Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey Podcast, where your guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth.
Each week, we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way.
Please note this podcast should not replace medical care or advice.
We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists.
If you enjoyed today's episode, subscribe so you don't miss out on our future discussions.
So, explorers, let's dive into today's episode.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: Hey, explorers, it's Tara. Karen and I are so glad you pressed play.
[00:00:59] Speaker C: So glad.
[00:01:00] Speaker B: How are you feeling as we close in on the end of the year? It could be the end of your calendar year, the end of your season, the end of whatever.
Maybe this year didn't look the way you thought it would.
Maybe it stretched you, slowed you down, and took you places you never planned to go.
If you've been questioning whether or not it mattered, this episode is for you. We're unpacking what it means to honor those quiet seasons, the hidden growth and the kind of progress that doesn't always make the highlight real.
[00:01:32] Speaker C: That's the stuff. Nobody knows what's going on inside the cocoon, right? Like, nobody. Like, it could be a hot mess. But there is transformation happening, my friend.
[00:01:41] Speaker B: For sure. For sure.
So as we are recording this episode, it is the end of a calendar year. And there's something about being in December, approaching the end of the year that makes us start measuring. Like we don't intend to do it, but it's just something that happens. So we start measuring what worked, what didn't work, what we wish we had done differently or what we wish had gone differently.
[00:02:06] Speaker C: We make a list about everything we screwed up or where we felt.
[00:02:10] Speaker B: Yes, but here's the truth. Just because something didn't turn out the way you expected doesn't mean that it was wasted.
[00:02:20] Speaker C: I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to say that again.
[00:02:24] Speaker B: Yes. Just because something didn't turn out the way you expected doesn't mean it was wasted. Karen and I, in this conversation, are going to talk about reframing the slow seasons as sacred ones. And, y', all, we gonna talk about the lie of linear growth.
[00:02:46] Speaker C: It is windy, as you know, and that's what keeps it exciting.
[00:02:52] Speaker B: Yes.
And even when it doesn't look like much is happening, like Karen just said, that caterpillar, baby, that chrysalis is goo. There is transformation still unfolding inside.
[00:03:04] Speaker C: Trust the magic. Trust the process.
[00:03:08] Speaker B: Let's start with this lie of linear growth about how we have been conditioned to believe that progress should be obvious, visible, measurable, and fast. Like, it should be all of those things. And it should definitely go in a straight line. Like, it shouldn't curl around, loop, and spiral and do any of those things.
[00:03:27] Speaker C: Oh, my God. What I'm seeing is, like, the marathon, right? That straight road. I gotta go from here to there, and I'm only gonna be successful and grown when I get over there. And it is happening in the little moments and the little movements and in all of the circuitous sweet wonders.
[00:03:44] Speaker B: I don't know why, when you just said marathon, I'd had, like, a flashback to learning something about the original marathon runners. Like, y' all do realize when they got to the end of the thing, they basically collapsed, right? Like, they ran straight for all of them miles. And it.
[00:03:56] Speaker C: Oh, that's hilarious. I thought you were gonna say. When I brought up the word marathon, you kind of threw up a little in your mouth.
[00:04:02] Speaker B: No, no. It's like, yes, we think that we have to run the marathon. When we get to the end or when we get to the perceived end point, like, we collapse because, like, baby, you supposed to pause and pivot. Y. I mean, and don't get me wrong, there have definitely been times when I would assume that I was off track and start asking myself, what did I do wrong? What did I miss? But I am definitely now, in this season, leaning into that. These waiting seasons, these growth seasons, these chrysalis seasons, they're not wasted. It's where my wisdom is built. It's where I really, truly hone in and get back in alignment.
[00:04:39] Speaker C: Yeah. That seed in the ground, in the darkness is like. It's thinking about it. It's like, I think I'm gonna put out some roots. You know, I'm gonna. It's like putting out roots, and it hasn't even shot up through the soil yet. But it is doing some stuff that's super important because it's how it's gonna be nourished. It's how it's gonna grow. It's how it's gonna live.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: And this pause between what was and what's next. Karen and I did an episode about earlier this year. This is where our capacity expands. This is the space where our identity gets to catch up with reality. Like, who am I really?
