095 - A Love Letter to Who You've Become

[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey Podcast, where your guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth. Each week we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way. Please note this podcast should not replace medical care or advice. We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists. If you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions. So, explorers, let's dive into today's episode. Hey, explorers, it's Tara. How are you feeling as we step closer to a new year? Maybe you're catching your breath, still juggling a lot of things or holding this beautiful mix of gratitude, fatigue, reflection, and relief. However you're arriving to this episode today, Karen and I are so glad that you pressed play. [00:01:18] Speaker B: So glad. This is such a liminal, magical time. There's this miraculous time of sparkly gatherings and then darker, longer nights. You know what I mean? Like, there's just this juxtaposition, this balance, and it can be tricky. [00:01:33] Speaker A: It's tricky. It can be tricky. [00:01:37] Speaker B: So if you're feeling like all of the rush of joy and gratitude as well as overwhelm and exhaustion, first of all, this episode's for you. So second of all, you don't actually have to do all the things. [00:01:50] Speaker A: This episode is a little bit different. We're not encouraging you to push towards resolutions or sprint towards the new year. We're giving you a reflection, a love letter to who you've become in this year. [00:02:05] Speaker B: Yeah, it's so important to notice. We are creatures of habit, and we're also creatures of change and growth. And sometimes we forget to look back and just be like, in the first quarter of last year, what were my days like? What was I doing? What was I thinking? How was I feeling? Who was I becoming? How did I change? How did I shift? Where were my mistakes and what I consider maybe failures, Things to learn from? Where did I really commit and focus with intention? I think it's really important to take stock because we do grow, and sometimes it feels like we haven't. [00:02:43] Speaker A: So, yes. And as we stand on the edge of this new year, sometimes culture puts this pressure on us to reinvent ourselves, to plan to become something or someone better. So before you rush off into who you should be next, we want to pause here and honor who you are right now. This isn't about striving. It's about seeing. [00:03:09] Speaker B: Seeing. [00:03:10] Speaker A: It's about remembering you're allowed to love who you've become, even if you're still becoming. [00:03:17] Speaker B: Heck yeah. I love me some Karen. I am messy. I love the journey. Oh, that's hilarious. I do that. Or I used to do that or I still do that. And also, like, wow, look at all the things that I've embraced and expanded into. And like, all right. It's an adventure, man. No matter how you slice it. [00:03:38] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh, it's an adventure. [00:03:39] Speaker B: You know, I just came through some dark days. [00:03:42] Speaker A: Yes, it's an adventure. And one of the reasons this time of year feels so complicated is that we often look back and look at the things that we didn't do, the things that we didn't accomplish. [00:03:54] Speaker B: We're so hard on ourselves. [00:03:55] Speaker A: And when we do. I know. And when we do that, we miss our evolution. We miss all of the progress that we made. We miss it because we've normalized everything that we've overcome. Like, yeah, we moved on to the next thing. So this is my normal now. Not realizing, hey, you actually did overcome. [00:04:13] Speaker B: This thing for that to become like their w. Acknowledge. Right? Congratulate, like, woo. [00:04:19] Speaker A: And then we miss it because survival becomes kind of like just what we do. Which means that our strength somehow in this overcoming and surviving just becomes invisible. This is just how we show up. This is just what we do. But not thinking that, you know, sitting six months ago, six days ago, six hours ago. Yeah, you would have showed up very differently. And it's easy to miss because most of our growth happens while we're busy living our lives. It's not like we sit down and we're like, oh, look at me, I have a new flower. Like, no, it happened as you were growing. [00:04:59] Speaker B: Yeah, it's in those, those. Those small shifts in behavior, thoughts, actions, choices. And sometimes it's not like, I mean, it's not going to be a parade every time. The big stuff, you know, it's like, whoa. There's a lot of little choices, decisions and actions that you take. Changing your thinking. Waking up, looking in the mirror and telling yourself you love yourself, that you're so grateful for this body. It's those little moments that don't feel like much. It doesn't always have to be fireworks and explosions. [00:05:28] Speaker A: That sounds exhausting. Like, I imagine that's how it would feel if you lived in a musical. [00:05:33] Speaker B: I was picturing a musical. Oh, my God. The whole time I was saying that I was picturing a musical. It's hilarious. [00:05:39] Speaker A: So we don't stop to say, oh, I'm changing, or oh, I've grown into this person. There isn't Like Karen said, this big fireworks and fanfare that happens. We just keep going. And that's why we believe this love letter is so important, why it matters. Because someone needs to say, and someone needs to hear that. That I didn't just get through this year. I transformed through it. [00:06:02] Speaker