Speaker B: media, which I think is hilarious. It is, it is, because we have all of these tools and things that connect us, but for some reason, we're still lo.
Because you're not in the real world, right?
[00:14:31] Speaker C: That's an indicator because you're not doing actual real things with like real people or real pages of a book. You know, Kindle users aside, I'm just saying I prefer pages of a book. I'm like, I am too. And you know what's so funny that you're saying this now is I have been in the last month and a half reading more like going back to just fiction that I've been wanting to read that, like, it just fills me. It's like going to a movie, right? I'm like riding this adventure. I can't wait to get back to it. I'm like, what happens next? And oh my God, what is he gonna do? What is she gonna do? What are they gonna do? How's this gonna play out? Yeah, it's just soul filling, man.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: And that feeling is like, exactly how I felt as a kid reading the, like, choose your adventure books or Nancy Drew or babysitter's club, whoever. Like, I was, oh my gosh, what is gonna happen next? Oh my goodness, what's going on? Like, it has always been like that, but yeah, but on the social media and loneliness and how, how easy it is to be disconnected. But it comes back to the choice. Are you choosing to spend your time in social media la la land, or are you choosing to be, you know, doing things one with yourself that fills you and with people. It's a choice. You can choose these. You can be real or you can be fake. You can be in alignment or you can be out of alignment. You can perform the role or you can be true. Like, it's.
[00:15:50] Speaker C: It's just literally a choice and an awareness.
We must be in healthy relationship with ourselves.
And that includes getting rid of some TV time and phone time, device time, social media time to reconnect with ourselves so that we can have healthy relationships with others. Like, you cannot have healthy relationships with anyone outside yourself if you don't have one with yourself. And I'm not talking about the, oh, you look so good today, girl. Talk yourself in the mirror. I'm talking about inner connection and love and warmth and kindness and compassion for self and just joy and laughing at yourself when you do something goofy or you make a mistake and just like, be connected to yourself, like, know thyself. Right.
[00:16:39] Speaker B: When you're talking about that relationship with yourself and the positive things that come with that. I'm reminded of one of our earlier episodes when we were talking about the shadow work that we have done. And once you dive into the shadowland, it is not all sunshine and rainbows and it be some really icky, prickly bits in there. But knowing who you are and accepting warts, flaws, and all the good, the bad and the ugly is how you can be in better relationship with yourself and other people.
[00:17:08] Speaker C: I. Tara, yes, that was so well said. Because honestly, going into the shadows and yes, it may be sticky and icky and whatnot. It's so much better to know what's really there. And it's not as bad as you think, but you think it's like a triple, whatever, horror movie. It's not. It's not. It's like a bad Andy Griffith show sometimes or whatever. I don't know. It's not as bad as you think. And when you go in and you look at and you start embracing these parts of yourself, you're like, oh, I am. God, I'm so impulsive. I'm like, I'm impulsive. You know what that also means? I'm spontaneous. I love that you start to reframe and look at these things that society and family and whatever would tell us was not good, not acceptable, not that was bad, that was not worthy, that was not redeemable. And you go back and you get those parts and you're like, no, you are. Here's the things that I love about you, you know?
[00:18:02] Speaker B: Yeah. And reclaiming your story with, oh, well, some of the things in the shadowland you didn't put there, some of them someone else dropped off for you, you'd be like, oh, you know that don't even have my name on it. Like, why is that there?
[00:18:17] Speaker C: Like, where did this package come from?
[00:18:19] Speaker B: I'm gonna leave it there.
Yeah. Return to sen.
Return to sender.
[00:18:25] Speaker C: What is that thing you say always about bags?
[00:18:27] Speaker B: That's not your bag. That's not your bag.
[00:18:30] Speaker C: Put it down. That's not your bag. Put it down. I love that that's not yours. Like, that has somebody else's name on it. Like, figure out what is yours and tend to that.
[00:18:41] Speaker B: This remembrance of yourself.
It is not this one giant decision that happens. Like, oh, you know what I mean? Again, what? No, you not that.
[00:18:54] Speaker C: Not how it Happened.
[00:18:55] Speaker B: How did you get there? Like, you just said it.
[00:18:57] Speaker C: And now it is like, abracadabra, Houdini.
[00:19:00] Speaker B: And I me, it's come in asking myself those questions. Like, who? I'm going to start with the who, because we are community and social creatures. Like, who helps me feel safe enough to be me? Like, who are the people that accept me, shadows and all? Who are the people that aren't asking me to be anyone other than myself and allowing me the room to figure it out? Like. Like I tried it. That ain't quite it. Let me. Let me scratch that, flip it and reverse it. Like, who are those people that are safe?