Where am I really?
Let's get them things in alignment.
[00:05:19] Speaker C: There is that sort of liminal space right between what we are moving towards becoming and who we are. Right now, it feels like a leg, but it's already happening, but our little bodies just got to catch up to it just a little bit.
[00:05:37] Speaker B: Yeah. So here's a gentle reframe. Growth that isn't visible is often the kind that lasts. If you doing it for everybody else, making it really performative and showy, it's not gonna last. You doing it for your kids, you're doing it for your mama, you're doing it for your daddy, but just go ahead and just stop, because it's not. You can't do it for nobody else.
[00:05:56] Speaker C: And once you get that level of awareness about how you are perceiving yourself and how you are judging yourself and how none of that is really relative and, in fact, can hamper the process of really true growth. Right.
You start to notice it, like, everywhere. You're like, oh, man, did I do that again? Do that.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:06:22] Speaker B: Just take a breath and ask yourself, where have I been? Growing quietly. And it's okay if you don't share it with the world and put it on your pretty grid post. Deep work doesn't belong to everyone else. That's your sacred stuff.
[00:06:38] Speaker C: Oh, you said something to me one time, right? Didn't you say something to me about, like. About, like, you know, the. This that? Not, like, not everybody gets access to all of your parts.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. That was our January 1st, when I realized what I had allowed and what I was no longer willing to allow and why it was causing such friction in my body, in my whole being. Because I was trying to give everybody the same access. Like, I was trying to give everyone the same level of understanding about who I am. And it was not working. It didn't work.
[00:07:09] Speaker C: And there you were, like, feeling in your body, like, what is this?
[00:07:13] Speaker B: It was.
[00:07:14] Speaker C: Yeah.
Not everyone deserves access to your squishy bits. Your innermost heart, the soft heart that you are expanding and exploring, that you can keep. That that's yours. That's your wounded inner child, is like, please don't show everything.
[00:07:29] Speaker B: Put me out there.
[00:07:31] Speaker C: I just want you to be with. Give me what I need.
[00:07:35] Speaker B: All right? So we are keeping sacred and holding that deep work that we're doing. Let's talk a little about how sometimes we overlook that evidence. We think the evidence of our becoming has to be big, loud, and flashy. I want to say, no, it does not.
Because maybe this year you chose rest over burnout.
Maybe you explorers spoke up when you usually would stay quiet or set a boundary, told the truth or stopped saying yes out of guilt, whatever that looks like, that is all evidence that you are growing and that Your year wasn't a waste. Just because it didn't end or unfold with a giant round of applause doesn't mean it was meaningless. Good job. You did it. What?
[00:08:28] Speaker C: I think one of the most beautiful gifts we can give ourselves is those moments of quiet reflection where we just notice, like, oh, that's funny. I used to do that and now I don't and it feels really good. Or I've become a little more adept at noticing when I'm feeling ick in my body and naming the emotion or whatever I'm feeling about it. I think those are just the beautiful, poignant moments of growth. Our experience is growth centered. We're meant to grow. And so you can just continue growing, keep doing things, but also do take those moments to acknowledge, like, yay, you.
[00:09:10] Speaker B: Yes. Because you have grown and evolved in ways that the old you wouldn't even recognize. We think about it, right? I was just thinking this morning where I was a year ago and where I am now, and I'm like, baby, I mean, you did that.
[00:09:26] Speaker C: And then compared to three or five or 10 years ago, it's like, what if you can, you know, in one year just notice all of that?
[00:09:33] Speaker B: Whoo.
Yeah. So maybe ask yourself what's working now that didn't used to work? Where are you handling things differently than you did a year, six weeks, six days, six seconds ago? How you've grown. And those invisible wins are the evidence that your healing is working, that you are doing the work.
[00:09:55] Speaker C: And.
[00:09:55] Speaker B: And they may not show up on paper, but they are actually reshaping your everyday life.