B: That someone that needs to say it and hear it is you. But by the way, spoiler alert, in case you didn't grab that. [00:06:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:11] Speaker B: You need to say it out loud in writing whenever you need to hear it. Let your conversation. [00:06:19] Speaker A: Yes. You have transformed inside this year. No doubt. [00:06:22] Speaker B: Right. I picture leadership in organizations. If you never give your employees feedback or whether it's positive or areas of improvement, they're just gonna be walking around like, I don't know, what did I do? What is happening? Like, give yourself this loving feedback. Right. Oh, these are the ways that I grew. These are the areas I might wanna focus on with intention next year. Yeah, feedback's important. [00:06:45] Speaker A: I love that. Framing it as feedback for yourself over the course of this year. Oh, okay. All right, Tara, go ahead and give yourself some feedback. Let's see your Q4 projection. [00:06:54] Speaker B: You, of all people, I feel, could sit down with yourself and be on both sides of the table desk. And now I'm going to the other side of this. [00:06:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:00] Speaker B: Oh, thank you for that reflection. And you go the other side and you're like. And I also noticed. Oh, my God, I am let loose this morning. [00:07:08] Speaker A: Oh. Most of us like this imaginary growth wheel or growth trajectory that we feel like growth has to look like. You have more confidence, you have more clarity, you have more momentum, and you have more certainty, baby. That can't be further from the truth. [00:07:22] Speaker B: I was like, it does not look like that at all. [00:07:26] Speaker A: Yes. In this year alone, growth. Growth for me has been very wobbly, very questioning spaces that I used to entertain, like showing up in those spaces and feeling unfamiliar, like not quite recognizing myself. The biggest one has been feeling the shift inside of me before I was able to articulate it. Like something is happening, something is moving. This growth sometimes feels like we're in between two different versions of ourselves. Like the person that I have been, the way that I used to show up, and the future me that is calling and pulling forward. [00:08:02] Speaker B: Right. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. The person you are today is a result of past choices, past decisions, past actions, thoughts. The person you're becoming is a result of what you are choosing, acting, thinking, doing, feeling today. And so there is that. It's like a time delay, Right? It's like a little bit of a slow mo. Like your physical body is trying to catch up to where my energy is going. And where am I? Like, where I am in. In real time, there's a little bit of a disconnect. I'm feeling that myself, too. And it's like, what is hell? I am just trusting, but I'm also like, what is happening. [00:08:38] Speaker A: Yes. So it may sound like you're stuck. My reframe for that is you're not stuck. You're actually stabilizing. [00:08:47] Speaker B: Okay. [00:08:48] Speaker A: You may feel like you're behind, but you're actually in transition. Right. [00:08:52] Speaker B: Like, behind is like, of who, of what. No, it's just you doing your thing. [00:08:59] Speaker A: Yes. In your perfect time. Perfect timing when you're supposed to do it. And you are not lost. Your roots are going into deeper ground. I have been on a whole. Let's look at the root. Get down into the root kick and listen. [00:09:15] Speaker B: You have. I hope we play a root song today. Is that happening? I don't know. [00:09:19] Speaker A: Oh, my God. I have a song for this episode. And then you said something else, and I was like, that would be a good song. We'll see what happens when we get there. Explorer. If you could see yourself with gentler eyes, you'd notice how much courage it took for you to try again after that heartbreak or disappointment. [00:09:37] Speaker B: So much courage. Well done, you. [00:09:40] Speaker A: You would see how you softened instead of shutting down or running away. [00:09:46] Speaker B: Working that vulnerability girl. Sir. All of you. [00:09:50] Speaker A: Yes, you'd notice how you healed pieces of you no one else knew about. [00:09:58] Speaker B: Oh, nobody needs to know what's happening inside. But you know, you know. [00:10:03] Speaker A: And you'd notice how you kept showing up in the middle of all of the uncertainty. And if 2025 has been anything, it's been uncertain. And you would notice how you continue to love and serve others even as your heart felt stretched. [00:10:22] Speaker B: Then. [00:10:25] Speaker A: You'D also notice how you listen to the quiet voice that urged you to keep going. [00:10:33] Speaker B: That's not to say you can't have a couple, three days in bed, shades drawn, because that's what you need. It's about being true to where you are and what you need and being honest with yourself and like, it's okay. That's okay. That will not last. You will get up one of the days, and you'll shower and get dressed. Just honoring the feelings, honoring where you are. It's so important to feel into the feelings, to release and process them. State that. [00:11:03] Speaker A: All right. So I want to offer a little love letter to explorers. It's the love letter that you might not write to yourself. So even if you didn't, this is from me to you. Dear you, thank you for showing up. Thank you for leaning and learning into yourself with honesty. Thank you for choosing your healing even when it was