Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome to youo Odyssey Podcast where your.
[00:00:06] Speaker B: Guides, Tara and Karen invite you on a transformative journey toward wholeness and personal growth.
Each week we'll discuss topics related to the human experience and offer insights to help you along the way.
Please note this podcast should not replace medical care or advice. We are not licensed healthcare professionals or mental health therapists.
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So explorers, let's dive into today's episode.
[00:00:53] Speaker A: Hey Explorers, it's Tara. Karen and I are so glad you pressed play today.
Gratitude Month continues and this week we're turning to the other half of the story.
Not just giving thanks, but receiving it.
[00:01:10] Speaker C: Just hang tight with us because we're gonna come around to it.
[00:01:13] Speaker A: It'll be fine.
Yes, so often gratitude is reduced to what we give. Thank you notes, polite acknowledgments.
But we feel the missing half of gratitude is the practice of receiving.
Receiving without deflecting. Receiving without apology.
Receiving as a way to honor the gift and the giver.
[00:01:40] Speaker C: I tell you, the giving and receiving paradigm. As much as we all probably understand and love that feeling of giving something to someone that we know they like, being able to receive from someone gives them the opportunity to enjoy being the giver.
That in itself is a gift. You're receiving with an open heart and gratitude that which they are sharing.
[00:02:07] Speaker A: When we block receiving, we block connection, intimacy and growth. Today we're exploring why receiving can feel so challenging.
The healing power of learning to receive and how to cultivate a practice of receiving.
[00:02:24] Speaker C: I will definitely say that historically I was one sided. The giver, the giver, the giver. And learning to receive has been life altering and it has enhanced my life and all the openness of it I think is hard for some of us when we've been giving our whole lives because that's how we felt our worth.
[00:02:49] Speaker A: Yeah, for many of us, receiving is uncomfortable from a young age. We are shaped by culture and family conditioning. That sounds like, don't be a burden.
Be self sufficient.
Don't take too much.
So we learn to survive by giving.
To stay safe, we poured ourselves out.
Constant giving felt easier because it keeps us in control.
We decide what to give, when and how much.
[00:03:31] Speaker C: Is survival control a really big part of it? And that is when you're like nope, hold on, back off the truck.
[00:03:42] Speaker A: But receiving, that requires openness.
It means admitting you need something or want something.
It exposes your desires, your imperfections and your humanity.
[00:03:57] Speaker C: And goodness gracious, God forbid We do that right? Like, everybody's looking.
We think now so important to develop the flexibility of receiving that says yes.
[00:04:10] Speaker D: Asking for help.
[00:04:12] Speaker A: You taught me that, Tara.
[00:04:14] Speaker C: You taught me asking for help and support.
[00:04:19] Speaker A: Oh, wow.
[00:04:21] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:04:21] Speaker A: When we're offered care, affirmation, or generosity, blocks immediately rise up. I don't deserve this.
I should be the one helping.
I don't want to inconvenience anyone.
[00:04:36] Speaker C: I can stand on my own.
I don't need help. It's such a defense mechanism.
I say that now, having literally just.
[00:04:46] Speaker A: Taken down the wall. So what do we do? We deflect, dismiss, or downplay the gift. We feel guilty for simply accepting it.
Here's the truth, though. When we shut down receiving, we don't just rob ourselves. We deny others the joy of giving.
We close the door to being supported.
[00:05:14] Speaker C: We shut down the flow on every level when we cannot.
[00:05:18] Speaker A: All around.
[00:05:19] Speaker C: All the way around.
[00:05:20] Speaker A: All around, yes.
But vulnerability is also where healing begins.
[00:05:27] Speaker C: The crossroads.
I love that which allows me to receive.
[00:05:42] Speaker A: Receiving is an act of trust. It means we are letting ourselves be cared for, supported, and seen.
Feels risky. I understand it.
[00:05:55] Speaker C: Yes, you do, sister.
I don't want to hear y'.
[00:05:59] Speaker A: All. There's this about hyper independence and how it's a survival trauma, grief response.
I don't know if you've heard this, but it's very much. The receiving wall is up. Is fortified. It is like. No, okay, I got it. I'm.
[00:06:25] Speaker C: I'm a standalone moment. They got my fortresses. And if I open up the door.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: To receive, then that means I'm open, right?
They can get in when I do that.
They can get in.
It's a thing.