[00:10:00] Speaker C: Yeah, it will show up. You might not see it today, but it will show up. If you're doing it, it's going to happen. It's going to show up in this experience.
[00:10:09] Speaker B: This is a lesson that I am leaning into more and more as I do. All of the private behind the scenes.
[00:10:18] Speaker B: Is not so private because I'll be telling y' all, I'm in therapy and I have a coach and I do all of these things, but y' all don't know what they take me through. Like, how they be dragging me all the.
[00:10:29] Speaker C: Willingly.
[00:10:29] Speaker B: I might add, sometimes it don't be willing. I just throw a whole tantrum and I'll be like, no, it's not just like my therapist and my coach, the mirrors in the relationships that I have. That's what I say. Little down with myself. I'll be like, I don't want to do that.
[00:10:46] Speaker C: That's when I see 5 year old Tara and I'm like, oh, she gonna need a minute.
[00:10:49] Speaker B: And then sometimes even, like, what I say now is, like, when I'm minding my own business. I was getting a pedicure, and someone's name dropped in, like, their whole whatever. And it was like, well, you know that thing that you read the other day? You need to also say that to this person because they don't need it. And I was like, I'm getting a pedicure. Like, what are we talking about?
[00:11:06] Speaker C: I'm on holiday here. Can you, like, leave me alone for a second?
[00:11:10] Speaker B: Yeah, the word is.
But all of that to say, in this season, I am learning that the end of the year, the end of the season, that transition isn't about evaluation. It's about integration.
And it's not about rushing into what's next. It's letting these lessons and these experiences settle in my spirit.
It's where all of these experiences turn into that wisdom because I don't have to do any more to acknowledge what's already changed in me.
[00:11:45] Speaker C: Y', all. She is on the preaching. I am just like, yes, Tara, go.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: Go, go, go, explorer. You don't have to wa.
[00:11:58] Speaker B: To start over. Your new year, your new you, your new becoming can start right now where you are in your experience.
Instead of asking, what's next? What is the next thing?
Ask, what did I learn? What did this year, this season, this relationship? Teach me. Let the lessons breathe. Let that growth land before you try to build and improve upon it.
[00:12:19] Speaker C: Yes, yes. And also, you know, all the Amen. Aho. All of the things that we do. You know that our physical bodies, our cells, trillions and trillions of cells completely, completely.
[00:12:39] Speaker C: Shift and change. It's a crazy number X amount of times per second. Imagine that you are changing and growing constantly.
Here's the old adage. If a tree falls in the forest, like, well, he didn't hear it, but when you go to the forest and the tree's there, you're like, well, yeah, the tree fell in the forest.
You are learning and growing, even if you're not seeing the physical repercussions of it. In this second, you know somewhere deep down that you have done something magnificent, that things are shifting for you, that you are growing, that you are creating your reality, your master of your destiny. You are becoming more aware and more present and. And more magnificent every second of every day. Boom.
[00:13:24] Speaker B: As you were talking, it reminded me of our first attempt in learning Episode. Like, it's not failure. So, like, this mantra or this idea is, I'm not starting over. I'm Starting from experience.
[00:13:39] Speaker C: And there's nothing to attain. Right. The end of the line is death for all of us.
[00:13:43] Speaker B: You won't die.
[00:13:45] Speaker C: We all know that's right. What we're imagining, where we want to be, it doesn't even come close to where we're gonna be.
[00:13:52] Speaker D: Oh.
[00:13:53] Speaker C: You know what I'm saying?
[00:13:55] Speaker B: Oh, I. Yeah.
[00:13:58] Speaker C: All right.
[00:13:59] Speaker B: Yeah, that's it. All right. Now I'm ready to dance. All right.
[00:14:05] Speaker B: Okay, then, before we dance it out, any other bombs, gems, beauty that you want to leave?
[00:14:13] Speaker C: No, I feel pretty good.
[00:14:15] Speaker B: All right. So, yeah. Today's song is a reminder that growth has always been happening, even when you can't see it. The song is Every Season by Nicole Nordman.