inconvenient. Thank you for trusting the tiniest sparks of hope. Thank you for becoming the person you needed even without a roadmap. You didn't live this year perfectly, and that's okay. You lived it truthfully, and that's more than enough. I love you, I honor you, and I see you. [00:11:49] Speaker B: I loved hearing that. To me and to you and to anyone listening, I loved that. I feel that authentically, truthfully. There is no perfect like in just honoring. Like, we all in the human mess together. We're all doing the best we can and just loving and acknowledging yourself and then reflecting that out to others. So beautiful. Thank you, Tara. That was lovely. Oh, she's such a writer. [00:12:16] Speaker A: Isn't. [00:12:17] Speaker B: Isn't she a good writer? [00:12:18] Speaker A: A. That's one of the things that we leaned into this year that is definitely a success. If you would have asked me in January. No, I don't. You're like, oh, occasionally I dibbled. [00:12:28] Speaker B: Can you write this, that, and the other, or can you stand confidently and just speak your truth on a video? Did you do that last year? No, baby. [00:12:39] Speaker A: Camera's off. Leave me alone. Don't look at me. All right, so I. Oh, this. This is gonna work. This is gonna work. Okay. Do you have anything else post love letter or love letter reflection that you would like to wish to our beautiful explorers as we journey through this episode? If not, it's a song. [00:12:59] Speaker B: I'm gonna feel into it for a second. I want to acknowledge that you, me, and all of the humans listening to this episode and beyond are really creating something beautiful. We are on a journey home, to ourselves, to our truth, right? To our deepest, authentic. And the power of that is absolutely magnetic. So keep going. Keep loving yourself. Keep taking care of yourself. We need you in the wholeness of you, all of the parts, and we love you so much. [00:13:42] Speaker A: All right, so there is a song for this episode that I feel like is a soft reminder that becoming is not a race. It's this gentle unfolding, this gentle remembering, this gentle knowing, and that you don't have to have it all figured out to be growing, to evolve slowly at your own pace, which is beautiful and uniquely designed for you. So explore it. Let this song meet you right where you are. The song is Grow as We Go by Ben Platt. Aw. [00:14:15] Speaker B: I love this song. It's so good. [00:14:22] Speaker A: Check out this week's song on the YO Podcast playlist on Spotify. [00:14:31] Speaker B: Who has moments? [00:14:33] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:14:36] Speaker B: Isn't that just the most beautiful, sacred, highest form of love? Being honest about where you are and what you need to grow and change and being able to share that with another person or people. [00:14:49] Speaker A: Listen. The people. The people. As I'm listening to that, I'm thinking about the journey of our partnership this year and over the past two years and how we have truly embodied. Like, you can ebb and I can flow and vice versa. And you know, when you're high, I'll take the lows. But we always come back to this is important and we are doing this together. And neither one of us is alone in this journey. And that doesn't just go for business. All along these past two years, our personal life has ebbed and flowed, and it's been very encouraging, especially as I listen to the song and have all of those memories of who we've become because of the ebbs and flows, because of the highs and lows. And it's just been like, I could not imagine doing this any other way. So yes, it's definitely the people. I posted recently where it was like a tiny Buddha thing where they say that no one is coming to save you, but people have said saved me time and time again in ways that they couldn't even imagine. So it could be a smile from a stranger, an uplifting word. People have actually saved me. Maybe no one is coming to actively save me, but looking for joy, looking for those moments has definitely saved me time and time again and will continue to do so. Yeah, yeah. [00:16:17] Speaker B: Can't thank you for those words, really. I feel the same way. They talk about community, people who really see you and hear you and just being connected is greater than the sum of its parts. And that's how I feel about our personal and business relationship. It has been a really beautiful awakening in me. To feel so seen and heard and loved in the midst of my messiness and my beauty. So thank you. [00:16:57] Speaker A: And we have a question of the day. I don't know what Ben Platt did to us with that song, but we do have a question for this episode. So before we become the complete puddle, let's do today's question. Although I feel like we've actually kind of answered it, the question of the day is, what's one way you've quietly become stronger, softer, wiser, or more aligned this year, even if you didn't notice it until now, Like, pick one way, you know, stronger, softer, wiser, or more aligned. I am definitely more aligned in the sense that I am not as eager to perform things anymore. I am a world class mask wearer. Like, I know how to slip into the max so quickly that no one would know. Behind it is a lot of change. [00:17:58] Speaker B: You can't even imagine. [00:17:59] Speaker A: I know how to do that very well. And this year, with all of the identity earthquakes that happened, I have learned if I'm not feeling it, I'm not feeling it. I'm not going to pretend. I am a lot more clear about who this next level of me requires. And