When we allow ourselves to receive, we dismantle the lie of scarcity. We remember that love, help, and kindness don't actually run out.
They're gifts that grow when shared.
Here's a thought. Healing happens when we allow ourselves to be filled, not just poured out.
[00:07:07] Speaker C: I mean, that's where most of the healing happens.
[00:07:13] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:07:14] Speaker C: People to connect with us and share with us and show their love to us.
But we can give all day long. We're real good at that.
[00:07:25] Speaker A: Let me. Allow me.
[00:07:26] Speaker C: I'm controlling.
[00:07:27] Speaker D: I'm doing this.
[00:07:28] Speaker A: This is about me.
[00:07:28] Speaker C: This is how I feel good about myself.
Receiving.
That's right.
[00:07:33] Speaker A: Think about how many times you run on empty because you believed you had to do it all alone. Receiving interrupts that cycle.
She not talking about the crime, y'.
[00:07:47] Speaker D: All.
[00:07:47] Speaker A: She talking about years of her life.
Or is that. Or maybe it is a crime.
Is It a crime.
Okay, so, yeah, practical examples are accepting a compliment without shrinking or deflecting.
Guilty, Guilty. Say, oh, this, this, this one.
[00:08:17] Speaker C: I can see it hurts already.
[00:08:21] Speaker A: Not for me personally, but when I witness it, like, it's an assault to my whole being.
Saying thank you when someone helps you instead of I'm sorry.
[00:08:34] Speaker D: I just tell.
[00:08:35] Speaker A: Just.
[00:08:35] Speaker C: Just in the last 24 hours, how many people have said, I'm sorry? I'm like, no, there's no apology necessary. First of all, nobody threatened me to do that.
Second of all, you have nothing to apologize for.
[00:08:48] Speaker A: You're not apologizing for existing every time. We receive with openness, when we reinforce this truth.
I am worthy of love, rest, and generosity.
[00:09:06] Speaker C: I am worthy of love, rest, and generosity.
Things that fill us up. Gifts from others or ourselves, to ourselves.
[00:09:18] Speaker A: Say thank you without adding quality qualifiers like, you didn't have to or I don't deserve this.
Just like no is a complete sentence.
[00:09:28] Speaker D: Thank you.
[00:09:28] Speaker C: Simply thank you. Genuine thank you.
Acknowledge that gift of the heart in whatever form it comes.
[00:09:35] Speaker A: I find myself like, my thank you are always like, oh, thank you. Like, oh, my heart.
Oh, you're.
[00:09:44] Speaker D: You touched me.
[00:09:44] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:09:47] Speaker A: Letting yourself savor simple kindness. An offered seat, a thoughtful text, a cooked meal.
[00:09:55] Speaker C: There's a difference between reading or experiencing that and really receiving it, allowing it to soak in to your heart.
[00:10:04] Speaker A: That's a practice pausing before you deflect or minimize and practice receiving thieving. Over time, intentional shifts retrain our hearts. They remind us that being cared for is not a weakness. It's part of being human.
[00:10:22] Speaker C: It's reciprocal to yourself, your community, the world, all of life. And you have to just only be the giver.
[00:10:31] Speaker D: Right?
[00:10:31] Speaker A: Is it. What's that? It's a book. The Giving Tree that, like, just gave. Gave it. Like, what do you want to be? A star, Right? Is that what you want?
[00:10:39] Speaker D: Right.
[00:10:41] Speaker C: Let's not be stubborn. I mean, it's a beautiful book.
[00:10:44] Speaker A: It is, yes.
[00:10:46] Speaker C: The message selflessly, the true game of herself. And also, at the end of the day, you know, I like having some apples.
[00:10:56] Speaker A: When we receive well, we show others that it's safe to do the same.
We can create a culture of giving and receiving where generosity flows in both directions.
[00:11:09] Speaker C: Imagine. So, like we talked about earlier, that giving desire is a beautiful, wonderful, nurturing desire until it crosses over into, this is how I value myself. This is how I keep control of my surroundings. Right? And it is very much a symptom of having that survival mentality and physiology in your body that fight or Flight response. It's a rewiring to create that safety for yourself. Love yourself and be aware enough to know I don't have to do this alone. We are social creatures. We need each other and to allow those gifts in whatever it is, time, energy, physical gift complement, allow it to feed you and to fuel you. There's a certain element of self trust of others in the universe required for that.