[00:19:35] Speaker C: Yeah, that safety is so important. Yeah, it is.
[00:19:37] Speaker B: And it's. And I'm not talking about physical safety. I'm talking about that psychological and mental safety and emotional safety. As you explain, explore, and take that journey back to yourself. What are the things that I do where time just disappears? Like, a lot of times it's listening to music or reading the book.
[00:19:59] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:20:00] Speaker B: The suggestion from my therapist about, like, the silent car ride, like, turning the radio off to prepare for the next thing. Taking the scenic route home. Just switching up the routine a little bit and just calling when I feel like I have stalled out on the side of the road, calling the people who remind me who I am. Be like, girl, that's not you. Or, yeah, you are that chick. Like, you are the main character. Don't forget that. Like, those are the questions that help me come back every single time.
[00:20:32] Speaker C: I love that you said so much. There was so much goodness in that that I'm just gonna say, I love that.
[00:20:37] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:37] Speaker C: I think if we remember now, this is what one of my mentors calls the 10 second miracle.
It is this, my friends.
You are creating your life.
No one else is adding to your. You are creating your life. Every choice and decision, every thought you have and every word you speak is energy.
And that is what creates. We are energy. That is what creates your life. If you believe you can't have it, you sure as hell won't get it. If you start to believe and talk to yourself like, I am worth this, and I do want this, and this is my dream, and this is what I'm going towards. Well, you keep putting energy towards that, and you will create that in your life. Because that's how it works. We are creative beings. We get to decide how we want our life to look and be, what we want to have, who we want to be around, and we just create it. One decision, one thought, one word at a Time. That's the whole story. There is nothing more complicated. That's it. You are creating your reality.
[00:21:47] Speaker B: Every moment, every moment in every decision. And those everyday, mundane, tiny returns are the homecomings. That's how it works.
[00:21:58] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: That is either you coming home or you leaving.
[00:22:02] Speaker C: Right. You're not standing still. So you're either going one way or you're going the other. And I'm not saying one's. You know, you can go left, you can go right, you can always pivot. But you want to have you as the guy, as the thing. Right. That's your North Star. Like you. Where am I? Who am I? You know, and make every decision and everything according to that.
[00:22:22] Speaker B: Yeah. I've seen a lot of social posts and commentary about de centering.
[00:22:29] Speaker C: I don't know what that means.
[00:22:30] Speaker B: Like. Like decenter men or decenter what? Whatever. Like you're de centering something. And I was like, okay, cool, but could we just recenter on us? Could we do that? Can we take the focus off of them and make it not about the outside?
[00:22:43] Speaker C: Right.
[00:22:44] Speaker B: What are you actually doing? Oh, I'm re centering. I'm me. I'm good.
[00:22:48] Speaker C: I think it's comfortable for people to look outside themselves because then we don't have to take responsibility.
[00:22:53] Speaker B: Right.
[00:22:53] Speaker C: We can blame society, we can bl child to that one experience. We can blame the religion, we can blame the ex, we can blame the parent, the child, the whoever, the job, the boss.
Things that we could. But none of it is true. That's all external. How. How do you think those things happen and came into your life? Because you're the director and the actor and the writer and the producer.
That's how I am responsible for my life. I am responsible for my happiness.
And start there, man. Like, I'm yelling at people. I'm not yelling. I'm just so passionate about this.
[00:23:31] Speaker B: Like, so passionate about. I'm like, yes, this is.
[00:23:34] Speaker C: Because this is truth. This is what it all boils down to. And it's meant to be a joyful adventure. If you're not having fun, if you're not feeling fulfilled and passionate and joyful, yes, we all have adulting. We all have responsibilities. We all have checks that we have to write and rent and blah, blah, blah. If you're not having fun being you, take a look at what's going on and make a different choice. I'm saying that with love and kindness. I really am. Like, you get to be happy. You get to choose, choose.
[00:24:07] Speaker B: You choose you each and every day. And in Choosing you.
You don't have to figure out exactly who you are today, like right now in this moment, because the way back to yourself, the way that you remember who you are, it isn't a straight line or something you earn. It is a journey of returning through those small everyday choices that Karen and I were talking about that reconnect you with who you've always been. And it's going to be trial and error, not perfection. Like, you just want to get closer to who you are and closer in alignment with making choices from the center that is you, the main character.
[00:24:46] Speaker C: Yes, one addition. Perfection is a lie also,
[00:24:51] Speaker D: right?
[00:24:51] Speaker C: I mean, you and I are messy. And I love it.
[00:24:53] Speaker B: Listen, listen. Bless this mess, this mess that is the prayer.