[00:14:28] Speaker C: I love when she drops one. I love it when she drops one.
[00:14:31] Speaker D: I don't know, y'.
[00:14:32] Speaker C: All.
[00:14:37] Speaker A: Check out this week's song on the YO Podcast playlist on Spotify.
[00:14:45] Speaker C: Oh, heck yeah.
[00:14:47] Speaker B: Listen.
[00:14:50] Speaker C: Go.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: I'm trying to go. But we'll offer thanks for what has been and what's to come.
[00:14:58] Speaker C: That line jumped right out at me. Yep. And the way the melody and music is so reflective and of that season. Right? Exactly. Exactly. That's the mood. That's what we're creating.
[00:15:10] Speaker B: So, y', all, every season has a purpose. Every single one of them.
[00:15:17] Speaker C: Yep.
You're not probably not gonna see it in the moment. You might not. You might.
[00:15:23] Speaker B: I know. I don't. In a moment, I'd be like, this is stupid. What are we doing? This is dumb. Why is this this way? I don't like anything.
[00:15:31] Speaker C: You know how many times where I'm like, I see or experience something and I'm like, huh?
I don't see it until a year or two later. I'm usually like a year or two out, kind of my timeline.
Hilarious. I'm, oh, that's where I'm going. And then it comes and I'm like, oh, yeah, we're here now.
[00:15:48] Speaker B: Makes total sense now. Great.
Yeah. All right, so our question of the day.
What part of this year or season or transition do you want to stop calling a waste and see, Start calling a lesson.
[00:16:06] Speaker C: There's so many things.
[00:16:09] Speaker B: All right, yeah, I got two. I got two. So the first one is the season or seasons where I felt stuck.
It feels wasteful, cuz it's like, well, I'm just sitting here and I'm like, spinning my wheels and nothing is happening. But what I know now is that this standing still, this quote unquote stuckness as I perceived it, actually taught me what alignment feels like that stillness or stuckness is not the same thing as stagnation.
[00:16:48] Speaker C: Did you catch that?
[00:16:51] Speaker B: Stillness or stuckness, however you want to say it, is not the same thing as stagnation.
Sometimes being still is the only way that we can realize what no longer fits, what no longer serves us. So that's number one.
[00:17:07] Speaker C: Oh, my.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: Stillness ain't the same thing as stagnation.
[00:17:10] Speaker C: Yes. The only way you're gonna see that, you're going like this. You're like, if you're going with it, you're like, I can't see that. But if you stand still for a second, you're like, oh, yeah, there is trajectory happening.
[00:17:19] Speaker B: And number two.
[00:17:23] Speaker B: Those times, those moments, those seasons where I question my purpose or my own progress in that this. This doorway of doubt, this window of whatever it is that bubbled up through the doorway of doubt became the spaces and the places and the seasons where I leaned into deeper trust, deeper trust of myself, deeper trust of my relationships, deeper trust of my creator. And this awareness that comes, like this uncertainty, this questioning, like, it doesn't ever be like, oh, you know what? I got it all figured out. I have all the answers. I don't. As a recovering perfectionist, a recovering superhero, if I didn't have the answers or if I was uncertain of which way to go, which thing to say, which thing to do, that somehow I was off track.
[00:18:14] Speaker B: Now what I know is that this uncertainty, this questioning is proof that I'm growing, that I'm stretching beyond my comfort zone, that I am curious, that I'm present and aware that things are changing and shifting.
Those moments were necessary. I could not be where I am now without those. I cannot grow and accept the fullness of who I am right now. If I didn't slow down enough to be like, hey, life, what we got going on today? What are we doing? What are we learning? Where am I supposed to be in this moment? What lesson am I supposed to take from this experience? So that's all I got.
[00:18:52] Speaker C: Well, I'm going to reflect a little bit of that because for me, the moments where I feel like I'm in a slow motion video.
[00:19:02] Speaker C: I'm rolling around, and I'm like, what was that? What is happening? What is happening?