she requires less performance and more presence. She requires and even demands making choices from a place of rest, a place of groundedness and not a place of pressure. She is calling me forward in the best way possible. And the only way that I know how to honor her is making decisions that are aligned with who she is and who I'm becoming. Like the old version of me. The old version of you. The old version of whoever can't take you to that next level. Yes, you honor and appreciate who they were and how they got you to where you are now. But there are certain layers of her or him or whoever that you have to be willing to grieve. You have to be willing to let go of those things. That's definitely something. Especially in the past three, four months alone that I've worked on honoring who I had to be to get to where I am now and integrating the lessons and wisdom that came from being that version of myself. So that's where I am. It's more aligned decisions with who I know that I'm becoming. [00:19:23] Speaker B: Yes, yes, yes. I love that. I don't remember the question at all, but so into your answer, really feeling every word and every reverberation of. Of what you said because you got. [00:19:36] Speaker A: A front row seat backstage vip. [00:19:39] Speaker B: I got. [00:19:39] Speaker A: I was. [00:19:40] Speaker B: I was staged left the whole time in the wings. [00:19:43] Speaker A: Yes, Sarah, yes. So good. [00:19:45] Speaker B: I'd pay money to see that movie again. And I can't wait to see the next. I can't wait. The sequel and the next one after that. [00:19:50] Speaker A: Oh, my God, the sequel is gonna be so much better. Okay, so the question what's one way you've quietly become someone stronger, softer, wiser, or more aligned this year? Even if you didn't notice it until. [00:20:04] Speaker B: Historically, I have been someone to just sort of suck it up and not really allow myself the full range of emotion. Just kind of like, okay, cool, that happened. Cool. And just tuck it somewhere probably in my torso. This year I've been slowly moving towards. It's been a really beautiful unfoldment towards noticing, having the awareness to see and feel what I'm feeling in the moment and to allow it to just be that. Not try to rush it, not try to move through. It's uncomfortable most of the time. Right. [00:20:49] Speaker A: It. [00:20:51] Speaker B: So to sit with it, to be more in stillness and to be more okay and loving toward myself while I am processing and feeling through it, it is new for me to feel my feelings. It is new for me to feel my feelings in the moment. And that has been the greatest gift of this year. Absolutely. Moving forward, she's gonna have to feel her feelings. There's so much happening and it's expanding quickly. She needs to be able to feel and process feelings to model that example and to stay focused on the vision, the path of. Of who I am. Truly someone who can process emotion. Go figure. [00:21:34] Speaker A: So, explorer, we invite you to answer this question without rushing, minimizing, and without comparing. Let your answer bubble up and rise up inside of you. What is true for you? How have you evolved into a stronger, softer, wiser, or more aligned person this year? We would love it if you share your answers with us. [00:21:56] Speaker B: I had to do that. I was crying and stuff. Come on now. I can do that. [00:22:01] Speaker A: Like, let us in, let us in, let us in. [00:22:03] Speaker B: We love you so much. [00:22:06] Speaker A: So I found a quote by writer and artist Morgan Harper Nichols, and this quote is from her book. All along you were blooming thoughts for boundless living. For it is here you will find. You will be loved as you are, you will be seen as you are, and you will not be left as you are. For you have been invited to go on this journey of being shaped into who you were meant to be. An original work of art. [00:22:40] Speaker B: Yes. If that is one guiding principle of who we are and how we are sharing in community moving forward. You are a magnificent, brilliant, original work of art. And feel that, be that, live that. You know. [00:22:58] Speaker A: Yeah. That is the truth. If you don't carry anything else from this episode, know that you are loved as you are, you are seen as you are, and you are this original masterpiece, this beautiful work of art who is quietly and courageously becoming who they were always meant to be. [00:23:20] Speaker B: Oh, I gotta say, I can't wait for our live events in 26 because I can't wait to hug the people and really tell them that, like, really let them feel that from us. I cannot wait for that. [00:23:32] Speaker A: If this episode spoke to you, share it with another explorer who has quietly grown more than they realize. And until next time, may you honor who you've been, soften into who you're becoming, and trust the quiet work happening beneath the surface. See you next week on your odyssey. [00:23:52] Speaker B: You beautiful, magical masterpiece, you. I hope you can feel the love coming through the airwaves because we love you so much. We're so proud of you and we're so excited to watch your journey and become a part of it. Take good care. Thank you to Queenies in Downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for welcoming us so warmly. Each week. We'd like to give a shout out to Coco Cinnamon, the birthplace of 1023 Media and the yo podcast. Please support your local women owned minority owned coffee shop in Downtown Durham, Brought to you by Durham based 1023 Media, a heart centered woman owned multimedia company.