[00:24:59] Speaker C: This fun, adventurous, wild, crazy, banana shenanigan mess.
[00:25:04] Speaker B: So we have a song for this episode that I feel like it's an invitation to not rush to become this future version of yourself, but to slowly and gently remember and come home to the person that you've always been.
She's peeling the onion, y'. All Peeling back the layers. The song for this week is Home by Philip Phillips.
[00:25:34] Speaker A: Check out this week's song on the YO Podcast playlist on Spotify.
[00:25:43] Speaker C: I love any song that has an accordion or harmonium, whatever. I think it was an accordion.
I swear I just had a four minute aerobic workout. Like major high intensity cardio.
I was jumping.
[00:26:03] Speaker B: Yeah, that was fun.
[00:26:04] Speaker C: Awesome.
That was a perfect song. That was great. I'm always so impressed. Explorers, you probably know by now, but Tara loves music probably more than anybody I know, including the musicians I know, including myself.
And you always find such a spot on, beautiful song to align with our message. And I just want to point out that that is a beautiful, beautiful gift and skill that you bring.
[00:26:31] Speaker B: Oh, that is some of the highest praise. I have goosebumps from the singer songwriter to say, like, no, that is. I love music. It is. Music is life.
[00:26:43] Speaker C: Music is life.
[00:26:44] Speaker B: I have so much fun finding music that I know or don't know. Listening to the lyric and how it really, like you said, reinforces and carries our theme through whatever we're talking about in the episode. It is a joy, for sure.
[00:26:58] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:27:00] Speaker B: All right.
I mean, just catch my breath. Breathing.
[00:27:02] Speaker D: I know, right?
[00:27:03] Speaker B: There was a lot of hand clapping, foot stomping.
[00:27:06] Speaker C: I was, at one point I was like galloping like I was a cowboy in the wild west.
[00:27:12] Speaker B: It was so crazy.
So we have danced it out. Philip Phillips has reminded us that home is not always a place. Like when he said, we're Gonna make this house a home. I think about, like, when we move into new places, it's just the house, but it's the people, the experiences, the love and the joy that actually turns it into a home. And when you think about extending the metaphor to yourself, it is all of those same things that make you more at home with yourself.
[00:27:41] Speaker D: Absolutely.
[00:27:43] Speaker C: Love, joy and gratitude. Highest vibration. And honestly, yeah, that's why a new home, it takes a little bit because you're bringing yourself into it, you know? Yeah. Beautiful.
[00:27:51] Speaker B: All right, today's question. The question of the day.
[00:27:55] Speaker C: U O T D.
Okay, I haven't said that in a long time. Wait, you have a big old song.
[00:28:02] Speaker B: It's going to be fine. It's like a tone.
[00:28:04] Speaker C: Okay, I'm ready.
[00:28:05] Speaker B: When was the last time you felt completely like yourself?
What were you doing?
[00:28:14] Speaker C: Like, two minutes ago, I was dancing
[00:28:16] Speaker B: in my living room.
[00:28:19] Speaker C: I'm not joking. I was like, I am all of life. I am celebration. Like, it was like this, like, absolute, like just moment. It was. I'm not. I'm not joking. And the thing is, I experienced that multiple times throughout my day, the day.
[00:28:36] Speaker B: And that's like.
[00:28:38] Speaker C: Yeah. Those moments of, like, oh, yeah, I remember.
[00:28:42] Speaker B: This is what it's about. This is who I am. Dance is always one of those things. And Karen, you and I have talked about it so many times. Dance like nobody's watching. Dancing in your kitchen. Like, what? Freedom comes when you're dancing to the beat of your own drum. When you're just out there. Movement is.
Movement is like.
[00:29:01] Speaker C: Movement is. You're in your body. You're so embodied. That's. And then that. That shows you. I don't know. It shows you.
[00:29:08] Speaker B: And then I was thinking, this isn't the last time, but I was doing a little before and after work myself. So before.
Before business life, when I was still in the Upside down and I started writing. And in the writing, like, that's when I felt like I was coming back to myself. I was processing my feelings. I was navigating all of the identity breaks that were happening as a result of that environment. But the writing was how I found my way back. Like, the writing was the breadcrumbs for me. And the more and more I did it, the more and more I remembered my voice and all of these other beautiful coincidences, confirmations came in doing that. Like, yeah, this is who you are. Yeah, that was really messed up situation.
And this is who you are. Yeah, that was unfair.
This is who you are.