I am like, in those moments, I now know that, like, big doings, cool stuff is happening. So just be okay with sitting with that. And for me, it's go have some fun.
[00:19:22] Speaker B: Go. Just.
[00:19:23] Speaker C: Just go.
Go on some swings, watch a funny movie, have some laugh time with friends, people that crack you up. I Feel like those moments are grounded and infused when you access joy instead of the fear and the unknowing and the like, oh, my God, what's happening? It's like, okay, this is that. This is that feeling I have, and I'm just gonna go have fun.
That's what I'm gonna do. So that has been really pivotal for me. And also understanding that what I'm feeling in this moment.
[00:19:59] Speaker C: I can feel know that I spent many decades of my life not even being able to name what I was feeling.
Now I'm able to access it a lot quicker, if not even in the same moment. But I'm like, oh, okay.
[00:20:18] Speaker C: All right, I got you. And I also have conversations with my inner child because she's like, this is me telling you something. And the triggers that we experience, those moments, they are trying to show us something. And when I'm feeling something in my body, even if I can't name it or if I can't quite connect or process it, in that moment, I know that it's trying to show me something.
And I am down with it. I am like, let's go. Let's learn what is. What is this one? So that I can now address it and go in and heal it. Yeah, I can be with it.
Yeah.
[00:20:52] Speaker B: That's so fun.
[00:20:54] Speaker B: I want to share a quote from activist, evangelist, author, public speaker Christine Cain.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: She said, sometimes when you're in a dark place, you think you're being buried, but actually you've been planted.
[00:21:15] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, that's good, right?
[00:21:19] Speaker B: That's about that perspective shift. It's the right.
[00:21:21] Speaker C: It's not torture. It's an opportunity, right? Yes.
[00:21:26] Speaker B: That shift in perspective about like, oh, my God, I'm in this dirt. And this is all. No, this is not awful. Wait a minute, hold on. The root is growing. Hold on, wait a minute. I'm stretching. And I am becoming something beautiful in this process. So, explorers, you don't have to rush to redeem this year, this season, this transition, it already holds purpose.
Even the hard parts, even the detours, they are all shaping you and have shaped you for what's next.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: Your job and role isn't to fix what's happened. It's to recognize what it gave you.
[00:22:05] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. To recognize that there is such beauty in that becoming. There's just. Just. It's. We're not saying it's doesn't have challenges or it's easy. We're just saying it's righteous. Like it is. Like, yes.
[00:22:23] Speaker B: Yeah. So trust that none of it was wasted.
And as you close this chapter or move into this next season, give yourself some grace.
[00:22:35] Speaker C: Grace, grace, my brothers and sisters. Give yourself some grace. We are human and learning as we go. And that's the whole point of the whole dang thing.
Like we're learning.
[00:22:46] Speaker B: Give yourself that space to be proud of the progress you made. Give yourself that space to rest and receive the lessons that only time can teach.
Okay.
[00:22:58] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:23:00] Speaker B: If this episode helped you reframe your year, your season, your transition, share it with another experience explorer who might need a reminder that their slow season isn't wasted.
[00:23:10] Speaker C: We get so caught up in the goal setting and the doing. Hold the phone. Just check it out. Check out what has happened for you.
[00:23:18] Speaker B: So until next time, may you walk into this next season knowing that you've already grown more than you thought. See you next week on your Odyssey.
[00:23:28] Speaker C: Thanks for being here everyone. The door is right there and whenever you're ready, you're gonna walk through. Be kind and gentle with yourself. We love you so much. We' see you next time. Take good care.
[00:23:42] Speaker D: Thank you to Queenies in downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for welcoming us so warmly. Each week.
[00:23:51] Speaker D: We'D like to give a shout out to Coco Cinnamon, the birthplace of 1023 Media and the yo podcast. Please support your local women owned minority owned coffee shop in downtown Durham.
[00:24:03] Speaker B: Durham.
[00:24:08] Speaker D: Brought to you by Durham based 1023 Media, a heart centered woman owned multimedia company.