[00:12:10] Speaker A: Receiving is gratitude in action. It honors both the gift and the giver and teaches our souls that we don't have to carry everything alone.
[00:12:23] Speaker C: News of early years. We're like, well, guess I am an island. I guess I gotta figure this all out.
[00:12:29] Speaker A: Guess it's just me for me.
All right, this seems like a lovely time to move to our song for this episode.
A song that embodies the spirit of openness and gratitude.
It's a way of honoring love, kindness and the people who choose to pour into us.
The song is Kind and Generous by Natalie Merchant.
[00:12:57] Speaker C: I love Natalie.
[00:13:02] Speaker B: Check out this week's song on the.
[00:13:04] Speaker A: YO Podcast playlist on Spotify.
[00:13:17] Speaker C: Sweet.
[00:13:18] Speaker A: So thank you.
You've been so kind and generous.
[00:13:25] Speaker C: It's funny, right in the middle of it I was like, I want to thank you.
I want to thank you for just the kindness and love and, oh, support and friendship and sisterhood.
[00:13:42] Speaker A: I'm sorry I receive it.
Those lyrics are a reminder that receiving isn't selfish or small. It's an act of trust. It is gratitude in action.
[00:13:56] Speaker C: To give an acknowledgement of gratitude to someone, I mean, that is just such a beautiful feeling.
[00:14:01] Speaker A: Which leads us to our question of the day.
When was the last time you let yourself receive fully without apology or deflection? I feel like I just did it. Like, rewind back about a minute. You just really did that.
There have been so many opportunities to receive, to divorce myself from the idea that I don't deserve this and just really lean into it. Or thank you for dinner. Thank you for this thing. It's like, you're welcome or hey, can I help do blah blah blah. Yep. You sure?
So many opportunities to show up open and receiving and vulnerable. That has changed how you approach everything.
[00:14:53] Speaker C: Absolutely.
I would say the big one for me was receiving the that life changing.
Really grateful for that gift.
And I've definitely acknowledged that and received that and let go of any concern or anxiety or guilt. But just say yes.
[00:15:17] Speaker A: Just say yes.
[00:15:18] Speaker D: Thank you.
[00:15:20] Speaker A: As we've explored today, gratitude is only completely complete when it flows in both directions. When we give and when we allow ourselves to receive.
Receiving is an act of trust, a way of letting love and kindness do their work in us. It dismantles scarcity and reminds us that we don't have to carry everything.
I found a quote from one of our favorite quote people. Yes, it is from Brene Brown. Brene said, until we can receive, receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart.
Wow.
Just come for all of us then, Brene, just go ahead. Yeah.
[00:16:02] Speaker C: I remember working with a healing practitioner a few years ago who informed me my heart energy was very tightly closed and I was like, no, but I'm so I do my guide to give. I said I. But now I get it in a different way. It was because I thought it was more of an obligation thing and a control to give and Lord knows I did not at that point really know how to receive with grace.
And wow. It's a practice like anything. You know, as you said before, it's like giving yourself that pause to notice, oh, this is someone giving to me. Also known as taking care of me, loving me, showing me kindness and I'm okay enough and can be vulnerable enough to admit I love it and to receive it.
[00:16:58] Speaker A: Yes, explorers, let Brene's words sink in. Receiving isn't. Weakness is what makes generosity whole.
If this episode spoke to you, we'd love to hear from you. Share your reflections on Instagram. Send us a message at your Odyssey life.
[00:17:18] Speaker C: Give us that so we can receive it.
[00:17:22] Speaker A: Tell us where in your life you've let yourself receive more openly this week. And don't forget to follow, rate and share the podcast.
Until next time, stay open, open, stay trusting and let yourself receive the love, kindness and generosity that was always meant for you.
[00:17:42] Speaker C: You are worth it. You deserve it.
You are amazing. Thanks explorers for being here with us and we'll see you next time. We love you so much. Take good care.
[00:17:56] Speaker D: Thank you to Queenies in downtown Durham for the use of their community podcast studio and for welcoming us so warmly each week.
We'd like to give a shout out to Coco Cinnamon, the birthplace of 1023 Media and the yo podcast. Please support your local women owned minority owned coffee shop in downtown Durham.
Brought to you by Durham based 10233 Media, a heart centered woman owned multimedia company.