[00:30:01] Speaker C: Yeah. And some of those things right that came into your experience at that time was to show you who you are. I think humans tend to look at something and be like, oh, my God, that was so devastating. That's so dramatic, whatever your adjective is. And it's a very negative framing. But everything that's happening is showing you something and it's serving you in some way. And you finally broke through and saw it. And you're like, no, this is not even remotely aligned at all with who I am. And that's when the energy started shifting and things happened the way they did because you're like, this is not okay.
[00:30:33] Speaker B: This does not feel right. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:30:36] Speaker C: And I think writing is a great. Because writing our way home is an absolute beautiful tool.
[00:30:42] Speaker B: Yeah. And my Lin Manuel Hamilton voice. I wrote my way out like I wrote my way back home.
As you were talking about, I was thinking about this group exercise that I did this week where we took 90 seconds. And y', all, 90 seconds go by a lot faster than you think it is. So the exercise was taking 90 seconds for positive events. You start with your birth and go up to the date and you have 90 seconds to write about positive experiences in your life. And then you have 90 seconds to write about the negative experiences in your life. And then you put them in chronological order first of all with the positive experiences. I had only made it to like 7 years old before. It's like 30 seconds left. Hold on, wait a minute. So I had to like, quickly write some other things later in life. And then afterwards you do a reflection about your life of experiences. When I was looking at the negative experiences, one of them was moving from the place that I grew up, 5 to 10 years old, moving from there to where I ended up finishing through high school. And I was like, that was a negative experience for a 10 year old me because all my friends are here. I like my school here. But if I hadn't moved, I wouldn't have met my best friend who's still been with me for over 30 years. And like, if that hadn't happened, I'm looking at all of the negative experiences.
[00:31:56] Speaker C: They're related, right?
[00:31:57] Speaker B: Exactly. I was like, well, if I hadn't have had this experience, then these wonderful things would not have happen. I wouldn't have met this person. I wouldn't have done this. And it's as you're saying, the experiences, all of them, the good and the bad, make up the whole that is your life and the whole of the journey of returning to yourself. And you can't just have all sunshine and Rainbows.
[00:32:15] Speaker C: Yeah. That's not actually real.
It's not unicorn life. However, you know, experiences that happen, they are neither negative nor positive. They are what they are, and it's the perception that we bring to them.
And if you can look at an experience to go, yeah, that happened as you did, and then, oh, but look at all these things that happened because of it. Like, ultimately, that's a positive experience then. Even though in the moment.
[00:32:40] Speaker B: In the moment it was horrible.
[00:32:42] Speaker C: Yeah. So hard. Right.
[00:32:44] Speaker B: But really, that was another journey of, like, being completely myself, looking at the whole of these experiences and be like, I wouldn't be me if I had not had all of these positive experiences or even perceived at the time. Negative experiences.
[00:33:01] Speaker C: Yeah. And I think, honestly, our overarching take on life plays so much into that. Like, I believe I live in a friendly universe that's looking out for me and that's wanting me to grow and be the best me I can be. And therefore, anything that happens is leading me that way. And if you can maintain that sort of radiating that thought, that positive energy, it informs what comes next, it's wild. So I just think trying to get to that place where we appreciate these things because they're bringing us to who we are.
[00:33:34] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:33:35] Speaker B: All right.
[00:33:36] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, that's fun.
[00:33:38] Speaker B: This is great. I have a quote from. This is according to the Wikipedia little blurby thing from American author, educator and activist who focuses on issues in education, community, leadership, spirituality, and social change. This quote is from Parker Palmer.
[00:33:57] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:33:58] Speaker B: Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you.
[00:34:08] Speaker C: The universe is talking.
Listen.
I got reminded this recently. We have two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately.
Listen.
[00:34:20] Speaker B: Listen for what life intends to do with you. And in the listening, I don't believe that we have to become someone new in order to live a truly beautiful life.
You don't have to.
[00:34:36] Speaker C: You don't have to. You are already beautiful. You just have to remember how beautiful and unique and amazing you are.
[00:34:45] Speaker B: Right. This has been a wonderful kickoff to our August reclamation series.
[00:34:52] Speaker C: I love me so.
[00:34:54] Speaker B: I've enjoyed every minute of it. So explore. Until next time. May you return to the places, people and practices that help you remember. Home has been within you all along, my friends.
[00:35:09] Speaker C: Explorers. Tara, may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be at peace.
We'll see you next time on your Odyssey podcast, and we love you. Take good care.
[00:35:23] Speaker D: Thank you to Queenies in downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for welcoming us so warmly each week.
We'd like to give a shout out to Coco Cinnamon, the birthplace of the 1023 Media and the yo podcast. Please support your local women owned minority owned coffee shop in downtown Durham, Brought to you by Durham based 1023 Media, a heart centered woman owned multimedia company.
Sam.
